I’m about to write a private entry. You’re welcome to read it - I just wanted to give it a bit of a buffer in case there were people who didn’t really “know” me that way and didn’t really WANT to know me that way. I know that seems kinda silly to write, but I’m well aware of the “fantasy” here - and that some of my readers would feel a bit strange to read something of a pretty personal nature about me. They would rather keep it light - and I don’t and won’t begrudge them the opportunity to keep it that way.

For those of you who know me - you can email me and ask me for the password. I won’t be selling it because I have no idea what the going rate on “personal” entries go for. I will be, at some point in the near future, have private entries that will be for sale. This isn’t one of them.
Email me and ask me for the password and I will give it to you. I’ll count the email as the key - and there will be no questions asked of you. I’ll simply email you back the password and you can read the entry. My email address is celinawetdreams@gmail.com. I will respond to you when I am able to.

Thanks. Hope you have a good night. I’ll try to log on later on this evening, perhaps. I’ve had a rough day so I am definitely not promising anything. If you don’t see me late late tonight/early morning - look for me tomorrow evening. I’ll be logging in sometime around 8:00PM or so if all goes well.

I made a decision not so long ago that there would be certain topics I would leave for private entries - and/or phone conversations. Sex is definitely one of those topics. I know it may seem sort of silly to first time visitors of this blog that I’m a Phone Sex Operator that doesn’t want to talk about sex all out in the open like - but there is a method to my madness. I’ve always wanted this blog to be a place where my callers (and potential callers) can get a glimpse into what makes me tick - what I think about - and well - I want them to know that there is a real girl behind all the NF hoopala, you know? I go through things that normal girls go through - breakups - break outs (lol) - cramming for math tests when I had all weekend to prepare, fights with my parents, occasional blue spells, buyers remorse (LOL!) and even the occasional laugh attack over some funny link that comes my way. This link happens to be of sexual nature - so I’m bending the rules just a tiny bit this time. *wink*

When I was in chat last weekend speaking to a few girls in my attempt to avoid - well - to avoid life, basically, I was given this link. When I went to look at it I fell out laughing. I could not stop the tears from falling. It just … nah uh. The comments on this site were the best - I didn’t even really need to look at the toy much at all for the humor. The comments make it seem like this is just some every day activity - and well, I live in the suburbs. I know I know - I’m in the “sex” industry, too - and people have their opinions about my job and they probably sound an awful lot like my comments about the anal ring toss - but read the comments at the site and tell me it ain’t funny! They sound a bit like this:

Hey - I got this little anal ring toss as a gift for my girlfriend. I couldn’t wait to try it out! I put her on her knees - yanked those panties on down and called over Bob and Earl from next door. Handing them their rings, we went to work trying to pin the ring around the asshole. Bob didn’t really have that great of an aim - but Earl got a hole in one every damn time! After we finished up the game - we all sat on the porch, drank a few Old Milwaukees, and planned for the next time. Earl wants to wear the anal ring toss next. I’ll let you know how it all works out. 5 stars for me, though. This is one hell of a good time!

The more I think about this the more I’m curious about it. I feel a bit like I’m missing out on some real fun activity or something. My brother’s use to do this to me (not the anal ring toss - stop being perverted!) when they wanted to trick me into something. They’d sit around and talk up some horrible tasting food like it was delicious - until I begged to try it. Then they’d hand me some frog leg or something and laugh hysterically at the face I made when they told me I had just tasted Kermit the Frog.

Maybe the anal ring toss is just another frog leg. But then - maybe not? Anyone wanna test it out and give me a review I can actually believe?

I am having a hard time believing that there can be so many comments surrounding/alluding to/regarding Jackson. If I didn’t adore him so much, I might actually be a bit jealous.

I have to admit that when I thought of getting a puppy I thought of only the really positive things. I would sit and day dream about a little white puff of fur sitting next to me while I drove around - pressing his cute little puppy dog face to the window and charming passerbys. I also thought about carrying him around (yes - I admit it - I did) in a little carry bag - where he would peek his little puppy nose out of from time to time and then cuddle back in the bag (designer of course) where he would remain - quiet - until I decided to take him out. The best dreams I had about Jackson were the ones in my bed - where he would cuddle next to me and sleep under the covers and his soft puppy fur would warm my body (or at least 5 inches of a thigh…) and we would wake up in the morning and eat breakfast together over the morning paper. Ok - that last part was exaggerated. I really did believe the other parts though.

Jackson is nothing like this.

Granted he is still a baby. And his brain is probably the size of a pea (says the good “doc”) - but man… I had NO idea parenthood would be so challenging. I really did not. So when Jackson decided at 15 weeks to refuse sleep until he had his daily and nightly romps around the house - living room - etc. I felt unprepared. I placed him in his crate at the foot of my bed like I always do - and he started the most horrible whining I have ever heard. At first I ignored it. He had already peed, he had had his treats, his dinner, his wine, etc. There was no reason for the crying and carrying around that he was doing. But he was persistant - and finally I had to let him out - which I guess only further trained him into believing that if he wailed enough Momma would let him out and he could have the run of the house.

