It’s official. You are hearing it here first. I am no longer a teen. I turned the big 20 yesterday and sorry for not making a big deal out of it - but I just felt that it was an ending of sorts and definitely not one I wanted to face. I’ll try to explain a bit later in this post, but first I do need to say thank you for the boys who actually did remember my big day with out my typical pomp and circumstance I usually throw around here on my bday and Christmas’. I say that somewhat sarcastically… I just have not been one to announce the big day like that. It isn’t even a chance to test you guys to see if you will remember - I just think that bdays aren’t that big of a deal anymore - and I actually feel funny asking for things on that day, especially in today’s economy and so close to Christmas. I figure I’d prefer a Christmas gift anyway (grin). That’s what my family basically did: waited until Christmas and then made up for there somewhat pathetic bday gifts, always done at the last minute while shopping for the turkey. Not that I’m complaining. Much. So thank you: Tiffy, SBJ, Karl (VERY sweet gift, sweetie!!), Uncle Randy, and those of you who wished me happy Bday on our calls together. **MUAH**

But this year it was really one of those things I did not want to mention on here because I knew that if I announced it, I would have to figure out what I was going to do about the big departure from TEEN wet dream into the world of just wet dreams. I thought for awhile that I would retire once I reached the point where I could no longer call myself a teen. And I’m aware of the fact that there are some characters on Niteflirt who never age, and no one really cares … but just as my braces will eventually come off (less than a year and counting) so must I lose the “teen” in my name. How will it sound when someone calls me up and asks me how old I am, and I say “twenty.”? *click* I figured that retirement was as good an option as any. I wasn’t going to go suddenly. I would have had a party. Balloons, ice cream cake, a big candle in the shape of a penis. You know the kind. *wink* But yeah, I figured turning twenty was a sign to hang up my phone and headset and go into retirement.

I’m not going to retire. Come on. I’m not even done with school now, and there is a recession going on out there — and retail is not having a great time. Retail is what I’m best suited for, being a ‘young adult’ and all. So I’m going to sit still for a bit longer. I may change over to a different domain, but more than likely that will happen once my braces come off and I’ll turn into a young adult and leave the teen thing behind me. Even Peter Pan had to face growing up , you know.

So school is going. I got a perfect score on my Geography Map Quiz by the way. Ask me where the Canary Islands are. Go ahead, ask me! Geography is about to hit an intense level. We’re learning all about currents and wind patterns and other stuff I can’t even repeat…that’s how lost I am. But as lost as I am, I’m still getting a solid B+ in that class. After our field trip this weekend, I’m sure I’m getting an A+. We went to see the butterfly um .. what is it called? Farm? Reserve? and it was by far the prettiest thing I had ever seen. Then we went and looked at wave patterns on the beach. I’m not lying. We looked at wave patterns and then we also picked up rocks and tried to figure out what caused what topography. I kept on looking around this certain bend after hearing that that is where Santa Barbara University was. Can you imagine going to school on the damn beach? Come ON! Is it possible to get any work done at all? I saw quite a few students out tanning and surfing that day and also quite a few walking through the forests where the Butterflies hung in their little pods from the Eucalyptus trees. I have to go back there with Jackson. He’d freak out over the waves, but he’d really dig the Monarch butterflies, and the hike would wear his ass out big time!

