And opinions have assholes. Oh, fine, Opinions ARE LIKE assholes. It just sounded better the way I put it, didn’t it?

Translation: Please don’t call me up and ask me jack shit about politics, religion, or money. I guess those are the smoking guns of conversations. There are a few exceptions to the rule, and I’m embarrassed to state one of the reasons, but for the sake of a post - let me just put it all out on the line. The exceptions are this:

1. If you really want to hear about my opinion on any of the aforementioned topics, please go ahead and ask me. It’s your dime. We can talk about abortion, the pope, ANDDDD McCain’s new running mate all nite for $1.87/minute. No problemo.
2. If you know me like the back of your hand, work for a certain politicians campaign (looks at RockStarBadAss and wonders how he’s doing…you have your work cut out for you, sweets. Make ‘mama’ proud!!) and want to dish about certain speeches, commercials and the like, then we can talk because we’re not going to argue. We can talk about abortion, the pope, ANNNNNNDDD McCain’s new running mate (who just looks like a woman who would have kinky F’n sex with her hubby, don’t she? That little Miriam Librarian Act doesn’t fool me for one minute! God Bless her kinky schoolmarm ass) all nite for, once again, $1.87/minute. No problemo. Hey, even I like to talk to people who think the same way I do, therefore making me feel that much better for my opinions. Sure, it’s nice to hear differing opinions but only so you can laugh hysterically at how absolutely fucked up “they” are for thinking the way “they” do, right!?

Any Questions? Good. Next topic of conversation.

I absolutely LOVE my English class. I love love love love it! I’m so jazzed with my teacher and I’m even happier that he has us keeping a journal for the class. Part of our grade will depend on our journal entries. Disappointingly I am unable to use these diary entries as that type of homework. I can’t even think of having him call up this line and doing a fantasy with him. How funny is that? Reminds me of another “brain” crush I had with someone a while ago (my very first ever brain crush, actually) and I felt the same way about him. There are those crushes that just make you kinda creeped out when you think of having sex with them. I don’t know how to explain it. I just wanna fuck his mind, I have no desire to fuck him like intercourse fuck him. Eeew. I’m pretty sure he’s gay anyway. I couldn’t even think to watching him fuck anyone else - it’s like our relationship has become sacred in less than 24 hours and I won’t allow even my kinky mind to soil it. *shrugs* I never said I was easy to understand. So anyway, as I was saying, my brain crush assigns writing exercises. He calls them “Free Writes” (nudge nudge Frisco!) and gives us 10 minutes to do them. Today I wrote about Pet Peeves. I wasn’t planning on sharing it - but I’m going to. So you know how my mind works and you will learn to revere it. Haha. Seriously kidding. You may run and hide. Or you’ll be highly entertained which is much more likely.

Keep in mind that these little exercises don’t really “care” about punctuation, spelling, or anything like that. So I am going to try to duplicate the writing exercise the way it is written in my journal. Here it goes:

I have several pet peeves. A lot of them. and honestly I do have A.D.D., so having a lot of choices really freaks me out. Freaks me out in that I don’t know what to focus on and so my mind just spins around and around out of control (where it stops? nobody knows). But I’m on medication so let me just focus for a moment. Ok. Pet peeve #1: I absolutely hate the fact that my family can not pick up after themselves. Ever. They leave all kinds of stuff laying (learned the proper use of that word today!) around. I can tell exactly how it happens, too:

They got up in the morning - probably late. They made toast - left the bread bag open. Put butter on the toast - left the butter out. Thought to themselves that Jam must sound good - dipped the knife into the jam haphazardly, spread it on their toast - oh, opps, some of it got on the counter - oh wait, I’ll make some eggs. I want some milk. I’m so late. And two hours later when I emerge from my haven of sleep and perfect order, BAMMMM!!! Their shit hits me in the face.

