Even though I knew that I was going on vacation, I still did not have the time to adequately prepare myself to leave! I had a list of all kinds of things I would do: blog, write emails to some of my clients letting them know when I would return, putting up a few recorded stories I had done to keep you all occupied while I was away, etc. etc. But as the day approached, I found more and more things to do that had to do with being gone for 8 days. Things like - finding a pet sitter for Jack, and packing enough clothes for unpredictable MN weather, and trying to finish my English class assignments. Things were piling up on me and I ran out of time to do the few things I thought of doing here on this blog. So please forgive me. Life just got a bit too full for me.

But I’m back now. Well rested - and starting a new fall semester of college! I am so excited! I have a Journalism class I’ll be taking, and I’m taking a foreign language because some of the colleges I want to transfer to require it, and then I’m taking Algebra. I will definitely be taking a math class every semester for the next year and then hopefully I will have enough math to fill my requirement. I’m hoping. So now that my fall semester is figured out, I have the following weeks to spend with you, doing all those things I promised I’d do, but ran out of time. I won’t list them all here as I don’t currently trust myself to complete them yet. I use to really love writing lists - long lists - of about 100 things I wanted to do and then post them here for the world to see. But failing at completing the list became a bit much. It’s kinda like setting yourself up to fail a little bit. I have a tentative list right here beside me of the things I’d like to do today. I’ll let you know how I do at the end of the day, how about that.

FOr now - one of the things I’m completing is - writing in this blog. I’ve neglected it for a bit, and I also lost a little direction in regards to what I wanted to write about. I’m forever doubting what I’m doing here on this blog — I need to just quit it already and resign myself to the fact that I am a writer - and my blogs are going to be a bit different than the blogs that other girls do. I’m introspective and touchy feel-y and I rarely talk about things that include the words pussy, cock, and cum. I figure *for me* that it’s just a cheap way to go. I’d rather work a bit more at my entries - and leave the easier playful things for our calls - if that’s what you want. Or a recording. Or a story. This blog is my little “get to know me more intimately” measure. I dunno. It’s not as confusing as it needs to be though - so I’m going to stop making an issue of it. We all know how I write by now … so … um … get over it and move on. So yeah - I was saying - I’m writing in my blog! (checks it off her list) Yay, CeCe! I know. You’re waiting for it, aren’t you? the promises to write more. The something that I put in writing that you can remind me of when I fail to do once again (haha). It’s not going to happen. This is the new CeCe. I have a goal in mind - I’ll let you know when I’ve reached it.

So I was on vacation. I was on vacation that I hadn’t even really planned on. I knew I was going, but I hadn’t made “a plan” - I just knew it had to happen so I packed and I went for it. And you know, I’m glad I didn’t plan for it. Of course, it would have been better if I would have had a bit more money saved up for the thing, and it would have been MUCH better had I made arrangements to let everyone here know I was going, etc. etc. but one thing I’ve noticed about myself is that the more I think about doing something, the less I do it. I just have to DO it and stop making plans to do it or writing lists to do it and blah blah blah. Sometimes my fixating on certain aspects makes me less active in actually doing the thing. Like Nike, right? So I just did vacation. I went to MN to visit my family I haven’t seen in a long time, and I basked in the sunshine and absorbed the green that only MN can give you. I know there are “green” places all over - but MN has a kind of lush green that no other place has. When you’re in Minnesota, you can practically hear the color green. You can taste the color green. Green sinks into your soul and makes everything mellow and safe and almost dream like. Had it not been for my assignments I still needed to get in, I would have risked being eaten alive by mosquitos and just rowed out into the middle of the lake with a great book and napped and read, dreaming of a few of you taking shifts to sit next to me for a bit and feed me grapes and cheddar cheese or something. !

When I lived in Minnesota, I thought that California was the greener side of the fence. When I moved to California, I did not notice, at first, the sprinklers working over time because rain doesn’t love California the way it loves Minnesota. I trained my tongue to flirt over my o’s and adopted a sort of “tv valley girl” speech - something more sophisticated than the mid west lilt I grew up with. I forced myself to think of myself as a city girl, pretended that skim milk was better than whole and that spending 100 bucks on a dress was sensible, even when a pretty one from old navy would do just fine. I taught myself to look at the yellow brown green and identify it with summer, trained my nose to take in the ocean as a suitable substitute for ten thousand lakes, said soda instead of pop. But ya know what? Flying into MN at 6:00 in the morning with barely enough sunlight to make out the squares of farms and the ink blots of lake after lake after lake can’t hide the green from your eyes. The green rises up to meet you. Beckons you to come in for a landing. Paves the way to pastures overflowing with life that will melt on your tongue. Minnesota is that greener side of the fence. I’m sure of it.

So I’m thinking…I’d like to be that “greener side of the fence” for you. I’d like to be that one thing that fills up your senses, makes you know you’re undoubtedly talking to CeCe. I’d like to be the one who rains down on you just a little bit more frequently and is just a bit more taste-y, a bit more wholesome, a bit more fresh than anything else you’ve experienced. If I can do that during a call or two, I will be happy. You can have that one impromptu vacation day contained in how ever many minutes you have. Escape. Play. Dream with me. You’ll be glad you did!