English is a joke. I had mentioned once that I loved my teacher, but that love has quickly turned into a hate I can’t even express. I’m going to mention something in here now knowing that my readers will be sensitive and not ask me to do some sort of warped fantasy. I can do a fantasy about any other kinky freaky professor except for this guy - because it’s just too real to the truth. This is what happened. I wrote a paper about milk and how it’s not a good thing to drink. It’s an argumentative paper, I’m not going to get into it because I’m bored with it already. It’s a good paper but … yeah. Anyway - so I’m talking about milk and the milk commercials and I mention that it’s kind of sexual in nature, the whole milk above the lip thing and sexy models in these tank tops and fit bodies drinking it and blah blah blah. I don’t mean anything other than “sexual” in a very LOOSE term. Why the fuck did my teacher write on my paper “some people call it cum shots?” ???!!! Why???!!! Can anyone tell me in what world is that appropriate? I’m so not even lying. Not only did he write this on my paper, but then he announced it in my class that he wrote it on my paper too. While I was busy trying to figure out why the fuck he felt he could write something on my paper like that (to my knowledge he is not a caller!) I started to feel the eyes of every fuckin male student in my class looking at me wondering what it is that I knew that made the teacher write something like that on my paper. Seriously, I could feel them assessing me - checking me out in a very uncomfortable fashion. There are fantasies and then there are realities, and this, my friends, is a most creepy and gross reality. Before that gross comment my teacher has had other stupid things to say, too. About the Holocaust: “Get over it - lots of people have suffered.” About Koreans, “I didn’t know my son was mine … he ate so much rice I thought my wife had an affair with the postman … he’s Korean.” About Black people, “I told my friend once - hey - at least I can change color!” you get the picture. I was getting a C+ in my English class after I got straight B’s on my papers and Essay - but then I missed handing in a paper and got a C+. I handed in my paper last week though and I got a A- on it, but got counted down to a B+ due to it being late. Hey - I’ll fuckin take it. But I won’t take comments of cum shots on my paper. I still feel dirty - and I have done/talked about far more dirtier things in my life, trust me. Just somethin’ about a comment like that outside of niteflirt makes me way uneasy. Strange, huh?

In order to process all this stress of school and work and life and the uncertainty of our futures - I’ve taken my stress to the gym. I hired a nazi, let’s call her Elsa, and she kicks my ass 2 -3 times a week. I went to see her today and my finger tips hurt. I stepped up and down on a platform holding on to a weight that made me immediately decide against breast implants. My goodness - I practically tipped over holding onto 10 pound wheel of a weight. How ever do you big titty women keep your balance? Elsa says things to me like, “Do you want the easy way to do this next exercise, or are you ready for a challenge?” Damn her. How quickly she learns. All you have to do is put “easy” in front of something and “challenge” in front of the other choice - and you know I will do it. “So CeCe - do you want to deep throat me on your knees which is the easy way? Or do you want the challenge? You’ll be on the bed - on your back - with your head over the edge - and I’ll lower my 10 inches down your throat and you try not to gag. Which way do you want?” Shit! 10 inches of course!!! lol. In all honesty, though, I’m competitive as hell. It’s a good thing most of the time, but often I just set myself up for pain. Which I am experiencing now. But I love it. I absolutely love it. I love lifting weights, and doing girl pull ups, and doing balance work and core work and going 4.2 MPH on the treatmill on a 6.0 incline for 45 minutes. I enjoy sweating like a pig - walking out of the gym past all the muscle dudes, and knowing that I kicked my own ass and that I’m strong and capable and sweaty! It’s a great, great feeling. It’s also a great way to release a whole lot of worry, anger, grief, pain, etc. with out hurting anyone!

There are so many ways that we can deal with discomfort, hurt, stress, anger - and most of these ways that we use to cope will land us in the hospital soon enough. Cigarettes, overeating, stress, tempers, destructive lifestyles, not asking for help (or directions), etc. are just really counter-productive. One of the ladies I met while working at the gym a few years ago was diagnosed with Lung Cancer. I house sat for her - and she was so alive and energetic and … I can not even bear to call her up and talk with her. But I know I need to because she’s not going to be here for long. I promised myself that I would not be one of those x-smokers who nagged people to quit, and I’ve really kept that promise. But today I’m just going to end my long waited for post by saying that there are other ways to relieve stress. You could go look at some monarch butterflies or take a walk on the beach if you live in sunny southern California. You could join a gym - all the money you’d spend on cigs will surely pay for a membership, won’t it? You could also masturbate to a favorite movie or pictures (I will be updating my galleries very soon!!! I mean it this time!!!) or even call me for some release. However you decide to release some stress - I hope that you are able to release some so that you are more able to enjoy this holiday season coming up. You’ve all been such great gifts to me this year and I appreciate each and every one of you. Even calls that weren’t “perfect” or “five star” quality taught me a lot about myself and helped me to grow into the mature 20 year old I am today. Happy Holidays!! May your days and nights be Merry & Bright!

