I’m not sure how coherent this post will be. In the past 72 hours I have had a total of 12 hours of sleep. Maybe a bit less. As a result, I am a little bit loopy, quite chatty (in a drunk gonna pass out telling you naughty secrets about myself kind of way), and unpredictable. Consider yourself warned.

The story of my insomnia is a long one. There is always (lately) the potential for no rest. It just kinda lurks there (this potential) and when something comes along like let’s say … stress over a philosophy test, the potential becomes actual. Yeah. I’m learning a little bit about metaphysical stuff in philosophy. I don’t understand a lot of it, but I get quantum physic potential and actual potential, etc. … … kidding. As I was saying – the threat of no sleep is there, and I expect it will be for a bit of time, but pair that with a test to study for and I am assured that there will be no sleep for the weary. Cuz I’m studying. Not. Because I’m frantically pacing inside of my brain and avoiding my notes and the whole study process because I’m afraid when I look at it it will be overwhelming.

Words getting blurry. Lap top slipping off knee. Focus.

So I stayed up all night and procrastinated. I’m serious. I looked around the net. Answered a few posts on a board incorrectly because … well… I was high on no sleep, tried to figure out my podcast buttons so I could post my Equinox podcast. Yeah. I know what that is. Thank you Geography! When all my surfing was done, I started exploring Mackenzie the new MacBook. She’s still beautiful. *sigh* I found garage band, and (damn I need to update my Ilife before it expires. Shit!) while I was exploring in garage band, I discovered that I could design my own little songs by changing the instrumentation and stuff like that. My mic is connected to my PC (I totally dozed off right then. Did you miss me? lol) but if it wasn’t (and yeah – I know I can connect it…but blah . So much bother. ) if it wasn’t – I would totally be using garage band. Cool shit that is. Do you know there is a piano keyboard that you can play little tracks on and things, too? yeah. Seriously fun. 2 hours of fun as it turned out. Finally at about 4:30 in the morning I decided I could actually sleep for a bit (2 hours) before I had to get up and go to spin. But right before that epiphany I realized that I could/should copy my notes from my lectures because at least by writing them down I would remember something. . I woke up 3 hours later, got prepared for spin, took my notebook with me – read while warming up, did class and off to school I went. And yes, I go all sweaty for the most part. Fuck it. I don’t have time to shower. I just change out of my wet t-shirt in the car, reapply my deodorant and call it a day. Is this grossing all of you out to the point you won’t be calling me? LOL. I always shower before we talk (unless you ask me not to – and yeah – there are some that do. Cuz I’m delicious like that. *wink* ). So where was I? Oooh – so I go to class and my teach says, “don’t worry about the test – it’s not gonna matter if you get an A, and it’s not gonna matter if you get an F. It’s only 10 percent of your grade so just take it in and get use to my tests for next time.

Yeah.

And when I got my test – and tried to focus on the writing (my eyes are shot right now… ) I was shocked at how absolutely simple it was. Straight from our notes – straight about what the philosopher was saying and what his themes were and stuff like that. Simply an easy f’n test. An easy test that I basically put too hours avoiding – when I could have spent an hour and tackled the one thing that potentially causes my sleepless nights. I’m pretty sure I got a solid B on the test. There were a few questions I had totally forgotten about from lecture, which tells me that I need to take more notes in class, but not too many more. So when my teacher started talking about Aristotle – and how we all need goals to be happy. And we all need to aim for those goals in order to feel productive. And that these goals can only be judged as “good” if they are virtuous. And that there is some kind of mean there. The “just right” Virtuous, as my book describes it. Hence, Virtuous Mean.

So I’m gonna be good this weekend. I’m going to play a little, work a lot, and sort through some things. I may bring some things to Good Will (hey – does that count as community service I wonder? Yeah – filling out my apps for scholarships is totally on my list of things to do, too. But I’m gonna be virtuous. In honor of my favorite philosopher.

I’ll be logging in a little bit tomorrow when ever I wake up. I’d leave myself on alerts, but I really don’t think I’d hear the phone ring in a few minutes. Didn’t even need to take a pill to help me – feels like I’m going to go down very quickly. Look for me around 12-3:00pm probably. And then I have an appointment with a very kinky person who knows I have worked VERY hard today. I’ll be back on Saturday Evening. My parents should be gone for the better part of the evening so you’ll want to take full advantage of my ability to scream if I so desire and am so moved. They’ll be gone in the afternoon, too…

So I’ll talk to you later on today. Logging off now. Welcoming sleep. Finally…………