I pulled an unintentional all niter. What is funny about it is was I on line with all of you? Well - I was on calls with quite a few of you the night before/morning before - which led to my decision to stay awake - and then tonight I was going to brave the phones and I did well, right Scott and Frisco? But then I started to fade. Quickly. I would blink and the blinks became realllllly long blinks. You know the type. So I’m done for the evening. I will be back awake and refreshed in 12 hours. I do not have school on Monday, though Jackson does have a hair appointment (puppy cut time!) and I have a few other errands to run before I get thrown into jail - but I digress. I will probably be staying until early early Monday Morning provided I get the rest I need. Arrange a call if necessary… Talk soon!

**edit**

6:48PM Sunday Eve –
Alright - I’m going to go for a long and satisfying walk, and I want each one of you to think about what you did. *wink* I’m kidding, sort of. A few of you chaps, however, do need to think about speaking just a little more clearly. CeCe has a little bit of a hearing issue lately due to a thing called “smog” and “congestion” and near old age. Therefore, would you be kind little dearies and speak the hell up when calling? Grassyass (Gracias).

I’ll be back in a few hours and will be ready for all you have to give me. I’m prepared for the few of my special smart asses to call me up speaking loudly as if to their grandmothers as a little prank. I know you are all out there waiting for me to become available. *waving my finger at you in mock sternness*. xoxo

The best laid plans of mice and … CeCe - often go astray, and yesterday was no exception! I had originally thought I would log in around 1:00PM and work my shift till about 6:00PM - but I was up late the night before and barely woke up around 10:00AM. Then I suddenly realized that my hours of operation would directly interfere with me running to my p.o. box, going to the bank, and doing all the other little things that would need to be done during business hours. So I logged out and ran my errands and logged back in - determined to work a little bit. As soon as I got all nice and settled in - I received a phone call telling me that my family was in from MN. So I had to log out and prepare for their arrival. As soon as my auntie and uncle and mom and dad were all settled in - I removed myself from the joyful family gathering to go to bed so that I could wake up and go to my Poli Sci class. But before I tucked myself in, I checked into NF to make sure I had not overlooked any emails. I found 2 people waiting very patiently for me to return. I decided to go ahead and log back in and take the calls - which resulted in my bedtime being delayed several hours. I was ok, though. I had 2 really terrifically long and intense and educational calls with Chris and Allen - and I was feeling a bit empowered…almost energetic. So I logged off, satisfied at having satisfied and been satisfied - and crawled into bed with my government book. I figured there really isn’t anything like reading about the constitution to put me into a coma. Not that I find my government class boring - on the contrary, it’s one of my most favorite classes this term (which may sound like a lop sided compliment being that I only have Biology to compare it to.) I stayed awake through all 30 pages of my reading assignment. And then I was a bit riled up. My brain had been ignited (lol!) and all this talk about Locke and his philosophies combined with the visual of the most brilliant of minds sitting together in a dark room in a Philadelphia building debating about how the constitution should be worded acted like some sort of high and sleep escaped me for several more hours. I finally passed out while watching Becoming Jane around 4:00AM. My class started at 8:00AM.

Thanks to several calls from Doc - I crawled out of bed around 7:00PM and drove my tired behind to class. Once in class, however, I was wide awake again. I was on fire! I knew all the answers the Professor fired my way - I debated about states power and the meaning behind the 3/5ths compromise. We discussed the theory of “democracy” and the reality of “republic” and 3 hours later I was on my way home to bed. Or so I thought. Jackson needed some attention, a walk, breakfast, and a belly rub (or 3), my Mother invited me to go work out with her and I could not pass up the opportunity to sweat, and then I found a pet store next to my home that carried Jackson’s brand of puppy food. While I was there I bought a brush. Then back home I decided to take Jackson for a little trot around the park. By this time it was now time to eat dinner. Then we had to check out the slides of snow in Minnesota. And by that time I realized that the nap idea that I had had earlier, that literally made me moist with excitement, was now pretty much just that … an idea. A fantasy. Like “democracy”. LOL! Oh - I forgot the bit about the glass of white wine that I had during dinner and pictures!

