There are some holidays that make me nostalgic much more than others. I know that the typical holiday that would bring tears to eyes and cause people to break out the ole family albums and weep for yester-years would be Christmas - but Christmas has never been my favorite holiday. Perhaps it’s the crowds that you have to fight thru - and the presents you have to figure out to buy for people - and trying not to look too disappointed when your grand mother gives you another pair of home made mittens (with strings attached to them so you don’t lose them - which was cute when you were 5 - but just plain obnoxious at age 15…). It could be that the holiday just isn’t any fun when you’re still too small for the grown up table and too old for the kiddie table and are forced to cut up the ham for your nieces and nephews at the not even stable card table that inevitably falls over at some point of the festivities. Nah - Christmas isn’t my most favorite of holidays - even though Silent Night sung in my father’s church in 4 part harmony over candle light does make up for everything I mentioned before (yes, even Grammy’s mittens).

The holiday that makes me the most homesick for MN has to be The 4th of July. Hands down. With a big huge slice of watermelon on the side. I LOVE the 4th. I love everything about it - even the loud fireworks and the smell of hair burning when it gets a bit too close to the sparklers.

At the lakes when I was younger, I would wake up as early as I could and just about jump out of my skin for the day to begin. EVERYONE came to our house for the holiday: Grandparents, Cousins, Aunts, and neighbors who knew that we knew how to throw a big party. When the cars were parked up and down the drive way and spilled onto our lawn - the kids would gather and change into our swimsuits. We would spend the rest of the day and evening in them, eating watermelon and corn on the cob and jumping into the lake to “wash off” afterwards. There would be waterskiing and “tubing” and swimming out to the raft that sat waiting for us in the middle of the lake. I have no idea what the grown ups would do - they wouldn’t even really watch us very much until we needed them to pull us in the speed boat and then only if my brothers, who were old enough to do it on their own, were otherwise occupied (smoking pot in the treehouse, sneaking beers from the cooler, or sneaking peeks at the always present gorgeous friend one of the cousins brought along for the holiday).

This 4th will be spent at a body of water - but nothing like the lake. I am not going to get into a whining type of fit here - but I just have to say a few things: The ocean is nothing like a lake. Oceans make waves that are angry. The waves crash up on the shore and deposit things on the sand while taking a bit of sand and debris back with it. The ocean - at least here in Southern California - is dirty, and having a mouthful of the ocean and accidentally swallowing a few cup fulls, could result in a few days of paranoia of what type of disease you’ve infected your body with. I’ve never seen a person swim in an ocean in southern California. I’ve seen people run into the ocean and just as quickly run back out again - but I haven’t seen a person actually swim and submerge themselves in it…at least not on purpose. No matter how many people pee in a lake the water is still clear. And we drink it often. Saves the trip up the steps to get a soda is our motto. The fish in the lakes in Northern MN are safe to eat and you can actually figure out what type of fish it is. Sunfish. Trout. Bullheads. I once was at the Santa Monica Pier and saw someone fishing. I waited while the fisherman and his son pulled and tugged and reeled in their catch. When they had finally succeeded in pulling their “catch” from the ocean’s depth - I gasped. I’m serious. I gasped. And then I said, “What is that?” and the fisherman answered me. He said, with this look of fear on his face, “I don’t know.” It seemed to be living, so it wasn’t a dead body, old shoe, or waste or anything like that. But it was some type of ocean creature that one could not eat - and I wondered how in the hell he was going to take it off his hook. Whatever “bait” he used, I hope he got rid of it. A simple worm in the lakes of MN would have yielded a fish big enough to feed a … you know what? Let me stop. Let me just stop.

So tomorrow my family and I will be going to a beach house about 10 feet away from the ocean. If that. It reached 108 today and at the beach it will be closer to 70. The sand will be hot - but the mist generated by those somewhat angry waves will make everything comfortable. The family that has invited us will have lots of delicious food like corn on the cob and watermelon and chicken and every flavor of chip imaginable. We’ll probably fight with the little kids over who gets to sit in the hot tub next, and I’ll have the seasonal fight with Mr. K who always threatens to pull me into the ocean while sand finds its way into orfices it has no business even seeing. I think I’ll bring along a book - or two, my journal and of course my ipod and all these things will stay in my beach bag (along with the sunscreen I wished I had pulled out) the entire time. I’ll probably bring along guitar hero which is like the best game E-V-E-R and we’ll wrap up the evening by playing Charades (which is a very competitive game among people who feel they should have been actors and actresses) and we’ll fall asleep on the drive back (but hopefully not the person who is driving) after 10 or more hours soaking up the sun and the ocean breeze. It isn’t quite like memories from growing up - but it comes mighty close and beats sitting inland gasping as the dry heat sucks up every bit of energy and compassion you have.