Tuesday: 11:00AM - 3:00PM, MIDNIGHT - 3:00AM - (later if needed)
Wednesday: 12:00PM - 3:00PM, off and on Wednesday evening - Thanksgiving preparations under way.
Thursday: Will try to log in once everyone passes out from the Turkey - but no promises. If I can make it it will be after 7:00PM PST.
Friday: TBA
Saturday: TBA
Sunday: TBA
*Feel free to make an appointment or email me if you need me to be available during a specific time for you. I will do my best to accommodate. *

Update to schedule: 11/26/08 — my late nites and school is catchin up with me! I’m actually going to take a nap. Yeah. A nap. It does a body good! I will be logging in and out intermittently throughout the next few days - but will try to keep you abreast of my comings and goings. How much innuendo can I use in a sentence?

I seem to have picked up an influx of “yeah” men lately. These are the types of men who give nothing to the fantasy AT ALL - not in the beginning (which I don’t mind) or in the middle (which gives me at least some sort of hope) or at the end (which helps me understand if they had a good time at least!). It is … with out a doubt… the most frustrating thing ever, and after 2 years I have finally reached my breaking point. *sigh*

I think if you are reading this blog, you are one of my callers who knows me fairly well. Yeah - we can debate the word “know” and how well do you really know me, etc. etc. but I’m using “know” in a general sense of the word. You may not “know” me in the bibical sense of the word, but you know my little quirks and pet peeves, and you know what gets me off, and what kinds of books I enjoy reading. In the familiar sense of the word “know” you “know” me. What is the one thing I just can not for the life of me tolerate? Besides spiders? (taps fingers against the desk waiting for the right answer…) EXACTLY! I hate SILENCE during phone calls. There are a few exceptions to the rules - and you all know who you are - but for the most part if you are able to have and hold a conversation with me, you best open up your mouth and communicate. It’s not that I think you’re working for me and that I don’t know my place in the phone sex workforce fantasy or anything - I just really need input/feedback/direction so that I know where I’m going and if I’m going in the right direction and if I’m even in the right state! If you let me know what is going on in the beginning of the call - and gently (and quietly if need be) give me a few destinations, I’ll be fine. Honest. I have a really great imagination. I can create things so elaborate that I surprise myself sometimes. I admit that at times I really am horny, too, so I prefer to create fantasies that we both can share and get off on. I just figure it’s better that way. But this weekend I had about 3 callers who really said nothing for the entire length of the call. I literally had to speak to myself for 20 minutes of one call, forcing questions onto the participant (laughing at the word by the way because he wasn’t one!) and going no where quick. I finally just put my head back and moaned for the last 5 minutes praying to the phone sex princess that the call be over. I know this is not the type of thing one wants to read on Monday. I’m probably sinking quickly with my less than popular post on Sarah Palin (Pallin?) and now this one reminding you all of the ills of my “job” - but I had to do it. Because after this I will no longer mention it. Right now it is written forever in CeCe’s Kingdom that silent callers will be dismissed of unless prior arrangements have been made. PLEASE NOTE THAT IF I HAVE BEEN TALKING TO YOU FOR THE PAST YEAR OR TWO AND YOU WOULD CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE OF THE SILENT NATURE - THIS POST IS NOT FOR YOU! If I have spoken to you for the past year - months - 2 years - somethin like that, don’t even worry. We “work” together if you’re silent or don’t talk a lot. Usually this means that you’ve written to me before hand and explained your fantasy to me, your situation or whatever, and we have worked it out. Please don’t get all sensitive on me and think that I mean you in this post. I do not! The people that need to read this probably aren’t anywhere near my journal. Which renders this post pointless. But I will continue and say that I am going to start blocking silent callers who give nothing to the fantasy/experience. I’m not the flirt for you. I will physically come through the phone and shake you awake, and I’m not violent. Often. You gotta say somethin to play with me, boys. If you’re not into talking - then please take a look around my site and click on the “custom recording” section. That is what you’ll want. A custom recording. That way you can sit and be silent and not irritate me. I gotta do something so I don’t go insane. “So… what do you get into?” “anything.” “Um - so what were you wanting to speak about tonight - what gets you off?” “Oral sex”. “Oh! Great. Well… let’s do a role play then! Maybe I should be the next door neighbor or something and I can come over because I want to use your pool and…” (silence) “How does that sound…? ” Silence…then a faint “ok.” “Alright then. Um - I’m going to knock on your door now… do you want me to just tell you the story or do you want to play along?” Silence. “Hello?” Silence. “Hello?!” “Yeah?” “Hon - are you not in a place where you can talk?” Silence.