By the time Tiffy called me I was loopy. More than loopy I was in a strangely dominate state of mind. Tiffy’s little contributions to the conversation were not tolerated. I sweetly told Tiffy to shut the fuck up and pushed Tiffy into one of the kinkiest fantasies I could muster up … sort of while slurring my words and uttering 4 letter words like some petite sailor. “Get on your knees” I barked. “Did I ask you a question? I don’t want you speaking until I directly ask you a question, Tiffy!” I hardly recognized myself but the soft whimpers from Tiffy assured me that this new found personality of mine was very welcomed. At the very last “huff” I sighed and relaxed into my chair. I almost felt like I should have rubbed my hands together like some people do after a ‘job well done’. If Jackson had learned to pat my back in obedience school I surely would have ordered him to do so. I so deserved it. I had taken Tiffy - done with Tiffy what I wanted to - and would not allow Tiffy the satisfaction of even pleasing me in return. “Maybe in a day or so you can please me, Tiffy” I softly suggested. Tiffy could all but sigh and agree with my terms.

The wine was still combining with my lack of sleep and producing some sort of “silly” molecule as a result. I felt loopy. Free and easy. Finding some rather funny quotes of a particular leader I can not stand (Tiffy suggested that I keep politics off of my blog so I won’t mention this idiot by name. Besides, I’m too bushed to get into it all right now anyway), I started to read to Tiffy. What erupted out of our mouths was the kind of giggling that happens during church. Or during a lecture at school. The kinds of giggles that you try to hold in - only to have them burst out of you with that loud “BAHA!” type of laugh that is so not flattering or even cute. My stomach started to hurt - like really hurt. Tears starting rolling down my face at each quote I recited. Tiffy started responding to my laughter with giggles of his own which further fueled mine until we were gasping for air telling each other to “stop!” It was the type of laughter that can only be shared by those who really understand your sense of humor. The type of giggles that can only be infectious to those who find you utterly adorable. The kind of belly laugh that comes from not only whatever it is that is humorous - but the laughter at sharing it with the person who you feel so close to - intimate with.

It might be the wine. It may be the lack of sleep. It may be the hilarious blunders. It may be Tiffy. It may be one of the most hilarious sentences uttered after our steamy session (”I should have brought a towel.”) It probably is all of the above. But tonight I had the belly laughs of all belly laughs. And I just had to thank Tiffy for it.

I’ll be up for a little while longer. You may still catch me in my 1 glass of wine buzz I need sleep badly man my stomach hurts now moment. If you do not - no worries. I will be on tomorrow evening around 10:00PM. **edited 7:22PM 2/23/08** I have actually been logged on off and on since this afternoon and will be doing the same through out the evening. I’m juggling between homework, Jack, and company - so if you do not see me ‘available’ - set up an appointment. I will be logging out OFFICIALLY around 1:00AM Sunday morning. Talk with you soon! **end edit**

Don’t misunderestimate me!

So Jackson had his surgery. I didn’t have a clue how emotionally exhausted I would be from the whole ordeal. I went to pick Jackson up around 4:00PM on Friday - he practically leaped out of the assistant’s arms into mine. I just pressed my cheek into his fur and inhaled. I just held him for 2 hours when I got home - and then we hopped into bed where we slept until around 10:00PM. I signed in for a minute or two - and then went back to bed. I caught a few customers - but not many. Today I went to the gym while Jackson slept - and then the rest of the day was spent yelling at him not to lick his balls - and feeding him small amounts of his kibble while praying for him to poop. He hasn’t yet. I don’t know if I should be worried. He seems to be - at the most part - the same Ole Jackson - minus a few friends. He even humped his stuffed doggy this evening for good measure. I have noticed he is a bit more clingy - and a bit more eager to lay down and just chill - but when he’s “up” he’s running around, energetic, and as funny as he ever was.

I’m not sure if it was Jackson’s surgery and the stress associated with it that did it - or if it was just a little virus running around Southern California - but I got a tiny bit of laryngitis. As you recall I had a little gift that I was planning on giving - but I couldn’t quite get it out. While most of the people I spoke to in the last few days have complimented me on my husky smoker voice - it’s frustrating when trying to speak on calls - and I certainly didn’t want to record anything - not saying that was part of the surprise or anything - but … you know, if I had wanted to actually record anything I wouldn’t be able to because my voice was just not there. It comes and goes and it really doesn’t hurt even though it must sound like it does. Instead of fighting it - I just decided to chill out and spend a little extra time with Jack - and a little extra time sleeping and healing myself, hoping that Jackson would do the same and his little body would return back to normal as quickly and painlessly as possible.

