My 4 legged Maltese Son Jack has been acting up the past few days. At first it was just little things, the occasional nip at the ankle – living up to little dog nick names (ankle biters). Then it proceeded to taking shoes of the family out the doggy door. And when all of these things resulted in further ignoring and punishing withdrawing of love and attention, Jackson started barking at trees for minutes, refusing to "come" when called, and basically being a spoiled dog. I decided that I had to put my foot down once and for all (away from his teeth) and nip his behavior issues in the bud.
After my spin class I stopped by the bike store and picked up my first pair of bike shoes (I tried them out for the first time on Wednesday. What a difference they make. Of course I was immediately stuck on the pedals and couldn’t get unstuck for a minute which was embarrassing…). As I was going home, I passed a dog care center and stopped in for a look.
Jackson will need to fill out an application (I mean I will have to fill out an application) and then go through a screen process (Jackson will – I am pretty sure I would be able to play nicely with others, even if they are dogs) and if accepted he will be allowed to play in the play group. I’m thinking one day a week will be a good thing for him. It’s about all I can afford at this point, and I just want him to get out some of his aggressions. Oh … let me stop lying. I seriously want Jackson to get his furry ass beat. I think if Jackson gets beat a little bit he’ll understand he doesn’t rule the world as I have told him from day one. *shrugs* A nice ass beating is all anyone really needs when they get full of themselves is my theory. Someone has to put his furry little ass in his place — towards the back of the line. I’m by no means dominant, but even I have had better luck with turning men into submissive subjects than I have had with Jackson. He’s determined to be the boss no matter what I say. See if the great dane can teach Jackson a thing or two about being alpha dog. Grabbing the application and a few brochures, I was pretty sure this was the place for Jackson and I. Wait a second…
"Do you by any chance have training here?" I asked the kind lady.
"Yes we do. The owner is an excellent trainer. She works with the clicker and uses praise and never raises a hand to the dogs."
Well… that will all change once they meet Jackson, I thought to myself.
"We also have dance class."
"Oh?"
"Yes. Dance class with the dogs. They have a great time and it’s really great exercise for dogs and their humans."
Dear God. "Wow… that sounds…."
"I know.. it seems silly." Silly was not the word I was thinking, but okay. Silly. "But the dogs really like it. The owner has won contests with her dog. They are really quite good."
Heading out of the door with promises that I would be back with the application & bribe money attached to it, I caught a few of the pictures on the wall. I didn’t see any dancing dogs, but I did see quite a few happy people with their dogs. It seemed clean and Mr. Great Dane seemed to be telling me that he’d take REAL good care of Jackson. In a non romantic sexual way. Not that there would be anything wrong with that.
With animals on the brain, I spoke to Mr. Location confused Karl. Somehow the topic came to talking with the animals, as in ‘What, Lassie? Timmy’s stuck in the well?’ talk to the animals. We started to name the animals that spoke to humans. Flipper, Lassie, Gentle Ben, Skippy. Skippy? I asked, laughing. Skippy, Karl insisted. And together we looked up this Skippy and found him playing the drums, playing the piano, gnawing through rope and cracking the codes on safes. A Kangaroo that gave kisses and wrapped his razor sharp claws around a poor unsuspecting child. Everyone should know by now that I am deathly afraid of Kangaroos. Skippy didn’t help. Hopping around like some Acid Tripped out Rabbit. Ugh.
Though I caught the repeats of most of the talk to the animal shows, I still tear up every time I see gentle ben and Grizzly Adams. It may be the beard (have a thing for those, remember?) or it might just be the Maybe song. Whatever it is … animals sure can cheer you up even as they frustrate the hell out you, can’t they? So in the spirit of … I dunno…Jackson getting accepted into Doggy Day Care (hopefully) I thought I would share some of the animals that we can talk to, who get us out of the jams, warn us of children stuck in wells, and entertain us with their musical and dancing abilities.
I will be logged in during the early afternoon tomorrow… then going to writing class. You can catch me on Friday Evening for sure. If you have a specific time you’d like to talk to me and are wondering if I’ll be around, you can always set up an appointment and I will get back to you as soon as I can to confirm.
Talk soon!
P.S. Mr. Counselor… thank you. I still can’t quite believe it. You understand.
P.P.S. Everyone else: I’ll explain in 5-7 days.
P.P.P.S. Happy Birthday to my best girlie friend in the world, Tee. I hate myself for loving you. It’s a strange kinky type of relationship.