So, who the hell do I think I am? I disappear off the face of the blog-o-phere for a little over a month and then just waltz on in like nothing is wrong. The nerve, eh? I can’t really speak for three of the four weeks of my disappearance. Come to think of it, I can. I was busy trying to find an excuse for where I’ve been. At first it was just an excuse for one day, but then led to twenty-one days. Yep. That’s where I was for twenty-one of the thirty or so days of my disappearance. What about the other seven? Like you had to ask! For the past seven days I have been sucked into the black hole some like to call The Olympics. Now some of you know exactly what I’m talking about because I haven’t seen many of you for a very long time either! I catch a few of your sleep deprived asses at the 24 hour grocery, loading up on the groceries after realizing one can not live on pancakes alone. Others I’ve beeped my horn at a few times after you’ve fallen asleep at various stop lights around town. Others of you have taken breaks in your Olympic viewing to give me a quick call, probably while the really interesting sports like Badminton are on. You certainly won’t be calling me up during Rhythmic Gymnastics or the ever popular sport, Synchronized Swimming, especially that team from Spain. Gotta love what batteries can do now a days, huh?

I tried to resist this whole Nationalist Patriotic Laughable Display Of Camaraderie. Sorry. It’s true. I never got into the whole cheerleader thing unless it was accompanied by an older male teacher-coach who, for special favors, elevated a not so talented Cheerleader to Head Bitch after a few exchanges after Cheer leading practice. I never was one to cheer for the home team until I was hoarse, and I didn’t like the whole sitting in the bleachers while the home football team clobbered an unfortunate team from the school down the street. I like sports alright, I’m just not an enthusiast. I was on the gymnastics team for too many years, as well as the dance team and the whole competitive stuff wore me out. I also did the whole debate team, music competitions and speech competitions, too. I liked all that stuff - emphasis on the word liked. Now I just get bored. Or so I thought.

One evening it happened. I walked into a room and the Olympic theme was playing. The fanfare of the trumpets called out to me, but I was strong and I kept on walking. I turned my head and the heat of the competition lured me in. I stopped in my tracks, watching the woman’s Volleyball. Wow. They were kicking some major ass. I felt the sand whip into my face as the opponents smashed the ball, forcing our sweet innocent ladies to dig into the sand, their bathing suit bottoms sliding painfully up their taunt asses. I screamed at the nerve of the opposing team, then while humming I’m Proud To Be An American, sat down on the couch forgetting all prior obligations. I had stepped too close to the black hole and I had as a result been sucked into its depths. I sat in the belly of that black beast until 2:00AM, vowing to myself to never get so close again.

I understand. I completely understand your pain. Some of you have been in the belly of that beast for a long time. You have bought stock in Visine, know exactly how many extra shots you need at Starbucks in order to make it through the day, and your wife, kids, dog, cat, or all of the above, have taken to the minute intervals of attention you can spare while the commercials play between the events. I am not here to judge you. I am here to offer you … absolution. In turn, perhaps you can forgive me for at least this past week. Deal?

The good news (at least for me) is that the Olympics are over on Sunday. We can all count how many medals we got (including those that we REALLY earned from the Chinese Gymnasts because we all know they are really only 11 years old!), pat ourselves on the back for being the biggest, toughest, strongest and almost the fastest (those Jamaicans… that’s right man!) people on the whole big Earth and focus on what is really important here in America: The Presidential Race and who is the biggest pop star.

School is about ready to start, I’m working on a masterpiece book, I’m still smoke free and walking every day (so I’m healthy and happy!), and I’m finally at long last feeling more like myself than before the operation. Kidding. Just sounded like a good sentence at the time. I really am feeling more like me though, just not because of any operation. It’s the drugs - definitely.

Enough of the jokes - quick thank you’s. And you know it’s been WAY too long you guys - so I may come back and edit this! I just wanted to thank some of you who didn’t forget about me even though I hadn’t written in this blog in a while.

Man Mountain, Cattekin, iluv69, Doug, Joe, Mark M, muzzle, Tiffy, and SBJ: Thank you ALL for the very generous tips!! (and for the subscription, Doug!!, the bracelet Mark, and the gifts D-train!) They were so unexpected and so very appreciated. Thank you so so so so much!

Chris, Zevon, Cattekin, CHburr, GreenLantern, ManMountain, Joe, redyder, stroker, Joe, iluv69, nothingbetterthanthis, bigdicforu, eminencefront, Danno, susieblue, sploosh, Tiffy, viewfromhere, britampa, jimbob, Tuls LagidorP EhT, Your phone number an, parkersan, bigmike23, whiteboots, SubbieMike, sinfully yrs, Allenawesome, drQ99, and Tomcat1066: Thank you all for your written positive feedback. Again, I know you didn’t have to - but you took the time to write a few words of praise and thanks and I really, really appreciate your generosity! Thank you a million times and then a million more!

That’s all I got for you tonight. I’m on and taking a few calls and hopefully I’ll be able to stay up for a bit. I had a late night last night, got up early and went to a block party this evening. All that sun, fun, pool, and pasta salad makes for a very sleepy CeCe - but I’m up for at least a few more hours!

Talk to you soon!