As many of my readers know (well – long term readers…) I have smoked off and on for the better part of … well – a year or so. (that’s the story I tell my parents and I’m sticking to that, k?) and about a year ago I went on the patch to stop smoking. Well – I started again after just a few weeks. So – I’ve grown tired of the little hints that my family throws my way about how nasty smoking is and how horrible it is for you and blah blah blah. Oh – and I also read a little chapter on free radicals in biology and happen to know that … well – smoking breeds those little bastards. So I officially went BACK ON the patch today. (waits for the applause to die down.) Yup – all smoking calls will be purely role playing for me from now on, boys. It’s true. I want to be free radical free – and also would enjoy talking through my mouth and not a tube thingee in my neck. I also realized that no matter how bad biology sucks at the moment – I still think I would rather enjoy living a while longer. I’m sure things will get better. So there we have it. It’s official.

For those of you who are fortunate enough to never have picked up the rather nasty habit of smoking (which I am not ashamed to say still appeals to me in a sick, twisted, demented sort of way) – let me explain a few things. The patch takes care of the nicotine part of things. I get a constant rush of nicotine for at least 2 more months. The amount gets lower and lower as the weeks go by – but the nicotine is still in my system thanks to a rather fashion forward clear sticky patch on my left shoulder blade. However (BIG COMMA INSERTED HERE____), the habit of having something in my mouth – something in my fingers – inhaling – blowing out and the whole damn ritual … is quite another cross to bear. What the hell was going to go in my mouth now? What was I going to do with my fingers? How was I going to have those moments away from it all – where I could totally take in nature and fresh (*cough*) air? I know I know! I would go to the DOGGY PARK! So off Jackson and I went – with my mom in tow – to discover the world of doggy parks.

This particular doggy park has 2 areas. The small dog area (ankle biters) and the big dog area (where the MEN hang out and compare their dogs to the others in the area.) Jackson and I went through door #1. Jackson cowardly hid behind me for about the first 5 minutes – and then sniffed a few of the dogs butts (“Hey! I’m Jack … who are you and where do you live?”) and politely allowed others to do the same (“Nice to meet you, Misty – I’m Jack and my person and I live on the other side of town!”) and then he was off. My little man ran – and barked – and ran some more. I laughed as I saw his fur flying away from his face – his mouth open in some lop sided grin – while 2 smaller dogs nipped at his heels. For about an hour I played and ran after – and enjoyed him enjoy his freedom and never once did I think to myself “I wish I had a smoke” – or want to trade the time with him and my mother with time alone out back puffing away another 4 dollars and 75 cents. The Doggy Park will see me often. Jackson napped for about 3 hours afterwards – and I discovered something that we both could do together that didn’t endanger (well – so far) each other’s health and well being.

In the evening, when I normally log in to take some calls – I was invited to watch a scary movie with three 13 year olds. I could not pass them up – and so the 4 of us cuddled up on my aunt and uncle’s bed and watched Disturbia. We ate icecream, screamed at sounds coming from the attic (still have no idea what the hell is up there but I sure as hell am NOT going to investigate!), and held each other’s hands through the scary parts. Soon it was 11:00PM – and my first day of not smoking was nearly behind me. So I signed in about 2 hours ago. I apologize.

So for anyone who smokes and is looking to stop – you may join me and Tiffy in our support group. It’s not as much fun as the doggy park – but it will do your spirit and your body good, I believe. Thanks, Tiffy, by the way, for joining in the struggle with me. I don’t think I would be able to do this with out you. (hands Tiffy a red vine licorice stick) << They really do work. Honest.

I’m exhausted and Jackson is out like a light. I think I’ll join him. Not on the floor of course – but tucked inside of my bed. Warm – safe – with a nice clear sticky thing on my back – promising many more adventures, many more days – and many more challenges I’m sure to overcome.