For next week I need to write another exercise. I’ll let you know how that goes and I may post it. I may not. This could get pretty intimate. Much more intimate than knowing who I plan on voting for and how I feel about gun control, Iraq, or even abortion. ‘Cause um - while all these things always mean so much at the time, they seriously aren’t as important to me as just what type of person you are and how you treat the people you love and how you demonstrate that you care about them. Fuck a “Party” - who are you? Seriously, who ARE you? Oh, and do you pick up after yourself. I could love anyone as long as they just pick up after themselves.

I’ll post my schedule some time this weekend. I’ll be up tonight for about 3 more hours hopefully. On Saturday I will be logged in during the late afternoon and again in the evening. Sunday we’ll play it by ear. Monday … um … haven’t thought ahead that far. I’ll keep you posted. Okay?

Talk soon.

So, who the hell do I think I am? I disappear off the face of the blog-o-phere for a little over a month and then just waltz on in like nothing is wrong. The nerve, eh? I can’t really speak for three of the four weeks of my disappearance. Come to think of it, I can. I was busy trying to find an excuse for where I’ve been. At first it was just an excuse for one day, but then led to twenty-one days. Yep. That’s where I was for twenty-one of the thirty or so days of my disappearance. What about the other seven? Like you had to ask! For the past seven days I have been sucked into the black hole some like to call The Olympics. Now some of you know exactly what I’m talking about because I haven’t seen many of you for a very long time either! I catch a few of your sleep deprived asses at the 24 hour grocery, loading up on the groceries after realizing one can not live on pancakes alone. Others I’ve beeped my horn at a few times after you’ve fallen asleep at various stop lights around town. Others of you have taken breaks in your Olympic viewing to give me a quick call, probably while the really interesting sports like Badminton are on. You certainly won’t be calling me up during Rhythmic Gymnastics or the ever popular sport, Synchronized Swimming, especially that team from Spain. Gotta love what batteries can do now a days, huh?

I tried to resist this whole Nationalist Patriotic Laughable Display Of Camaraderie. Sorry. It’s true. I never got into the whole cheerleader thing unless it was accompanied by an older male teacher-coach who, for special favors, elevated a not so talented Cheerleader to Head Bitch after a few exchanges after Cheer leading practice. I never was one to cheer for the home team until I was hoarse, and I didn’t like the whole sitting in the bleachers while the home football team clobbered an unfortunate team from the school down the street. I like sports alright, I’m just not an enthusiast. I was on the gymnastics team for too many years, as well as the dance team and the whole competitive stuff wore me out. I also did the whole debate team, music competitions and speech competitions, too. I liked all that stuff - emphasis on the word liked. Now I just get bored. Or so I thought.

One evening it happened. I walked into a room and the Olympic theme was playing. The fanfare of the trumpets called out to me, but I was strong and I kept on walking. I turned my head and the heat of the competition lured me in. I stopped in my tracks, watching the woman’s Volleyball. Wow. They were kicking some major ass. I felt the sand whip into my face as the opponents smashed the ball, forcing our sweet innocent ladies to dig into the sand, their bathing suit bottoms sliding painfully up their taunt asses. I screamed at the nerve of the opposing team, then while humming I’m Proud To Be An American, sat down on the couch forgetting all prior obligations. I had stepped too close to the black hole and I had as a result been sucked into its depths. I sat in the belly of that black beast until 2:00AM, vowing to myself to never get so close again.

I understand. I completely understand your pain. Some of you have been in the belly of that beast for a long time. You have bought stock in Visine, know exactly how many extra shots you need at Starbucks in order to make it through the day, and your wife, kids, dog, cat, or all of the above, have taken to the minute intervals of attention you can spare while the commercials play between the events. I am not here to judge you. I am here to offer you … absolution. In turn, perhaps you can forgive me for at least this past week. Deal?

The good news (at least for me) is that the Olympics are over on Sunday. We can all count how many medals we got (including those that we REALLY earned from the Chinese Gymnasts because we all know they are really only 11 years old!), pat ourselves on the back for being the biggest, toughest, strongest and almost the fastest (those Jamaicans… that’s right man!) people on the whole big Earth and focus on what is really important here in America: The Presidential Race and who is the biggest pop star.