I hope that everyone enjoys their 4th - in whatever way you decide to celebrate it. Try not to get annoyed at the firecrackers that go off on your street long after midnight - and eat a nice piece of juicy watermelon and think of me. If you can. Let the juice just run down your hand and over your mouth until you are sticky and then either jump in a pool, lake, ocean, or shower to clean off. But more important than any traditions you may partake in - be safe. Be safe and be careful and return back home rested, tanned, and … well, horny. I’ll be back either late July 4th, or by the 5th. Look for me.

Celebrity fit club. I like seeing transformations in people. This Sunday I look forward to what can only be described as the fight of the century. I hope Dustin goes down. Screech has problems. They should have made sure he had a girlfriend in SAVED BY THE BELL and then maybe he wouldn’t be so bitter and desperate today. Ugh.

I enjoy my little pay per view movies. Put in some money - and ta dah! Instant pleasure. I have thought about giving a link and maybe being an affiliate - but I’m really scared that my customers would enjoy it more than their talks with me. Seriously. They are that good.

I secretly am relieved that Jerry F. is gone. I don’t tend to hate many people - but I enjoy hating the things that they stand for and believe in when it puts down several groups of innocent people. It’s not kind to speak of the dead, Jerry, so I’ll spare you. You should have done the same when proclaiming that the huge number of gay men who died of aids “deserved” it. Shame on you. If indeed your beliefs are right, by the way, what did you do wrong to die so suddenly at such a relatively young age? Hmmmm? blah.

There are these grapefruit and peach candies that I enjoy TOO much that I get sent to me by my friend in Japan. I get tons and tons of them - and I sit down and suck off all the sugar from the candies before chewing up the chewy goodness of them. It takes me minutes to devour a bag. All the things I know about sugar consumption does nothing to stop the madness. I will eat the sour yet sweet morsels until my tongue grows numb and the sugar high sends me thru strange and exciting moods.

And then there are pictures. Pictures of my family when they were growing up. Pictures of my mother when she was a little girl intrigue me. Pictures of how things use to be - pictures of intimate moments that weren’t suppose to be captured - like my grandmother ruffling my grandfather’s hair while he bends over to inspect their car during their honeymoon.

Barry Manilow. Guilty. John Denver. Guilty. Cat Stevens. Guilty. Bread. Guilty as charged.

My hitachi wand, The Deans Office, and loose leaf college ruled paper - combined into a typical yet tantalizing fantasy - guilty as hell.

I’m finding that those friends that are closest to me not only share many of these same pleasures, but have some of their own to add to the pile. On the phone we can sift thru them all - laugh and breath sighs of relief when we realize that we are definitely NOT alone in them - and look forward to maybe creating a few guilty pleasures of our own.

Thank you for allowing me to be one of your guilty pleasures….

I have a few minutes - So I’d like to offer my unsolicited opinion on a few newsworthy items:

• Paris Hilton - I think she’s disgusting. She evokes all kinds of nasty verbage from my throat - like SLUT - and TRAMP - and anorexic foul mouthed spoiled bitch. (somehow that made me feel a bit like my name was pot and I was calling the kettle black…)
  I’m sorry that she is so damn spoiled that she can’t read the note that says YOU CAN’T DRIVE BIATCH - so maybe since she is so spoiled that she can’t read her own judgements - she can now go to jail and learn to read the sign above her bunk that tells her that Helga down the block wants her tiny ass for breakfast. And while we’re at it - don’t think for a moment that even though Paris and her sex tapes and smelly c..t muscle gives me the creeps - I still don’t mind having the fantasy that many American Men probably share with me - and that is - a nice prison guard shoving his nightstick thru the bars and up her little hole while she sucks off Helga’s strap on shlong. Yea, I went there. Shocked?
• David H. from Bay Watch - Damn damn damn. I know booze is from the devil when you’re eating your (what looks like) In and Out burger off the bathroom floor while your 14 year old daughter tapes you. Before I go kinky here - let me just make it abundantly clear to all who read that having your daughter take responsibility for your fucked up ness is just not a good idea. It just isn’t. If you don’t want to drink - then maybe you should have cameras up in your house recording you 24/7 - and then when you fall off your little red bay watch wagon - the cameras will already be there in force to record you. Why make your daughter responsible to do it? She’s too young to be your savior - and you should really be the adult here. Everyone else can sit and moan about how bad drinking is and how you know you have a problem when blah blah blah - but I’m concerned about the role you put your little daughter in. Shame on you Mr. H from Baywatch. Running along the beach in slo motion didn’t teach you a damn thing about fatherhood, I see. So yeah. Taping an older man and using that against him in order to get whatever I want …. that fantasy has been playing on repeat in my mind since this whole story aired. Uff dah.
• Alec Baldwin. Or is it ALEX? Whichever/whomever/whatever. You’re gonna get irrate at you and Kim’s seed and yell all kinds of stupid shit about teaching her a lesson and her being a pig, was it? Are you serious, Mr. Baldwin? Now you know I love you. I happen to think you’re pretty hot. And as disgusted as I was about you yelling at your daughter on the phone - um… it did make me a bit hot at the same time. And I don’t play submissive well. But let’s back up a moment: You left it on a tape for the world (Itube) to listen in on. You’re an actor. Don’t you realize the power (by now) of film and audio and how timeless it all is? Then you go on the view and sit next to Rosie and the other not so important chicks and you think that their maternal instincts is gonna make it all better for you? You’re sitting next to the answer to your problems, Mr. B. and you don’t even realize it. Yes - Rosie. She’s not really all that attractive, really, right? Kinda cute and has a GREAT personality. She’s funny (which you should enjoy) and though she doesn’t spread food around her body like good ole Kim - I’m sure she enjoys a great meal from time to time. Look at her. LOOK AT HER!!!! You should have married someone like Rosie. Because obviously you can have no sense when it comes to attractive sexy women. If you had married someone a bit more … NORMAL looking - then you probably wouldn’t be getting all psycho on your daughter that you share with good ole Kim B. You married the most beautiful woman in the whole universe really - and married a woman that all kinds of men were beating off to daily - and this is where it got you. Insanely angry and bitter and alone. Marry yourself a normal girl who will take care of you - and then spend some of your hard earned money calling some of the “kim b’s” on niteflirt for your little fix. There is truth to the song, “If you want to be happy for the rest of your life…” Think about it. The kink factor? I have my fantasies of fucking a man who has “settled” right along with every other attractive girl like me. For a shopping spree every now and then I might even let you say naughty things to me on my answering machine……..

