I’ve made some headway. Actually - by 3:00AM I will have made TONS of headway!!! Yay CeCe! I’ve broke thru whatever it is that had me stuck and I’m back to normal again. Forgive my momentary lapse of what I like to call “writer’s hell”. Or maybe it’s the part of me that just thinks TOO much. I figured out… well… let me just start at the beginning and I’ll get to my REVELATION in due time. This is gonna be a long post. Get comfy.

So I cleaned - I did laundry - I took out the trash - I worked out - and I while I was vacuuming I started to feel not so heavy and a bit light hearted again. Whew. I knew it was the mess - I just knew it. It was preventing me from thinking. And you can view “mess” however lightly (or heavily) you want to.

I decided on what puppy I’m going to get. And my family is putting in their say - and I want to tell them that hey - I’m paying for the little bundle of joy myself - somehow - so their little say really is just a courtesy I’m extending. I mean - I’ll need a babysitter now and then and it will be nice to be able to rely on them for at least that much. Yes? I’ll be getting a Malti. And due to the bestiality fear that runs amuck on niteflirt - no button has been created yet. I need to write to the powers that be and ask them how best to go about making a donation button. Until then - feel free to call and know that your orgasm (and mine, too, if I’m lucky) is helping to contribute. As if you needed any more incentive to call, right? lol. I’m hoping that around my bday (November 24th) I’ll have the new addition to the family. I’ll need about 3 grand to pay for the vet, puppy, and a few necessities to start off with. Yes - I’m talking about bows for the little tuft of hair on top of his/her pretty little head, a sweater or two, and some other puppy necessities.

I realized that since the 15th of this month I have had about 10 customers who have qualified for a free pic (or two or three). I sent them out along with a thank you note this afternoon. I actually was a little tiny bit late - but all in all - I did it! I followed thru and a few of you will be happy to find some great pics in your email. Maybe you didn’t know I was running a special this month (May 15 - June 15). Well - NOW you know!

I have a final on Saturday that I need to prepare for. Tomorrow I’ll be doing calls and typing up my notes and studying. I work at the gym for the next 2 days so I’ll be probably having another all niter - but - we’re really not surprised, right? I ended up getting another A (100 percent, actually) on my last project - so I’m pretty much assured an A if I can at least get a B on this test. I’ll be striving to get an A on this test just because - well - who wants to “settle”? After my final I’ll be looking at my schedule for summer classes. I wasn’t going to take an art class this year - but I decided while I was cleaning up that you know what? I deserve to take a few classes that just feed me. As in FEED my spirit. I just need to find a way - need to find time - and need to just do it. As long as I take my other 2 classes this summer I can afford a bit of time just for myself. Plus I was able to sell a few of my art pieces last year and made close to $500 bucks - which for me was a treat. It was unexpected - and nice. It’s not alot - but hey - if I can make a few pieces to keep and a few more to sell this year - that’s (I’m bad at math so hang on while I figure this out…) 1/6th (right?) of what I’ll need for my dear little Maltese. So I’ll get to feed my spirit and feed my daugher or son. Sounds like an opportunity I can’t pass up!

Ok - so - I was stuck. But I think I was just a bit burnt out. I was working and working and I wasn’t getting anything to feed my spirit. I think everyone needs someone or something that just feeds them, ya know? Something that just motivates them to try a bit harder - and push themselves a bit more. I’m a person of meaning - so much that it bugs the shit out of me to just exist for the sake of existing. I was getting stuck in some sort of schedule and expectation type of merry go round that wasn’t working for me. It’s not that I need to have drama or angst to move me forward or anything - but I do need to have some LIFE - some unexpected surprises - and some joy - just some unadulterated (sheer, simply, absolute) joy. Trust me when I say - I’m a much happier person - and will continue to be - with this recipe in place.

So there we have it. I’m back - coming back - heading back. Whatever.

And before I forget…whoever was so kind as to send me my latest movies off my wish list - thank you thank you thank you so much much much! It’s kinda funny looking at the titles after this post: Happy Feet, Little Miss Sunshine, Holiday… It’s like my secret summer santa knew before I did what I needed. In addition to the not one but 2 ipods I got when mine was taken so horribly from me, my great writing books, and Milo the 1st, the rings, earrings, and necklaces, in addition to lipgloss and eyeshadow galore - these past few months have been a treat and then some. Thanks to everyone for cheering me and sending me tokens of your appreciation and adoration! *muahz!*