School is about ready to start, I’m working on a masterpiece book, I’m still smoke free and walking every day (so I’m healthy and happy!), and I’m finally at long last feeling more like myself than before the operation. Kidding. Just sounded like a good sentence at the time. I really am feeling more like me though, just not because of any operation. It’s the drugs - definitely.

Enough of the jokes - quick thank you’s. And you know it’s been WAY too long you guys - so I may come back and edit this! I just wanted to thank some of you who didn’t forget about me even though I hadn’t written in this blog in a while.

Man Mountain, Cattekin, iluv69, Doug, Joe, Mark M, muzzle, Tiffy, and SBJ: Thank you ALL for the very generous tips!! (and for the subscription, Doug!!, the bracelet Mark, and the gifts D-train!) They were so unexpected and so very appreciated. Thank you so so so so much!

Chris, Zevon, Cattekin, CHburr, GreenLantern, ManMountain, Joe, redyder, stroker, Joe, iluv69, nothingbetterthanthis, bigdicforu, eminencefront, Danno, susieblue, sploosh, Tiffy, viewfromhere, britampa, jimbob, Tuls LagidorP EhT, Your phone number an, parkersan, bigmike23, whiteboots, SubbieMike, sinfully yrs, Allenawesome, drQ99, and Tomcat1066: Thank you all for your written positive feedback. Again, I know you didn’t have to - but you took the time to write a few words of praise and thanks and I really, really appreciate your generosity! Thank you a million times and then a million more!

That’s all I got for you tonight. I’m on and taking a few calls and hopefully I’ll be able to stay up for a bit. I had a late night last night, got up early and went to a block party this evening. All that sun, fun, pool, and pasta salad makes for a very sleepy CeCe - but I’m up for at least a few more hours!

Talk to you soon!

The Wise man built his house upon a rock. The Foolish man built his house upon the sand. Californians build their houses on hills - the higher the hill - the greater the mansion. They also build their houses on sand - or close to the sand. They also build their houses on fault lines. What I’ve learned from my time in Southern California is that when a disaster happens - be it an Earthquake, Mudslide, Landslide, Fire …. no Californian is actually surprised. No one actually feels like a victim here. Most of the time they build another house on the same plot of land that “betrayed” them earlier. Sometimes the news shows an old man hosing down his home with a look of almost peaceful determination on his face. If he is interviewed he will tell you that he has been through this how ever many times and that it passes over and will be okay. He may even say that this is the “price” he has paid by having a great winter - or living in such a beautiful state near the ocean or whatever other bonus Southern California has to offer.

Many people know the dangers of building their houses on “sand” around here. They love the view that the hillside has to offer them. And those of us not wealthy enough to build ontop of a hill, stay in the “valley” coveting thy neighbor’s house who can afford to be up high away from it all. Californians view beach-side property, not as some risk, but as a sign of wealth. Surviving fires, earthquakes, mudslides, etc. becomes this badge of honor; a badge you wear to show how tough you are, like shoveling your way out of your driveway after a blizzard in Minnesota.

I’d like to be wise. So I’ve started looking around for states with no disasters. I’ve come up with Nevada (sand?). I’m open to suggestions.

School has been canceled for tomorrow again and I’m not that upset about it. Actually, I’m ready to be doing something other than watching the news that has taken over network television around here. Our TiVo has been taping all our “shows” but when we actually watch “The Bachelor” it’s just the same news they have been showing around here for over 24 hours now. I’ve been napping all day - I’m not really depressed as I am just exhausted. The air is heavy and the atmosphere is filled with such heaviness - I’m not sure at this point if it’s more emotional weight or pollution. Maybe it’s a combination of both. Our backyard is a graveyard of palm tree branches, leaves, ash, and lawn furniture. There is a mighty wind for a bit that then changes into this eerie silence. And the sky… the sky is ugly. Another day absorbing all these things doesn’t appeal to me much. If there is still no threat tomorrow I may take in a movie, log in for some calls, take Jackson for a drive, or run some errands now that some of the stores are reopening. I have to do something other than watch the news and listen to the sad tales from people who have lost their homes.

