Saturday, August 30, 2008 @ 2:15 am

Boys have penis’, Girls have vaginas

And opinions have assholes. Oh, fine, Opinions ARE LIKE assholes. It just sounded better the way I put it, didn’t it?

Translation: Please don’t call me up and ask me jack shit about politics, religion, or money. I guess those are the smoking guns of conversations. There are a few exceptions to the rule, and I’m embarrassed to state one of the reasons, but for the sake of a post – let me just put it all out on the line. The exceptions are this:

  1. If you really want to hear about my opinion on any of the aforementioned topics, please go ahead and ask me. It’s your dime. We can talk about abortion, the pope, ANDDDD McCain’s new running mate all nite for $1.87/minute. No problemo.
  2. If you know me like the back of your hand, work for a certain politicians campaign (looks at RockStarBadAss and wonders how he’s doing…you have your work cut out for you, sweets. Make ‘mama’ proud!!) and want to dish about certain speeches, commercials and the like, then we can talk because we’re not going to argue. We can talk about abortion, the pope, ANNNNNNDDD McCain’s new running mate (who just looks like a woman who would have kinky F’n sex with her hubby, don’t she? That little Miriam Librarian Act doesn’t fool me for one minute! God Bless her kinky schoolmarm ass) all nite for, once again, $1.87/minute. No problemo. Hey, even I like to talk to people who think the same way I do, therefore making me feel that much better for my opinions. Sure, it’s nice to hear differing opinions but only so you can laugh hysterically at how absolutely fucked up “they” are for thinking the way “they” do, right!? :)

Any Questions? Good. Next topic of conversation.

I absolutely LOVE my English class. I love love love love it! I’m so jazzed with my teacher and I’m even happier that he has us keeping a journal for the class. Part of our grade will depend on our journal entries. Disappointingly I am unable to use these diary entries as that type of homework. I can’t even think of having him call up this line and doing a fantasy with him. How funny is that? Reminds me of another “brain” crush I had with someone a while ago (my very first ever brain crush, actually) and I felt the same way about him. There are those crushes that just make you kinda creeped out when you think of having sex with them. I don’t know how to explain it. I just wanna fuck his mind, I have no desire to fuck him like intercourse fuck him. Eeew. I’m pretty sure he’s gay anyway. I couldn’t even think to watching him fuck anyone else – it’s like our relationship has become sacred in less than 24 hours and I won’t allow even my kinky mind to soil it. *shrugs* I never said I was easy to understand. So anyway, as I was saying, my brain crush assigns writing exercises. He calls them “Free Writes” (nudge nudge Frisco!) and gives us 10 minutes to do them. Today I wrote about Pet Peeves. I wasn’t planning on sharing it – but I’m going to. So you know how my mind works and you will learn to revere it. Haha. Seriously kidding. You may run and hide. Or you’ll be highly entertained which is much more likely.

Keep in mind that these little exercises don’t really “care” about punctuation, spelling, or anything like that. So I am going to try to duplicate the writing exercise the way it is written in my journal. Here it goes:

I have several pet peeves. A lot of them. and honestly I do have A.D.D., so having a lot of choices really freaks me out. Freaks me out in that I don’t know what to focus on and so my mind just spins around and around out of control (where it stops? nobody knows). But I’m on medication so let me just focus for a moment. Ok. Pet peeve #1: I absolutely hate the fact that my family can not pick up after themselves. Ever. They leave all kinds of stuff laying (learned the proper use of that word today!) around. I can tell exactly how it happens, too:

They got up in the morning – probably late. They made toast – left the bread bag open. Put butter on the toast – left the butter out. Thought to themselves that Jam must sound good – dipped the knife into the jam haphazardly, spread it on their toast – oh, opps, some of it got on the counter – oh wait, I’ll make some eggs. I want some milk. I’m so late. And two hours later when I emerge from my haven of sleep and perfect order, BAMMMM!!! Their shit hits me in the face.

For next week I need to write another exercise. I’ll let you know how that goes and I may post it. I may not. This could get pretty intimate. Much more intimate than knowing who I plan on voting for and how I feel about gun control, Iraq, or even abortion. ‘Cause um – while all these things always mean so much at the time, they seriously aren’t as important to me as just what type of person you are and how you treat the people you love and how you demonstrate that you care about them. Fuck a “Party” – who are you? Seriously, who ARE you? Oh, and do you pick up after yourself. I could love anyone as long as they just pick up after themselves. ;)

I’ll post my schedule some time this weekend. I’ll be up tonight for about 3 more hours hopefully. On Saturday I will be logged in during the late afternoon and again in the evening. Sunday we’ll play it by ear. Monday … um … haven’t thought ahead that far. I’ll keep you posted. Okay?

Talk soon.


3 Comments »

Comment by Tiffy

September 3, 2008 @ 4:48 pm

Oh you’re doing political calls now? Wow!

Can you do Michelle Obama whispering her love for Ronald Reagan and her abhorrence of gun control while she jacks me off in front of John Edward’s mistress?

Or maybe Sarah Palin as a naughty librarian catching poor Tiffy with outstanding book fines that MUST BE PAID to help balance the national debt.

You know what glasses on girls does for me.

Anyway, sign of the times. Political Phonesex, who knew? I know you’ll love it, probably about as much as those slobs you wrote about.

Comment by CeCe

October 3, 2008 @ 2:43 am

Shit – I just realized this was the first time I did a political post. I don’t think it should count, though, Tiffy. Do you? I didn’t really talk politics so much … not like today’s post. Was it bad? Should I take it all back? We’re still friends and you don’t agree with anything I say politically. lol. It can be done. Repubs and Demos together under the umbrella of sexual deprivation and lust! People UNITE! (with condoms provided by parents and not schools)

xoxo,
CeCe

Comment by Tiffy

October 3, 2008 @ 5:34 am

I’ll always be your friend CeCe even with your goofy leftist ways :-)

Now come here and give Tiffy some of that “free love” (at a buck eighty nine a minute) that you democrats are so ‘easy’ with.

GOD DAMN YOU CELINA, now I’m horny as hell at the thought of bending you over some table and not so gently screwing you will you taunt me with quotes from Chomsky, “If the Nuremberg laws were applied, then every post-war American president would have been hanged.” DEEPER Tiffy, DEEEEEPPPPPEERRRR.

Actually that sounds kinda fun lmao

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