I have been so busy lately … I apologize for not staying on top of certain things. If it makes you feel better - I’ve been on the bottom all the way around. School work, House work, Laundry, Thank you notes, Wish list, Birthday announcements (yes - My bday is on the 24th of this month… presents are appreciated but not required) - etc. And then I looked at the calender and realized that Christmas is around the corner, too. How the hell did that happen? Maybe not so surprisingly enough - the only thing I seem to be “on top of” is Jackson’s training schedule.

I picked up some really horrible flu this past week. The flu left me with about a tablespoon of energy and about as much concentration. There was only one thing for me to do. I grabbed Jackson, a blanket, and the remote - and watched a 6 hour dvd special on the history of Broadway. I missed my calling. I shoulda been born a gay male dancer with a fabulous tenor voice. I know that’s probably a bit of unfair stereotyping there - but I think I’d have a much better chance on broadway if I were a tenor. Ok ok - a baritone.

This wonderous dvd special - courtesy of the original puppy before THE puppy Jackson was absolutely a godsend. Fosse, Chicago, Rent, Wicked, Chorus Line, ummm… Sweeny Todd (how horrible that musical is - and how absolutely SCARY! I MUST see it!!) West Side Story - and more! And the very best part? It was hosted by THE goddess of all Goddesses - Julia F’inAndrews!!! I suddenly felt life being returned to my limp body. As my feet started to dance along with the Jets in West Side Story this post came to mind. Music always has a way of transporting me back to reality somehow. Ok - I know that sounded really silly - talking about West Side Story and “reality” in the same sentence. I am well aware that the gangs in LA aren’t talking about “having their way - to niiiightttt” or some guy calling CeCe through the streets of some quaint Southern California suburb or whatever. I also know that most people don’t break out in song during crucial moments of their lives (though I can’t understand why they don’t!) - but musicals have always energized me somehow. They make things better. And musicals with great songs like “For Good” and “Glory” and “Seasons of Love” and even the corny “Climb Every Mountain”… well … if I’m lost and flailing about and overwhelmed…these musicals always bring me back to some pleasant day/time/feeling/situation or whatever.

So after the PBS church experience - I broke out my math homework and plotted points and solved for x and y in straight line inear expressions or whatever the fuck I’m doing in that class now. And you know what? I’m over it. I’m seriously over it. I’m over school. I’m over even trying to motivate myself to go. And I don’t think it’s because I’m depressed - I just … I just don’t want to do it. And I know that I should push myself to do things that I don’t necessarily like because life is hard and part of growing up is doing things you don’t necessarily like and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah times a trillion million - but GOD DANG. I hate that shit. It feels like such a damn waste of time. Would I feel that way if I were taking a class in let’s say - writing or something? I don’t know. Am I willing to try it out for a semester? I don’t know yet. But I’m tired of Math. Just thought I’d say that. I really don’t care what x and y are.

So anyways - the title of this post? I broke out the ipod the other day and listened to Cassandra Wilson’s version of Cyndi Lauper’s classic Time After Time. Cassandra sings it so eloquently - so dark and deep like thick fudge that is just starting to cool and harden. Her voice just wraps around you and that song is just so beautiful anyways. The song seems to echo the type of friendships I’ve learned to treasure. It comes so easily - slowly and deliberately, you know? Pretty soon you’re wrapped up in lovely tones and voices. Everything is just as it should be. And you wondered why it took you so long to listen.

No promises, ok? But I’ll try to write more often. I really will try.