I had no idea that owning a dog would be this emotional, rewarding, frightening, expensive … basically had no idea that it would be life changing. I suddenly feel like taking my parents out to breakfast in the morning and paying for it, even. I should write my mother a lovely letter - that she can frame - and apologize for all the times I gave her heart attacks and didn’t appreciate the sacrifices she made so that I could have a good life, ya know? I don’t know how people do it. I don’t know how older mature people do it - or even the few people I know that had kids when they were younger than I am. I have much respect for them - regardless of whether or not they have all the money in the world - or need help from family, friends, or the government - parenthood is no joke.

So Jackson sleeps… and what am I going to do with my time here? Seems that most of the world is asleep right now but I’ll stay logged on for a bit in case anyone wants to play with a husky voiced braced teenager. I’m feeling pretty agreeable so you could easily take advantage of me. I’m not feeling very dominant, however - so if you’re looking for CBT I may not be the one to deliver it. (lol) - anything else though I’m game for.

Thanks to everyone who sent notes, messaged me, offered up little pieces of advice (the bitter apple worked PERFECTLY, SBJ!), kept me company and told me I wasn’t a bad parent while Jackson was under the knife (Tiffy) and took my mind and heart off of my troubles, cramps, and voice in other ways (Chris, Mike, Doc, Johnny, John, and my little addict - you know who you are! *grin*.) I really appreciate it and I owe you.

Have a great rest of the weekend, everyone. I’ll be on for a bit tonight - will be on for a little bit tomorrow morning/mid afternoon - and then for my normal shift of about 8-12 Sunday Evening. Look for me then!

Yes - My birthday IS right around the corner. Tiffy seems to have been preparing for this day long before me … and to that I say - well, nothing. I just haven’t been that into my bday. I guess because my bday has always been some preliminary to Christmas. I never expected a lot on my birthday - I doubled up on the gifts during Christmas cuz of everyone’s guilty feelings for not having made such a big deal about it. My callers have proven themselves to be much more sensitive about my bday than my parents ever were… Thanks guys!

A while ago people were asking me what I really wanted for my bday. I even had a person who had never called me ask me what I wanted for my birthday. To use his words - what I “REALLY wanted” (ah tell me what you want what you really really want!) At first these requests after establishing an 8 page wish list seemed silly to me - but when I thought about it a few days ago I realized that my wishlist can read sort of like some crazy cryptic message. To me - it all makes sense. I can tell you by looking at any page of my wish list exactly what I was thinking about. I can tell you what classes I was taking - what caught my attention during that particular time of my life or school year or whatever. But from the outside I know it looks a bit - crazy and schizophrenic. So … here is the one and only bday post I will do (until next year.) I will put it on out there what gifts I would really like to have - above all the other presents on my wish list. I also went through my list today and removed a few things that no longer interested me (like the vibrators - cuz well - Mr. Hitachi wand and the little bunny makes all those other toys totally unnecessary!) Once again - these gifts are merely suggestions. Anything on my wish list will tickle me pink.

Ok … so here we go.

If you don’t mind the thought of me watching too much television when I should be working hard on my math homework - these dvd collections would thrill me completely! THE DIRECTORS- THE ESSENTIAL DVD COLLECTION is mega expensive - but hey… if you have a few hundred burning a hole in your pocket - you can indulge me and get it. Isn’t the case absolutely ADORABLE? THE BILLY WILDER COLLECTION is gorgeous, too. Also any MUPPET SHOW series - or best of collection would be cool beans! EVERYONE LOVES RAYMOND, I LOVE LUCY, GILMORE GIRLS or THE BRADY BUNCH would all be way cool too. Especially RAYMOND or BRADY BUNCH! If it would make you feel better to send me something to read - then THE COMPLETE WORKS OF SHAKESPEARE, STEPHANIE PLUM BOXED SET (I don’t have any of them so please start at the beginning and purchase the first set first and so on… ), JANE AUSTEN COLLECTION or the ROALD DAHL Gift Set would be cool times a billion. There are also 3 (or is it 4?) POST SECRET books that I’ve been DYING to have. If you realize by now that I have plenty to read - and really want me to finish the recordings I’ve been promising for a year now - you can get me that really cool USB Microphone. If you want me to just write already and stop procrastinating my life away by watching too many movies - you can pick up any number of journals on my list - or hey - (a girl can dream!) buy me that Mac Lap Top I’m orgasming over. If you’d rather give me something more romantic or just want to spoil me a little bit - you can send me a gift certificate on Amazon and I can get some perfume or jewelry or lotion or whatever. And if you realize by now that music is my life - the new Itouch or the new Ipod 8 GB would suffice. *wink* Beyond these suggestions - anything that is on my wishlist (honestly) I would be happy to recieve. By now everyone knows what a movie freak I am - and how much I love Julie Andrews. A simple DVD of my absolute IDOL would be a sweet and truly appreciated present. Hopefully these suggestions will help all who asked. I see I’ve already received a few gifts from my list already and a few teasing emails from “secret” admirers telling me they are sending me things… and that I need to wait to open up the actual package on my bday. (yeah - right!)