I feel much better having gotten that off my chest…. Forgive me for being so politically incorrect. or don’t.

Sometimes the women I train at the gym are absolute drama queen bitches. I mean that affectionately. I love women -or I should say - I love OLDER women. Women that are around my age are extremely … catty and competitive. But I find that women around 30-60 are pretty relaxed and know that I’m pretty much not a threat to them. Unless their husbands are calling up niteflirt, that is. Then it might be a completely different story. But for the sake of my post - let’s say that their husbands are NOT on my customer list.

My job is to help motivate them (the women at the gym not their husbands). We talk about things that really make us happy inside. We may bitch and moan about diet and fads and the latest what shouldn’t you eat because you’ll die food item - but secretly we are getting moist in our little yoga pants. Trust me on this. Nothing makes a woman happier than talking about food and diets. Try it out next time you’re on a date.

Tonight was like any other nite. I was working by myself in the circuit area - and I was helping a few ladies train. It’s up to me to know instantly what is good for abdominal core work (planks planks planks!) and what can I do about strengthening my thighs? (squats squats squats) and CeCe - I have a lot of pain in my lower back … what can I do to help myself out here? (CORE CORE CORE). Most of the women are really quite sweet though - and honestly just need a little ass kicking to get them moving. It’s up to me then - to move with them. This usually means in a 4 hour shift I’ve done about 50 planks, 100 squats (stationary and weighted ones) - 200 lunges - and I don’t know - a trillion and a half fricken abdominal work outs. Hey - I have to lead by example, don’t I?

As I was leading a rather chatty woman thru her advance work out - a few ladies decided to talk about an incident that had happened at a local school. Apparently there is a … predator on the loose. He has a rather unique approach as well. Talking to the girls about crime watches and needing their help identifying potential drug lords in the area or something. Pretty damn original - but kinda scary outside of the scope of NF and fantasy play. (watches some of her callers writing down the scenario). Ok. So seriously…it kind of freaked me out - even though I was trying to (of course) find an angle that would work, too. I’m not gonna lie. Ok - but THENNNN… a few of the ladies started to freak me out. Told me that in the very area that I work there were a few reported rapes - and that I shouldn’t be walking to my car alone that evening. Alrighty then. I started to freak out. They went into detail - and I won’t supply it here - I just can’t do it. but it just so happened that my parents went out of town this weekend - and gave me explicit instructions to lock up - sleep in the main bedroom - let the dog out of the crate - loc the doors but leave the lights on - etc. etc. All of these instructions came flying back to me while the ladies went on and on about the horrid crimes that had been going on in the area.

Why do women find the need to do this? I mean - they know I’m just a sweet little thing that couldn’t really hurt a fly physically - anyways - and they are going to throw this at me in the middle of the evening? Just bitchy drama queens, I swear. I just stood there counting off the reps and staring at this lady like - “what the ffffffff??!!” while she was talking. She sort of caught herself - and said something lame-o like, “Oh, CeCe - you’ll be fine. You are parked next to the door, right?” No you mean bitter old woman - I am parked on the other side of the huge parking lot under the light that has been out for the past decade - thankyouverymuch!

