Comment by SBJ

April 8, 2008 @ 5:01 am

CeCe; a picnic table? A PICNIC TABLE??????????? There are so many ways that can go wrong it’s not worth discussion. Seriously, we are talking permanent damage, forget the police and nosey neighbor. You have the best / most interesting topics in your podcasts, thanks for doing the research and keeping us all abreast of current events.
I owe you a profuse “thanks”, I really do. Your website came to life for me tonight. You know I was dead on my feet while I was talking to you and I finally had to crash and burn. All I can say is now I understand Lethal Weapon II better. Remember when the SA Ambassador is pissed at the guy for losing all his gold and is bitching him out on the drop cloth before he shoots him? Well, the drop cloth would have been a great idea. When I woke up, I had cleanup duty and that hasn’t been a problem since I was 14. What did you do to me? All I remember of my dream is you in a yellow bikini, impossibly small, the ocean, a beach, and the hottest, steamiest sex of my life. Thank God I was alone, there was no way I could have BS’d my way out of this if the wife had been next to me. Minx, you are ruining me and I love it. (I will be looking for drop cloths today, just in self-defense) You are so far above and beyond anything or anyone I have ever known, I lack the vocabulary to properly describe it. I am not going to rape a picnic table, I don’t care how bad (or hard) it gets, but you do drive me way past anywhere I have ever been before. You are in a class by yourself, no others need apply. Love, SBJ

Comment by Tiffy

April 9, 2008 @ 5:38 pm

Well it’s obvious to the PROFESSIONAL PERV that you erect a tent over the damned table or drag it inside. ::shrug:: I can’t recall if he had a wife and kids, if so he should probably be put on a suicide watch. Anyway once you go pine, it’s simply divine!

I contest your second ‘rule’ - only a GIRL would think that a penis was anyone’s friend. That thing has go me in more trouble more times than I care to count. “Really, it’s a GOOD IDEA” ::sigh:: But do I stop listening? NO.

When I worked in a hospital we had a guy (come on ladies cowboy up here - it’s ALWAYS a guy - women, so prudish) come in with a cucumber jammed so far up his large intestine it reached the first big ‘bend’ - he had to have used a broom handle or something, I don’t want to consider his ‘partner’s’ arm, male or female. Had to be surgically removed. We were all standing in the hallway looking at the x-ray - impressive!

Here’s a ‘rule’ for ya CeCe: There are NO SECRETS in a hospital. None, NADA. Just bite the bullet and get on with it. Does the candy striper know of your dark cucumber love? Yep. The florist? Undoubtedly. The cafeteria crew? Of course. Just deal, they’re professionals and oh-so discrete.

I never heard his back-story (lmao), I’ve frequently tried to write my own. I can never get it plausible. You wanna give it a whirl?

Comment by CeCe

April 10, 2008 @ 4:29 pm

LOL, Scott! Yes - so many things could go wrong. Consider my podcast a sort of public service announcement. People who listen can never say they have not been warned! *wink*

I absolutely love that you enjoy my podcasts - I really have a great time finding material to comment on - and due to my rather sick sense of humor - I love giving these stories a little “spin” of my own. I envy people who get the pleasure of writing about these stories/events as they happen. I wouldn’t really mind doing research on the picnic table thing, for instance. I’d interview the picnic table too while I was at it.

CeCe: So - how long did you know Art?
Picnic Table: We had seen each other for a while - and we both agreed that we should take our relationship to the next level.
CeCe: The next level?
Picnic Table: Well, yeah. At first he would just sort of rub himself on the underside of me while eating - and later he would cum on me - it just seemed the next step that we fuck.
CeCe: So it was a mutual thing then?
Picnic Table: Certainly. Yes.
CeCe: Is there anything you would like to say to Art?
Picnic Table: Yes. I would like to tell him that I miss him. I’ve been trying to satisfy myself with the garden hose - but it’s hardly the same thing.

Etc. Etc.

Oh - and about the “dream” you had - aren’t you getting too old for that my darling?

CeCe

Comment by CeCe

April 10, 2008 @ 4:38 pm

Tiffy -

Yes - he had a wife and 3 children. And I agree that a tent over the table (the umbrella would do fine - unless that was the hole he used? the one that the umbrella was screwed into? (need to do some research on this… ) I imagined him kinda throwing a big blanket over him and going to town - but apparently that got in the way or something? I just hope to God he did some cleaning up after he was done. That would be really gross. Did his wife give him the ultimate ultimatum afterwards? “It’s either me or that picnic table!!” That would have been hilarious to listen in on. Man! I love it!

It’s not ALWAYS the guy- Tiffy. Last episode was about a woman who got physically stuck to a toilet seat, remember? lol! Of course the guy was feeding her while on the toilet and was the one who was charged with a crime - but still - the woman had to go to the emergency room to have a toilet seat surgically removed from her ass for crying out loud! And I remember a story (don’t know if it was real or not) of a woman who sat on her stick shift of her car and got stuck. Was that fake and just an urban myth I wonder? Can’t imagine that big nob of a thing going in - but then again a baby’s head comes out of it so anything is possible I guess. I’m going to do a bit of research though for you and see if I can find any stories of women who get objects stuck in their vaginas. Weird objects. I just hope there aren’t pictures. I’m getting cramps just thinking about it. I once had a little episode with a marble …. I’ll tell you about it the next time we talk.

I’m jealous that you got to work in a hospital and see that cucumber. I would have been grossed out - but I sure would have been looking. You don’t get the chance to see things like that every day!

I will remember that rule though - it’s a good one. Especially since I live in California - not far from UCLA Hospital - which apparently has staff around that take pictures of their own to back up the stories. Poor Britney. *laughing*

xoxox by the ton Tiffers…

CeCe