I have received such a great outpouring of support, prayers, and well wishes from many of my callers. I so appreciate that! It is so helpful to just hear that people are thinking about you. I took a few calls today and even though many of my callers had their “needs” - and hearing about the fires really didn’t fit into the fantasy much (though firemen fantasies with their big hoses could fit into practically any fantasy, don’t you think?), they still took the time to ask me how I was doing. That is actually very sweet of you guys. Thanks so much!

I better run. I’m staying in the main house for the past few nights due to the air quality out here in the guest house. Also the guesthouse is under the palm tree that seems to be ridding itself of its extra branches quite often… they aren’t too heavy but the sound they make when they fall is a bit daunting. Thanks again for all the kind thoughts, emails, prayers, and phone calls. xoxo.

I cried when I moved to California. My boyfriend at the time had broke up with me and I remember when he broke up with me it was the first time I had ever felt… destroyed. I had had other “boyfriends” before - but this is the first boy that I ever really loved. He stuck by me through all kinds of harsh realities of my teen life - and we would sit by the river and I’d watch him take pictures. Yeah - he was a photographer who drove a grand am. *sigh*. Beyond all that - he just was a really sweet person. He was quiet, like my favorite brother, and drank mountain dew that he kept in the trunk of his car. In a cooler. I’m not lying. He was cool. And he had a car. That bears repeating. It was a nice car. Had to say it again.

Somehow he knew I needed to leave, though, and he figured that if he broke up with me I would leave quicker. I think he thought it would be easier for me.

The day I was going to make my decision he confessed that he didn’t really love me. It felt like some scene from Pretty In Pink - when Molly Ringwald confronts Andrew McCarthy and calls him a liar when he says that he doesn’t love her basically. I hit Ken. I hit him so hard my hand hurt. I hit him right in the chest - unknowingly aiming for his heart because I felt at that moment that he had broken mine. I swear that was the first time I had ever cried over a boy. I just existed for days and when I remembered to breathe this pain would just fill my body and I’d start to cry all over again.

I was homesick for years. But I never went back to Minnesota. I never went back to the little mini apple - and I never spoke to Kenneth G. again.

Minneapolis is a little town that should be painted purple. Purple for Prince. You gotta know and love Prince to understand all that. The city I lived in had a “downtown” but I had never been downtown until I went to the Twin Cities. Once I was there - I thought I would never leave. The Mississippi River acts like some sort of border that meanders through that city quietly and steadily. The winters are horrible there (which is part of the reason I moved to warmer state) and the winds that come off of the lakes and the river could freeze hell in an instant. I remember walking over bridges in Minneapolis in the winter time and praying that I wouldn’t freeze by the time I reached my destination. Wind in Minnesota can chill your bones in a matter of a moment.

But I felt safe there. Broken hearts, and cold ass walks across bridges, and purple rain be damned - I have never loved a city as much as I loved Minneapolis - and I doubt I ever will.

When I heard the news that a bridge had collapsed in Minneapolis my heart felt like it was breaking all over again. I stayed up all nite last night - calling frantically and finally reaching my family that had just left for Minneapolis Airport a little less than a week ago before. Having reached them, I read to them the chilling news from the internet; they had recieved news but surprisingly the news from my little lap top was more complete than the news from the local television station. I have cousins that cross that bridge monday thru friday on their way to work. I have teachers who live in that city and uncles that work across the river at the Universities. I have memories shot through a camera lense by a boy who broke my heart just a few short years ago. It is a tragedy that hasn’t quite hit me yet - but I feel myself a bit numb because of it.