Now - I had alot of homework to do last night. And thankfully I have lots of people I can call to help me with homework. LOL. But after my tutor did his duty and abandoned me - and after one of my best friends zonked out, too - I found myself - ALONE. (dum dum duuuuuuuum)

It is now about 4:40AM - and I’ve purposely stayed on as long as possible. I’m not sleeping tonight - because I’m sure that when I do some maniac is going to bust into my house - feed the so not a watch dog Willis a chicken wing or something - go to the Master Bed room and …

I couldn’t sleep under such conditions. I just couldn’t.

I’ll sleep later after school. Speaking of which - I have about 10 more pages to read of my Anthropology before 7:30AM - so I better get going. I do need to stop at Starbucks for the largest possible coffee ever, too - or I’ll never stay awake for the 8 hours that is required of me at school. Wish me luck.

Oh - and I’ll be up again all nite (after I sleep all day) tomorrow. My parents aren’t going to be back until later Sunday. I sure hope they don’t feel guilty when they come home to find me missing or …

I’m teasing. I’m sure I’ll be fine…

But I am just a tad bit freaked out.

I am so excited!  I - and my dear dear sweet sweet friend “Lucy” and a host of others…(a boy I will more than likely fuck and a host of older possibilities!) are mere hours away from my very FIRST cruise E-V-E-R!! I have spent this whole week preparing for the festivities.  I was a bit scared at first that I wouldn’t have a nice time - or that I wouldn’t have saved up enough money to have a great time - but thanks to all my loyal fans and new found lovahs (hehe) I will have plenty of cash-ola to make this trip a success.  I mean, I could always have more…but things could have been much worse for me.  What other job could I have where I could not only AFFORD to take a trip for 5 days - but also be allowed to ask for that time off?!

I will be going around California enjoying the coast - swimming in the pool in my new bikini, tantalizing all the old men who are there with their fat, unattractive wives (oops - did I write that outloud???!!!) and dressing up and going on little tours with the other happy people on Royal Carribean!  I can not wait I can not wait I can not wait. 

So a few of you may be asking yourselves right now  - “CeCe!!! What in the world are you doing up so late?!  Shouldn’t you be getting lots of rest?” To which I would answer you, “No, silly Mister!  Tonight is for tying up loose ends, being on line to catch all you poor men who have to work this week before I take off - Packing and curling my hair for the big take off - and making sure my listings are all in order. Besides - I’m young.  I don’t need much sleep, silly old man!!” *wink*

Speaking of listings - as I was updating my pictures that were VERY late! (sorry about that… I would run a special because of my negligence, but I am not.  Reason following….) I realized a HUGE mistake!!!  HUGE mistake that probably cost me … I don’t know - at least 100 bucks - if not more.  All the pictures - all 5 of the pictures for January - were linked incorrectly.  Yeah.  Don’t look surprised.  I know that at least 3 of you that are reading this are ACTING surprised only to erase the guilt that is underneath that feigned expression!!.  Basically what this all boils down to in non niteflirt language is this:  A few of you saw the pictures FIRST - and then decided NOT to pay.  If I had linked them correctly you would of had to pay FIRST - and thennnnnn you would have seen me in all my black and red sexy undie glory.  Hmph.  Well, tonight when I uploaded the new set for February - I fixed that little mistake quick fast and in a hurry.  Not that it will do any good - but maybe a few of you will do the right thing and have mercy on my cute little 18 year old BROKE ass and pay me what you owe me.  Looking at me isn’t free you dirty old men!!! *hehe*

I thought that I might have time to actually fix some things on this site as well.  But I don’t.  I have other things that are far more important at 2:51AM - the morning of my departure.  What I will say is:  If you find yourself missing me - and you need a quick cheap way to get off until I return - here are a few suggestions!

For all you anything goes men who like the idea of catching me playing with toys after school while you peek in on the action - listen to my recording of me and my Hitachi Wand.  I’m honestly surprised that you all haven’t heard it yet.  Only 5 people so far have even listened to it, I think, and it’s by far the best recording I have ever done.  Not that I’m a pro - but dang.  I CAME while masturbating with Mr. Hitachi Wand.  Can anything be hotter? (the answer to that would be NO!).  Here is a link to make it easier… Mr. Hitachi Man.  Listen to that.  I’m serious.  The second thing that you can do if you miss me is to simply go speak to a cutie - like me - who is sure to give you a good time.  Variety IS the spice of life, ya know!!! — Cuties!

So I will be back.  I have this whole week off, so I’ll be working off all my sexual left over energy on the phone Friday Evening, Saturday Evening, and Sunday.  Be sure to welcome me home like a good Captain should…

All Aboooooooooard!