It’s around 11:00PM and I’m going to sign in for a few hours. We’ll see how tonight goes. I have a little bit of a temperature and my chest is tight (and not in a good way) so we’ll see how tonight lasts. I’ll have a special gift for you if I have to bail earlier than anticipated. Hopefully you’ll understand.

Talk with you soon…

So some of you may recall my other post about clutter. It’s kind of scary that it was almost a year ago that I wrote about it, isn’t it? Now that I think about it … I think I may be going through another maniac period. I think I am maniac depressive. lol. Seriously. What else would explain my sudden burst of energy with only a few hours of actual sleep? I have to be crazy, right?

But anyways - back to this clutter thing because it is the CLUTTER that kept me up so late - honest. If it weren’t for the clutter that is permanently attached (apparently) to my ass - I would be asleep right now after reading all about my little genes and diploids and protein synthesis. But instead - here I am … writing (yet again) about clutter.

So let me start from the beginning. 2 days ago Oprah had on her show the ultimate pack rat ever known to man. This little lady had a 5 bedroom, 3 story, 2 car garage house - a total of 3200 sq feet. The clutter that they removed from her house (75 tons) was able to fill a 10,000 sq ft storage unit. I can not even tell you how many pairs of shoes this woman had - how many bags - how many “gifts” that she couldn’t even find to wrap with the hundreds of rolls of wrapping paper that she hoarded in her home. There were little pathways around the house that she could walk on - and her husband (God Bless Him) was not even able to sleep in the master bedroom with her due to all of the stuff. Her adult children finally intervened and filmed the disgusting mess and sent it to Oprah who quickly sent out Peter Walsh (remember one of my brain crushes from last year?) who, with a team of about 100 people, came to the rescue.
This “Clean Sweep” took 2 days to complete by the way … first the emptying of the house then another full day to clean out the mice nests, black mold and other biohazards and rebuild new walls, and flooring for most of the house.) By the time that the show had ended ( and the lady was all crying and claiming that she was cured from her Compulsive Hoarding Disorder), I had serious hebejeebes about my own clutter. I was sure - absolutely positive that in my own bedroom there were mice, black mold and other things behind all the stuff. And I don’t have a lot of stuff - honest. I just have the typical American “stuff” that liters my life and that occasionally I tackle and throw out or give a pile away to Good Will. But after that show - I knew that I had to do something about my own mess. So I started to clean. I cleaned out every single drawer in my dresser - throwing away all those little “well - maybe one day I’ll wear this again” items. I rummaged through boxes of all that “software” that came with the Windows 98 computer that you no longer have - but …who knows … ONE day you just might need it when Vista takes over the world and you rebuild your old system. I even went through Jackson’s clothes - because - let’s face it CeCe - you’re not getting another little puppy any time soon so those cute little puppy baby clothes can go too. And then there were the little containers filled with all that hair stuff that one day you just might need - but one day never comes. Except for THIS day - and all those little items found their way to the trash as well. With each item I threw away or gave away I felt the mold dissipating. I didn’t come across any mice and nothing crawled out and said hello. Not that my room was that cluttered, you understand - but there is something really fucked up about watching some woman in a home with 150,000 pounds of shit. It does something to you. It did something to me. And I wasted no time in taking action. I refuse to grow up into that little old lady down the street whose house smells like cat pee that no one sees for 13 years. Hey…every town has one.

So… I’m almost completely finished with my clutter be gone mission 2008. I am pretty sure I’ll go through this again in 2009 - but I hope that it won’t be so extensive. I have to go through my wish list because there are clutter traps hidden behind some of my wants and desires. Of course - many of the things I want isn’t really “stuff” is it? Books, Videos, that type of thing I really DO want to surround myself with. And there is something to be said about “entertainment”, however, I have some makeup on there that honestly - I don’t need yet. I still am using a lot of the makeup that I have received and I don’t wear make up all that often. I also have some perfume on my list - and you know what? I don’t wear it. I wear ONE fragrance for special occasions (Heavenly) but I “want” other perfumes. Why? I have lotions and things like that - and I already have plenty right now. When I finish some I will put up another one - but nothing like that is coming into my home with out me first getting rid of something to make room. And Jackson will suffer, too, unfortunately. He has 50 bajillion toys right now - that I haven’t exactly gone through to see if they are still usable - but I went through a period where every week I had to buy him another squeaker toy. And he still prefers my socks. Go figure. (and so does SBJ I hear…) So I have to clear that up, too. So for now - books, movies - dvds - and music are still perfectly great gifts to give me. In a few days I will have weeded out the other things on my list and left only the things that will TRULY delight me and not things that I think I “should” own because of some fucked up American Ideal - you know what I mean?

So - that is what I did today. I dealt with my own personal detritus. I did some spring cleaning - some purging of my own. Thanks Oprah and Peter Walsh.

So … here is a challenge that Peter Walsh says that we should take (those of us who have those “junk drawers/closets/rooms/houses/wherehouses”, etc.) : Every day go through your home/room/closet/etc. with 2 bags in your hand (garbage bags) - Fill one up with all of the “garbage” - and fill the other one up with stuff to go to Good Will. In no time at all (unless you are like the friend of ours on Oprah with 150,000 pounds of crap) you will have cleaned away all that clutter. You will be able to breathe better, you’ll be able to display all those things that are important to you and have true value in your life, and you will be taking a stand against this thing called materialism that drives pretty much every single one of us. I swear I’m so fuckin’ inspired that I want to go around the entire state with my garbage bags to help everyone out!