Earlier today as I left for school a neighbor ran out to the street to speak to me. He’s from Minnesota, too. Surprisingly there are a lot of people here that lived there once upon a time. Before he opened his mouth to speak I told him that my family was fine. Yes - I spoke to them. No they were miles away from the bridge when it collapsed. Yes, I would tell them he asked about them. Yes, there are a few people we haven’t heard from yet, but I’m sure they are going to be fine. Yes - it is horrible what happened. Yes - I understood that they were now RECOVERING bodies and no longer RESCUING them. Yes, it’s important to live each day like it may be your last. Yes, I need to tell people more often that I love them. Yes, I love you too. Yes, I’ll tell you if I have any more news from Minnesota. Yes, if I need anything I’ll be sure to call. Yes, I’m still in shock and can’t believe it happened.

No, I can’t believe that it happened.

Minneapolis - my heart aches for you.

So, as my last post stated, I have been busy de-cluttering my life. I figured I’d start in my room and have been going strong for the past 2 days. You would think my room was huge, huh? It’s not - I just havehad a lot of stuff that I just wasn’t using anymore. I’ve packed up a few boxes to bring to Good Will tomorrow - and I have my loft left to go. I’m thinking that by Monday I should be pretty much in the clear. Thank God. This has been a bigger task than I had initially anticipated.

I so enjoyed opening up drawers and tossing things into the trash, though. I figure if I haven’t worn something in the past 2 months I’m not going to start now - summer clothes the only exception to the rule. Mismatched socks I keep waiting to be reunited with their better half? Toss. Panties that have holes in them? Toss. Tank tops that have seen better days? Toss. Lingerie that reminds me of my last boyfriend? Burn then Toss. LOL! I am a tossing fool. I also went thru my books and decided which books to keep and which to give away - and I decided to part with a few of my books from the courses I took at a nearby college this summer. I know that I could sell them back for a fraction of the price I paid for them - but many of my books aren’t even going to be used next year. I figure SOMEONE will want them at the Good Will. Let them collect them and bring the “stuff” back to their home - I’m finished with it.

So after a few last hours of sorting (this time thru markers, pens, and colored pencils) I’m done. The rest of this is going to have to wait until tomorrow. The good news? I think I’ve done enough that I finally feel like writing. I’m not completely over my writer’s block that has been sitting on my shoulders for the past … what? 3 days now? But I feel it decreasing in size quite a bit. The stuff has been cleared and has made a way for inspiration, I think. I feel it coming… mmmmm…. YEAH!!!

Before I go for the evening - let me just give a few “howdies” and “how do you dos” to a few people who have gently interupted my whole clean sweep mission with some great calls/tips/letters.

To 2 n’s who is in Scotland flirting with the lasses and wearing kilts for the next two weeks: Thank you so much for the gifts. I know they are on their way - and they are not yet in my capable hands - but THANK YOU. I have cleared the way on my bookshelf for them (lol! Come on - I KNOW you’re getting me books!) and I can’t wait to see what you have recommended for me this time!

To clue everyone else in on what has been happening: I have started to collect lists of books from my callers who love to read. What you can do (at any time and in any order) is send me a list of some books that you think are books that everyone should read. I don’t want to know what books are on the best sellers list or whatever - I want to know what books you find instrumental/noteworthy/important. I’m not saying that I will necessarily read every book on your list - but I’m curious to know what everyone is reading. I also need to read more so I’m starting a little CeCe book club of sorts. You can send the list you’ve created to celinawetdreams (gmail address) if you feel so inclined to do so. K. Thanks!

Um - I have officially become a little “band aid” I think! What should I name you? I think I’m going to name you, “gently weeps” - as in “my guitar gently weeps”. Yeah. GW for short, k? k.
So GW is on tour and has a roomie! (giggles). So my pictures are currently keeping him company since there is no way he can tell his roomie to get the hell out of the hotel room so he can phone bone his online band aid! I just find that so… Almost Famous-y. I’ve never slept with a band member before, either. Not an “official” band member. We (GW&I) became acquainted a few days ago and we hit it off rather nicely. He has the kind of fantasy that I love - and after our fantasy he actually held onto it by telling me that he was going to keep his eye on me from his house across the street. I love it when I can continue on with the fantasy even after the call has “ended”. “UNBELIEVABLE… I am breathless. I cannot speak, walk, or even stand. That was truly perfection. “ Thank you so much, GW. You’re perfect, too! Can’t wait to hear all about your tour when you get home!