I’m totally sleepy right now. NF went down right as I was speaking to Mr. Pink. (been a long time, mister!) - and it doesn’t look like NF will be up until way later. Jackson had another class today along with a grooming appointment and he wore me out. I hear him tumbing about in his crate right now - and if I stay up much later he’ll think it’s time to get up and play and ai won’t be sleeping until this afternoon. I’ll log in for a bit tomorrow - and Sunday - though I have a date with the Tiffers - and I think I have a date earlier in the afternoon with UR - Who is celebrating a certain um … Half a century event!

Have a great evening - thanks for the gifts and calls so far - and have a safe and wonderful day of Thanks - in case I don’t get back til after the blessed event. Hope the turkey isn’t dry - and that your relatives don’t drive you too crazy.

So now that the smoke has settled - things are getting back to normal around here. Halloween went on with out a hitch (I didn’t dress up - and Jackson outgrew his Harley Davidson outfit much to my horror - so he didn’t dress up either) - Midterms happened and I survived (Say hello to my little friend A.) and I’ve been feeling pretty darned good. I got flowers the other day from a secret admirer…really pretty ones - roses, carnations, babysbreath…so pretty!!!, a new printer/photocopier/scanner from a friendly nazi, and a play pen from Dr. Feel Better himself. On top of the amazon gifts I’ve also received some great cash prizes from some adoring fans (thanks mr. cum69, chair, gun, matty, fit, and sexaddict ), and then some of the sweetest compliments/feedback comments ever! You all sure know how to cheer up a little girl, don’t you! Thank you so very very much from the bottom of my heart! MWAH!!!!!

So why the title? Well - a funny thing happens in Southern California after a fire. Animals start appearing that use to stay far away in hills and on mountain sides. Animals like - cougars. yeah. I’m not lying.

About a week ago a cougar hopped over a 6 foot fence in an adjoining neighborhood - mauled a little puppy - and ran off with a 50 lb (or was it 60?) dog in it’s mouth. The owners were eating breakfast and didn’t hear the doggies in the yard and went to investigate and found one puppy badly injured, and the other doggy was missing. They ran up the hill behind their house I guess and found a little bit of fur lying in a pool of blood. After the Vet had examined the other puppy that had managed to escape the cougar - they realized that the injuries were cougar related. There is a law in California that you can not hunt cougars (looks out the window nervously.) So anyways - Jackson is not allowed out in the yard with out supervision. Supposedly cougars are okay until they are surprised (or hungry) but um - yeah. Jackson would be like some finger food before the bigger meal (me?) so I’m a bit nervous at the present moment. Gotta love LA. Writers strike, Santa Ana winds, Fires, Arnold S. for governor, and now Lions running amuck.

Tonight we fall back - so I’m going to be on for a bit tonight. I’ll at least be on alerts for awhile - because, well, I can be. And I wasn’t on very long yesterday (just long enough to speak to my sweetie “chair” - HI Sweetie !! - Thanks for the call) due to Puppy School Fridays.

And since you asked - Puppy school is going alright. I do wish, however, that children were not allowed unless they could behave. There were five more children there this past Friday. They seem to be multiplying. Also - Jack was one of 2 of his breeds last week. This week - there were 2 other doggies - and the rest were all Maltese. I don’t know how that happened, either. Jackson was tortured by 3 boys. The two girls were on the other side of the training area. Jack would have been better off next to the girls. The little boy (the California Strangler) was better behaved, too. But the 3 boys, Satan, Damien, and Lucifer, were horrible: dropping treats everywhere, bouncing balls in front of Jack, and grabbing his tail attempting to distract him from his lesson.

We learned how to walk on the leash, how to sit (Jack learned that weeks ago), and received tips on how to stop biting. I walked by the snack aisles, walked past the really cute t-shirts (Nearly Famous - how cute is that!?!), and even managed to walk by the really cute blankets and cute beds. TAH DAH.

I better go … I’ll talk with you later on this evening. Tomorrow I will be on in the evening, too - but have a date with the Tiffers. What time was that date again, Tiffy? midnight? Last call of the evening? Make an appointment before then because after Tiffy I’ll be hitting the hay. School on Monday, remember.

Talk soon…