You get the picture.

Speaking of custom recordings … I’m going to be doing one later today (I keep postponing it, hon…sorry!)for a new client of mine. I am so excited. I know that you all can’t speak to me as often as you’d like with things being the way they are in the world…so I’d like to offer the recordings as a gentle weaning of sorts. You can have me in your ear whenever you’d like for a fraction of the price. If you have something specific JUST for you - then custom is what you want. The price will be a bit more - but we can discuss it and come to an agreement. If it’s something general then I can create the recording and set it up on my website where others might enjoy it too. You’ll pay a bit less than you would for a custom - but you’ll still have something that will excite you and tide you over for the twice a month call allowance you’ve put yourself on. *wink*. For those of you who miss me due to my schedule change, this may also be an option for you. You can find the form to fill out by clicking on the “recording” button above in the menu. And for the love of all that is good and holy, if you really are not a great communicator on the phone and can not bring yourself to write a note to me and explain your fantasy to me - or a list of things you’d like me to say/do to help YOU get off, then you may want to consider putting in a request for a custom recording. I promise you I will not be driving you crazy by asking you if you like something - or if you are still there - or to speak or anything like that in the recording. I pretty much know I’ll be speaking to myself and I can sit back and weave myself into a great little fantasy for you. I will enjoy myself - and won’t have to block you for being difficult and driving me to drink. Deal?

This is CeCe - and I approve this message.

I pulled an unintentional all niter. What is funny about it is was I on line with all of you? Well - I was on calls with quite a few of you the night before/morning before - which led to my decision to stay awake - and then tonight I was going to brave the phones and I did well, right Scott and Frisco? But then I started to fade. Quickly. I would blink and the blinks became realllllly long blinks. You know the type. So I’m done for the evening. I will be back awake and refreshed in 12 hours. I do not have school on Monday, though Jackson does have a hair appointment (puppy cut time!) and I have a few other errands to run before I get thrown into jail - but I digress. I will probably be staying until early early Monday Morning provided I get the rest I need. Arrange a call if necessary… Talk soon!

**edit**

6:48PM Sunday Eve –
Alright - I’m going to go for a long and satisfying walk, and I want each one of you to think about what you did. *wink* I’m kidding, sort of. A few of you chaps, however, do need to think about speaking just a little more clearly. CeCe has a little bit of a hearing issue lately due to a thing called “smog” and “congestion” and near old age. Therefore, would you be kind little dearies and speak the hell up when calling? Grassyass (Gracias).

