So before I get to my big realization — just a quick update to my schedule since I just realized I have a graduation to attend tomorrow afternoon. Sooo – I will not be available during the late morning this Thursday. I WILL be available at or around 3:00PM, but I will keep you posted. Keep in mind that this change to my schedule is just for tomorrow and will not be the norm.

My plan with this schedule is to work it religiously (and I’ve been really good so far, haven’t I? Even logging in a bit earlier than planned this evening, and staying a bit later both this afternoon and last night, too!) and then after a few weeks rethink things and maybe tweak hours as needed in order to ensure I’m working the best times for my customers. Thank you to those of you who put in your bids for times you’d like to see me on. I really do take that into account. There may be times that I don’t have the option of signing on for a full 2-3 hours, but may be able to log in for 30 minutes just for you, so your requests are not in vain. Let’s give this a whirl and see where we land, k?

So here is my realization. I realized a couple of things. One is with this new schedule and way of conducting my business. When I set aside time just to do business related things, then all of a sudden I’m ready to buckle in and have fun. My “work” doesn’t follow me into dinner time and school studying time and leisure time, etc. I feel fresh and renewed because I’m present and “with it”. It’s a really good thing. And what doesn’t get done during those hours, doesn’t get done during those hours. Maybe the following day I’ll adjust my schedule an hour to allow time to get caught up. But the secret I found is really setting aside the time and being kind to myself and as a result, I get to be good to you because I’m not frazzled and doing trillions of things at once. Just nod like you understand what I’m saying. lol!

Ok – the other realization has nothing to do with niteflirt. It happened a few nights ago. I was doing some research on this project I’m thinking about doing because I saw a need and I think that I need to fill that need. So I was checking on line to see what was available already and found myself looking through bumper stickers. Of course I ran to the Obama section where I found Pro Obama stickers and Anti Obama stickers. This was not the big surprise. The big surprise was, as I was reading through these bumper stickers, I couldn’t believe that there were people who felt so negative about something I felt so positive about. Ok – in telling this I’m aware that I’m sounding like a moron, but it’s deeper than just realizing that someone has a different opinion than you. It was like something clicked HARD for me. All of a sudden I got what people must be thinking of me when I’m so strongly FOR something that they are so AGAINST. “Is she out of her f’n mind?” “Is she an idiot? How the hell can’t she see what is happening?” “She always seemed like such a smart girl to me.” Etc. That’s what people who don’t think like me must be thinking of me. So it dawns on me the other day that wow. People might have just as much a right to their opinion (and I’m saying this with out paying them lip service, but actually meaning it…) as I do of mine. And maybe if I stop the criticism and judgment of people who think differently, I might be in a position of hearing what they are saying. And if I hear what they are saying (if they can say it in a way that would reflect their seeing my position as valid in the same way I would…) then maybe the attitudes and the ego and the whatever else would float away an there would be some, or we could maybe try to reach some, common ground.

Is it possible? Did I finally “get” something some of you have been alluding (I used it in the right place this time!!) to?

Anyway. Just some random things that go through CeCe’s mind in the middle of the night.

See you tomorrow. Remember– 3:00ish – till my evening appt shows up. Probably will be some time around 6:30/7:00 PM. I will try to log in after 11:00PM tomorrow, but I may be too exhausted to. I have writing group and sometimes I’m ready to just go to bed after and dream of phrases and clauses.