Being of norweigan heritage – Uff dah – is a common expression around my house.  When you stub your toe on the coffee table….uff dah!  When you forget to take the gas pump out of your car before taking off … UFF DAH!  When you find out that your parents have gone thru your room in order to find left over dishes and found your vibrator… UFF DAH!  When you *ahem* forget your best friend’s birthday – UFF DAH!!!!  When you log on on a tuesday morning – early – and get a huge gallon of cum spurting newbies and regulars…. yup.  You guessed it – UFF DAH!!!  (though this uff dah is more in the positive inflection – not in the “oh dang it” kind of inflection…) Uff dah (ooooff duh) is a word that means so much – but can be translated to – Oye Vey (spelling?) or in typical teen age fashion – Oh Snap! – or in typical adult fashion: Oh Shit!  Try it out sometime … it is an expression that is universal!

I had an uff dah kind of nite/morning.  Like I said – so many calls – so many happy satisfied CUM-stumers (lol!) and so many happy CeCe’s as I got to cum right along with them!

My repeat man “D” asked me in his fantasy what addiction meant.  I somewhat shyly gave him my explanation – but I got to thinking as I did: How many of us are truly addicted to sex – and is it something that we wish to “recover” from?  I know of many people who have addictions to alcohol, to hell – food, even – and of course know of people who are addicted to Drugs.  But I have never really known anyone who really has been addicted to sex enough to go into a treatment facility for it.  If my many callers are addicted to sex – then am I a pusher?  *hangs head in mock shame*.  Do I have callers who have not gone to work for weeks at a time because they are in front of their computer with their pants down to their ankles jacking off for the 123789723789th time that day?  (wouldn’t that be a bit painful – I’m wondering???!)  Is it really that serious?  And if it is – how do you break your addiction to … cumming?  I mean – you have to cum!  I’ve been told by countless boyfriends that if they don’t cum they will explode – and not in the good sense.  That somehow all that cum will just build up in their scrotums and one day explode painfully as a result.  Can we say it all together, now? U-F-F-D-A-H!

If *you* are an addict, and you are reading this…(though I don’t know how possible that would be provided you need two hands to type and maneuver your way to my diary page to read all this!) please – for the love of all that is holy and just – SEEK TREATMENT NOW!  Call Niteflirt – there are flirts – I mean psychiatrists available to help you!  We will walk you thru the 12 steps of recovery:

1. I am powerless over my need for cum release - and I will explode if I don’t let go.
2. Came to believe that a Flirt – who is more knowledgeable about these kinds of things – could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will to cum – and the way we cum - over to the care of our Flirts as we understood them.
4. Made a searching and fearless monetary inventory.
5. Admitted to a flirt, and to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our “kinks”.
6. Were entirely ready to have our flirt redefine these “defects” of character so that we could embrace – not remove – them.
7. Humbly admit our short-cummings.
8. Made a list of all flirts we had not yet contacted, and became willing to try ‘em out. (If not satisfied with current flirt, that is!!)
9. Made direct payments to all paid mails not yet opened.
10. Continued to take personal financial inventory and where we were cheap – promptly admitted it.
11. Sought thru prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with our flirt, as we understood them, praying for knowledge of their will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a sexual awakening as the results of these steps – tried to carry this message to other Cum-stumers so that they could reach this same awakening.

If you need further assistance – my office hours will be until 8:00AM today – and then by appointment after those hours.  My fee is: 1.75 an hour. oops. I mean 1.75 a MINUTE!!!*wink*.