I’ll be back in a few hours and will be ready for all you have to give me. I’m prepared for the few of my special smart asses to call me up speaking loudly as if to their grandmothers as a little prank. I know you are all out there waiting for me to become available. *waving my finger at you in mock sternness*. xoxo

I have so much to write about and nothing wants to come out. Or I won’t let it come out. Or something. I don’t know.

I feel that if I write anything right now it will truly be on some cryptic level, and there is nothing wrong with cryptic except everyone will wonder what exactly I’m talking about and it will seem like some juvenile cry for attention. Girls know what I am referring to. It’s that completely aggravating way some girls have of showing you they are distraught - the tears and sniffles and catches in their voice, but when you ask them what is wrong they look at you sideways and say so unconvincingly, “Nothing…” God - I wanna slap girls like that. Hard. I have no desire to be one of those cryptic losers - and yet I have nothing else inside of me that is fighting to get out right now except for that. And I can’t write a letter about it. I’ve done that. I can’t even vent to people about it because the people who I can vent to have already told me, in no uncertain terms, that I would be best to just let this all go and be happy.

And I am happy, by the way. Really happy. I have started school again, I am still smoke-free, I am so incredibly healthy and full of energy because of my pact to walk 10K miles every day (and yup - I did it! I actually averaged 11K steps last week. Go me!) and eat healthy, balanced, non processed meals. It’s a wonder how much better I feel after having started this new way of living. I also have been reading quite a few books about being present and living in the now which is a fancy way of saying don’t have regrets. All in all my life is going pretty damn good. I could complain, but what would be the point? Not to mention, I’m learning this year that nothing is perfect. You can never have a day that doesn’t hold some challenges - and life is all about how you deal with those challenges, those things that come up unexpectedly that threaten to steer you off course.

But I have a twinge of unhappiness. A lot of disappointment, actually. And I’m trying my best to figure out how to deal appropriately with it. I want to give myself permission to feel it, but I don’t want it to turn into bitterness and hatred as those things surprisingly do nothing to the person who you’re disappointed in - and do everything negative to you: tearing your insides up, keeping you up at night, giving you something to worry about, etc.

So that’s where I’m at on a personal level. Just thought I’d share.

In other news, Happy Birthday to Chris! I checked your comment to me and then looked back at my feedback and sure enough, there you were celebrating your birthday with me even back then. I’m happy to be one of your traditions. Have a very very happy birthday and good luck with that other thing that we were talking about. I’m sure you will have a lovely time (or else she’s a fool!)

I’m going to close up shop and head off to bed to write a bit of my story for writing group tomorrow. I will be on late tomorrow evening, but will do my best to log in a little bit before I leave for class. I have a lot of things to squeeze in before I leave for group, and it’s just nearing 3:00AM here now. Forgive me if I can’t log on any earlier than 11:30PM (or so). I’ll post a bit more about my schedule this weekend later today. Stay tuned.

Talk soon!

Every now and then I look around at my life and start counting my blessings and realize that I’m pretty spoiled. It’s not every day that someone asks me what I want - but when they do I exhibit every bit of teenage wanton desire and pick out a few hundred items that I feel I really need. Wishing has never been a big issue for me. I’m not by any means a princess, though several of my customers refer to me as one. SBJ in particular. I realized a few months ago that I go through these periods where I feel that if I have just one more thing that I really super duper want that my life will be complete and I will be able to sit back satisfied. This tends to happen right at some crucial moment; taking a big exam that I know I will not do very well in, getting into a fight with a best friend, sliding behind on homework or any other one of my responsibilities, etc. etc. When I’m at my most content, however, I’m able to look at my life and feel totally and completely sated. It is usually at these times that I get flooded with all types of gifts and treasures and friendships and callers and calls and compliments and … well, good stuff.

I don’t always take the time out to express my gratitude for all of you and your gifts, tributes, etc. But I felt that it was over due - so consider this post one gigantic-normous Thank You Card from me - to you.