I don’t think it was his dramatic thrashing and crying in his crate that made me do it. The spoiling came much earlier. There were the clothes - and the food (I bought at least 3 different kinds of kibble before deciding on the one I would use!) and then there were the snacks. Jackson has taken over the coffee table. The coffee table has these 6 compartments that hold 12 baskets (6 on each side of the table… get it?) and Jackson has taken over 1/2 of the table (the 1/2 that faces the couch.) It’s out of control. His clothes fill one basket. His shampoo and conditioner (because I didn’t know what kind to buy - I basically bought every kind the store carried) are in another. Then his grooming supplies (nail clippers, detangler spray, and about 3 different brushes/slickers/combs) are in another basket. He has plastic toys (another basket) and then there are his snacks (still another basket), his leashes fill another (blue and red collars complete with leads) and the final basket is just filled with extra stuff that doesn’t go anywhere else. I think his dog charms for his collar are in that basket along with a few other trinkets. It doesn’t sound too bad, does it?

that’s because I haven’t gotten to the other containers in the house that house Jackson shit. Like the basket in the corner of the living room that has every toy imaginable. You thought the toys were in the basket in the coffee table? Oh no. Those toys are PLASTIC squeak toys - the toys in the basket in the corner of the living room are his rope toys, his plush toys (like his gf Mrs. Zebra) and the balls he plays with. Yeah - I needed a separate basket for those. Even though Jackson sleeps in a crate at the foot of my bed - he also has a crate that he eats and travels in. Well, he’s suppose to travel in it while in my car, that was until I bought a car seat specially for him - which he also (surprise surprise) hates. Then there is the soft carry crate that he hates - but unfortunately he didn’t tell me that before I bought that one. Then there is the carry bag that now serves as his “diaper” bag - you know - the bag I put all his little things in when we go traveling and that I carry with me in the car in case we are stuck in it for a week or something and can’t get to civilization. There is a tiny water bottle in that diaper bag, along with 7 days worth of food, toys, a bone or two, a pee pad, and a few other items. Oh - and Jackson also has 2 beds. One in his little kitchen pen (consisting of two babygates that I also purchased) - and then another bed in the living room - JUST IN CASE he gets tired and wants to rest there. As If.

I am mentioning this knowing that I have a problem. I know that I have to admit to the problem (and that I am powerless over spoiling a 3 lb dog) before true healing can take place. I am now going cold turkey. Jackson has every treat he needs and I don’t need to get him any more. But you can, if you wish. He also has every toy he could possibly need to chew, hump, and attempt to eat - but if you wish you can buy him more. He also has enough beds, crates, and blankets - but again… I will not be purchasing one more book, one more toy, one more treat, one more anything for that doggy for the next month. Enough is enough (is enough.) I can’t go on like this much longer. I will be in debt because of him - and there are other things I could be spending my money on. But again…if YOU want to spoil him … go right ahead. He won’t stop you - he sure as hell didn’t stop me.

I wrote up a huge long post - it was huge.. .it was long… honest! And it went poof when I accidently hit a wrong key. It’s almost 11:40PM right now - and I have school tomorrow. I also have homework that I didn’t touch all weekend. I was busy on the phones - and I was napping and enjoying my life (to answer your question as to why I didn’t do my homework) and so what that means is that tomorrow I will be busy catching up. Once a procrastinator - always a procrastinator.

These posts seem to get longer too the more I wait to write in them. I have some things to talk about that will take a bit longer than just a few moments - wait - did that last thing I said even make a bit of sense?

So here is a preview of the things I’m going to talk about in the next few days - in case I forget tomorrow and get writer’s block once more: Vitality. It’s a treat that Jackson loves. Seriously delicious by the way he licks his chops. Anal Butt Ring Toss. I was told about this by someone in the forums. I looked it up cuz it’s actually a toy - and the feedback is worth a blog entry. Go google if you’re dying to know and can’t wait till the post. I guarantee it’s pretty damn entertaining! I also need to talk about my issues with spoiling my dog. I have a problem - I am admitting to it. Of course I need to also discuss the tremendous outpouring of love I got this weekend - and the date of all dates with the Tiffers. Can I say - while I’m on the subject of “dates” - that I am so thankful to have the type of relationship with Tiffy that allows me the freedom of dealing with my child - Jackson. I can not think of any other customer (ok - that’s not quite true - I can think of several others that would laugh, one that would tell me to drug my dog, and another that would quietly suggest another time. LOL!) that would laugh with me as Jackson howls away in his crate during the most crucial of times with out completely losing it. Thanks Tiffy for finding the humor in all of that and helping me to see it, too. I guess Jackson isn’t the only one who is spoiled, huh? *wink*

I have so many things to say now that I risk another novel - but I will promise to break it up into bitesize morsels. I need to prioritize my entries I suppose.

Oooh - a few of my callers have birthdays this month. I am trying to figure out a few things to do for bdays - but I haven’t really thought of anything really cool. I think that my idea of a bday gift may not be what others think of as a gift - and vice versa. Until I know for sure though - here’s to M. (you know who you are!):

I had first started NF - and received a call from a man who had the most gentle of voices I had heard. From the first time we spoke it was clear that we really didn’t have to say much of anything. We would murmur little sweet nothings in each other’s ears and be content with the minutes we had together. Most of our communication came way of email or myspace or little notes sent back and forth. He also gave me a link to his blog - which I never told him - but I was honored. It is expected, you know - that I share my life like some open book I feel - but I am completely floored when my callers want to share themselves with me. I soaked up everything in his journal - I laughed at his little stories about the other side of the teacher’s desk - and admired his discipline when it came to writing. M. is a true artist - a completely sweet individual and a talented and gifted performer/actor. He is a gem of a human being, too. He has showered me with patience, understanding, and phone calls - even when it was difficult for him to do so due to other responsibilities in his life. He’s been a great friend to me - since the very beginning of CeCe on NF - and I wish for him a very very Happy Birthday. I’m sorry I’m a bit late on the wish. Hope the well wishes brighten your day.

I’ll write more later … have a great evening and see you tomorrow.