To my somewhat disobedient panty boy (where are the measurements and stats, little one?) who I talked to nearly a week ago now: YOU are FUN! I have actually considered starting a new listing - even though “anything goes” pretty much covers all bases. I think a nice little feminization listing will do my spirit (and body) good!! If I can instruct little panty boys who dress up in women’s clothing as I’ve instructed you - the world will be a much prettier place. Like I said - I LOVE projects - and makeovers are my speciality! The thought of having you in front of me - and my M.A.C. products lined up in a row - and dipping my make up brushes into pretty colors that will transform you into the perfect little slut is more than I can stand! Now if you can just go ahead and send me your inventory so I can give you a shopping list - things can move on ahead to the next stage! Excellent call! She has an amazing voice and is very knowledgeable about various fetishes and kinks. i will be calling again. Thank You. Why thank you ever so much, pretty one. Now - stop procrastinating, say bye to your little girlfriend as she trots to work not ever guessing in a million years that you’ll be in her closet dick in hand, and get me my lists so we can go shopping!

Seems the piictures continue to be a popular “aid” (lol!) to our phone encounters, too! These are some of the BEST pics of CeCe I have seen. They are so fucking HOT. Seeing her use that glass dildo. Watching her open her sweet pink pussy wide open. I’m still shaking. I put on the slide show loop and just watched and jerked off. Her pics got me so hot. I came hard, I mean real hard. Just had to log back and tell you how great they were, but my hands are still shaking its hard to type. Joe sure liked them!! I didn’t even realize that one could put them on slide show - but now that I think about it … what a WONDERFUL idea!!! I happen to like the glass dildo set particularily well. I have to get some pics of me using my favorite toy, soon - but in the meantime all you boys should probably check out the picture set of the … month? lol! The glass dildo was an old favorite that I tend to neglect because of Mr. Hitachi - but I may just have to break him out of his cell (drawer) next time dear sweet Joe calls! You can put on the slide show again, Joe, while I play with that dildo on the phone with you at the same time. Won’t THAT be a good time?

Can I mention one more person before I close for the evening…? She’s amazing! Cece, I feel a level of intimacy with you that should be impossible in this format. Thank you!
I feel the same way, Sweetie! I say it so much that sometimes even I get sick of hearing it - but here I go again: I’m way lucky. I’m only able to give myself so intimately, G.L. because you’re able to give of yourself so intimately. You make it incredibly easy, absolutely fabulous, and tremendously exciting to have these fantasies with you. In addition to being one of my very first callers - you are one of my sweetest callers, too. Thank you so much for your sweet and generous feedback.

As always - to those I may have not named - you have not been forgotten. Check your emails later on (by the end of this weekend for sure) for something very special. I know I didn’t “have” to - but neither did all of you who saw to give me sweet words just because you were so moved to. Just a little “tit” for that. *slaps knee* I’m so clever sometimes!

Ok - I gotta get to bed. I have a trip to good will tomorrow with my family - and I have more last minute cleaning to do before I get to sit back and admire all my hard work. Then I also am going to work on a few recordings tomorrow - and finish up a few things here on the site, too. (Oh Teeeeeeeee… I’m finally handing in my homework!!!). (On an aside: Have any of you noticed who’s site is FEATURED on Tee’s designing page? Yup - that would be your cute little CeCe!! Coolio Beans!!!) And yes, I’ll be taking calls off and on tomorrow. More than likely in the morning - then back on again from the evening to late late evening. I’m NOT going to go out - I have to start organizing myself for 2nd summer session - and then Fall Semester at college. Maybe I’ll get to take more ORAL examinations tomorrow. (wink wink nudge nudge). I’m always game for playing school!