A while back while I was watching Oprah I saw what had to be the best collection of movies I had ever seen in my life - 90 of them - all from UA Artists and dating from 1940 - 2004. I knew I HAD to have this collection - after all, movies (and writing) are my life! I placed this collection on my wish lists stating that who ever bought it for me I would express my love to them on my blog and that I would promise to blog at least 3 times a week. Even this tempting offer didn’t raise many eyebrows - but finally SBJ heard my plea and asked me a simple question: Did I want it. Of course I said yes - but I did so with a certain amount of hesitation. This collection was very expensive and I really felt it a luxury - not one like let’s say a coach bag or a pair of (ahem) diamond earrings (which he also bought for me!) or anything - but a luxury still the same. I would not even be able to watch all of the movies at once - like I often run through series (over a long weekend) - this would be a collection that I treasured for the rest of my life. But I said yes - and a few weeks after I said the magic word - the collection was mine. Thank you so very very very very much, Scott, for this amazing collection of movies. I know that it was terribly expensive and that it was certainly not easy for you to come by (long back story) but I so appreciate your sacrifice in order that I should have exactly what I wanted. I will have no problem mentioning your name in my 3 posts a week and will remind everyone that they should thank you for the updates. (lol)

Along with the UA Movies I have also received: Cooking Mama & the New Super Mario Bros. along with the Nintendo DS Lite (Pink) and Organizer (also pink) from Mr. D., Hoyle Casino 2008,Rode Mic and Stand, 4 books (Podcasting for Dummies, Syndicating Web sites with RSS Feeds, PHotoshop CS2 for Dummies, Photoshop CS2 Top 100 Simplified Tips & Tricks), Popcorn, Popping OIl and Popcorn Maker, and the 7th Season of The West Wing all from SBJ, Nintendo DS Lite Travel Kit & 3 books (The Book of Bright Ideas, Saving Fish From Drowning and The Other Boleyn Girl) from Rolf, 2 movies (August Rush, Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium) from Alex, The Beekeeper (Tori Amos) Cd, Songbook: A collection of Hits (Trisha Yearwood), Mozart Edition: Complete works (170CD Box Set) and Bach Edition: Complete Works (155 CD Box Set) from Doc, Body Shop Shea Butter & The Book of Sonatinas from Karl in London, A divine white gold anklet & VS merchandise from Tiffy (yahoo!), and even Jack got his beloved Premier Busy Buddy Tug A Jug from Craig. (whew)

Brian, Chris, SBJ, Paul, Hardallday, footstool, Thor, Mathew, chburr, sweetdee, Mr.D.,Mike & Rick: Thank you all very much for your most generous tips and cash-ola! Very much appreciated and needed - especially when I had to take off a week from work in order to take care of my health.

This is not in any way shape or form meant to take away from the generosity of all the people who were able to send gifts and cash - but I do not want to ignore the fact that many of my customers call me - sometimes more frequently than they need to - in order that I live a very blessed and fruitful life. Don’t think for a minute, guys, that I don’t see the time that you spend with me - and the loyalty that you display by calling me frequently (and then some) as one of the biggest gifts of all. So thank you to all of my “die hard customers”: Brian, Michael, Danno, Chris, Thor, Shawn, Mack, Matthew, Mathew, Guitar Gently Weeps, Jerod, Rick, Tiffy, Kevin, Ray, bigdicforu, Jay, Catwoman fan, my sweet obama lover rockstar (speaking of BITTER! *wink wink nudge nudge*) and last but not least Copperlord. Please forgive me any omissions - blame my flakiness and not my heart, please.

So as you can see - I, CeCe, am “kind of ” spoiled indeed. I have been blessed to the moon, to the stars - and back again and I have all of you to blame/thank for it. Thank You from the bottom of my heart. You have blessed me, enriched my life, tickled me, softened my knees, elbows, heart - made me twinkle, bling and shine and engaged my mind in more ways than I could ever express.
My only wish is that I’ve somehow spoiled you all in return.

Many x’s and o’s.