I better go to bed - but thanks to all of the calls today - to Rolf for the gift certificates so that I could buy a few of my favorite books - and to SBJ for the gift that is soon arriving I hear. I have PLENTY…I really do. Thank you all so much for helping me to surround myself with things that matter, giving me courage to rid myself of useless things all while encouraging me to reach for things of value.

Remember tomorrow there will be a power outage where I live and I will not be logging in after 8:00PM. I think I will probably log in for a bit during the afternoon and then for the rest of the evening I will be speaking to a few special close friends of mine (in the dark) and reading a chapter or two in one of my many books I’m longing to read (by candlelight.) Speak soon!

**edited @ 8:31PM 3/27/08 - Apparently the notice said AM and not PM - so I am currently on for a bit reading some poli sci and drawing some mitosis and meiosis models. You should see my Protein Synthesis drawing. It’s TRULY amazing. I may have to scan it on in so you can be as impressed as I am! *wink* /end edit**

Warning:
You may not want to listen to this if you’ve recently ate - or if you have a weak stomach… *wink*
Enjoy!

enjoy!

I know I probably should be writing about something like school - or my no smoking (3 weeks - thank you VERY much!) - but all that is coming to mind is Atticus. My newest brain crush.

As many of you know - I’ve been trying to watch To Kill A Mockingbird now for the past … I dunno - YEAR? I finally sat down and watched it the other night (it was a hard decision - A movie - or haploids, mitosis, meiosis, etc. But I FINALLY made a decision and buckled in and went for it!) What a lovely movie that was. And what an absolutely adoring father Atticus was. He was just so gentle and kind and strong and … wise. He is definitely the kind of father every father should strive to be. So yeah - brain crush and then some. Not to mention - Gregory Peck. Holy cow was that guy hot! He was so hot I couldn’t even fantasize about him. I know that sounds really strange - but - there it is. I use to think that Michael Landon was hot too - and could never have a fantasy about him, either. I would watch Little House on the Prairie and honestly just want to be Laura and curl up in his lap in a very innocent non sexually deviant way. I have those moments…that’s why you all love me.

I know it’s been like forever since I’ve written anything in here. Thankfully you’re all very understanding and you know that I have very good reasons - but it doesn’t make me feel any better that I’ve somehow neglected this blog. It’s deeper than that, though. I haven’t written anything lately - nothing in my journal, nothing on scraps of paper, nothing at all. And I’ve somehow been okay with that. I miss writing, but I don’t miss the - struggle. Writing to me is like - Gregory Peck and Michael Landon and all the other brain crushes I’ve ever had: It’s so perfect that sometimes I feel better leaving it alone and not tainting it with bullshit. We’ve all been down this road with CeCe before - but there it is.

My family is still in town and they are scheduled to leave soon. That should free up a bit of time - but school is still kicking my tender ass from one side of the state to the other. My biology teacher likes me now - and I’m pulling a rather disappointing C+ in biology right now - inches away from the B+ I would long to have but feel a sort of ambivalence to achieve. I have her figured out though. I had a feeling we would have a quiz today and we did. She is encouraging though, handing me back my tests and quizzes with notes on them like “Keep up the good work, CeCe - you’re improving” and all that other kind of stuff that typically propels me forward to get that A just to prove my worthiness. And Biology isn’t all that boring right now. For instance, did you know that as soon as the earth began to cool - and water appeared - there was life? Just like that. Reminds me of this story my father told me after reading the paper a few months back. Apparently there was a river - pretty big river - that was filled to the rim with fish and life and … well whatever else lives in rivers. This river suddenly dried up. Life around the river just died - along with everything in it. The big environmentalist people were concerned and knew that they needed to bring the river back. The scientists predicted that it would take years before life returned to the river and the surrounding area. They slowly filled the river back up again and with in months - not years - but a few mere months - BAM! Life. Birds and fish, and plants and flowers and animals - in abundance. So - yeah. I find that all very interesting and very … symbolic. I can get into that sort of biology.

So Atticus is my irrigation. Ok, ok - literature is my irrigation. I guess I need to do a bit more reading/watching and those types of things will literally wash over me and bring me back to life again. My writing coach told me that I need to write for at least 2 hours every day. It should be my “job” he said. I should just sit down and do it - and there should be no alternative. I worry about silly things - like what I will say - or what will come out of my head - or whether or not anything I write will make much sense and whether or not I should print any of it here - but I guess all that worrying does is prevent me from doing anything at all. So - I will try to write more and “worry” less. Words, after all, are my water.

It’s 10 minutes till Tuesday and I haven’t even started my podcast for the day. I’m banking on doing it tomorrow but I hate to make promises. You know how I get. What I will say is that thanks to “Mr. d” - I have a question for the podcast - and thanks to Atticus I have a topic, and thanks to my callers I have some feedback to share - and thanks to some super sweet and generous callers and friends I have some gifts to brag about that have recently made their way to my wish list’s “purchased” list.

Take care - and talk to you tomorrow…