Now that my big bad final is out of the way – and I’m free for about 2 days – Ihave been soaking up all kinds of television that I wasn’t able to indulge in … wait. Why am I lying? I’ve been watching tv – and doing all nighters since the beginning of my classes! But since everyone was away this weekend (I had to stay back cuz of the big bad Final! grrrr) I got to sit around in my panties and watch BAD tv. Really bad tv. Like – the biggest hollywood feuds, and the naughtiest bad girls, and coyote ugly marathon, and… (drum roll please) Maxim’s Top 100 – Most Beautiful Women. *sigh* *double sigh* *triple sigh with drool on the side*!!!! I love looking at beautiful women. I really do. I feel bad for men who can’t look at beautiful men with the same freedom as we women can look at beautiful women. Seriously. I just love looking at a beautiful girl. I’m MOST appreciative – and feel no sense of jealousy or anything ridiculous as that. Maybe it’s confidence – maybe it’s just … I dunno … maturity? (haha). I have only had a few moments of jealousy about pretty women in my life – and that usually happens when a guy is going on and on about a particular kind of woman that I’m not. Like if a guy was going to be talking about his fascination with tall women who played basketball or something – and I was so not that type. I’d start to wonder if maybe he should just go and find himself someone from a woman’s basketball team and stop fucking me, ya know? And yeah – I’ve been with guys who do that. Maybe not aobut a woman who is tall and plays basketball – but more like a woman who has big titties and a huge ass or something.

So anyways – back to Maxim.

I was watching it and all of a sudden – they show right off the bat – number 100. I about came. This woman was so damn beautiful it made my heart just hurt. I kept backing up the dvr on the satellite just so I could stare at her. Luscious lips. Great hair. Olive complexion. Nice boobies. Sweet – almost nerdy demeanor. Incredibly intelligent – I mean I think this girl speaks like 10 languages or something. And she can write in Arabic. Talk about TALENTED!!! (pitter pat pitter pat). I mean – just look at her: OMG! Lawdy lord gawd Almighty! Her name is Noureen DeWulf – and according to Maxim Magazine – she is number 100 of the most beautiful women in … well – I guess in the entire US of A. So I was interested, of course. If she was 100 – then who in the hell was NUMBER UNO? I had to stick around and find out, Didn’t I?!?!

What a disappointment. They didn’t go thru all of them – but they focused on a few. You can always go to Maxim and look at the list yourself, of course – but I find that it is my duty to share with you the news straight away. According to Maxim – LINDSAY LOHAN is the most beautiful woman in the United States Of America. Now in the picture she looks pretty good. But THE MOST BEAUTIFUL? More beautiful than number 100? Come on! I know we all love teens (waves from her desk) – but come on! Has MAXIM lost their damn minds? There are so many more beautiful women in the world other than Lindsay Lohan! Jeez Louise. I’m still upset. I sat and waited for an hour for … LINDSAY LOHAN. I don’t hate the girl. I really don’t. I hate Paris Hilton. Ok. I don’t even hate Paris – she just annoys me. I don’t even hate Lindsay. She doesn’t annoy me – other than her drinking and her hanging out with the wrong crowd and her lack of acting ability. I think she’s probably a nice girl. She needs to stop singing. But she’s okay. I like her fine. But I don’t think she’s more beautiful than … let’s say… Kim Kardashian. Do You?

I thought that I would have the energy to put up my top 10 pretty women in the world – but I just don’t have it in me right now. I’m just annoyed. (lol! I take things way too seriously, right?). Maybe later on I will. I don’t know.

So as not to be a hater – let me just say CONGRATS Lindsay! You’re a fine looking young woman – that I wouldn’t mind fucking with a dildo or two while pulling your hair and calling you “fire crotch”. I’d even invite you to a party or two – but you need to stay away from the booze – and the karaoke machine. I love you, though. Muahz!