Just a note to let you all know that I will be password protecting some of my posts. I’d like to write here more often, but truthfully, it unnerves me a bit that people who aren’t callers or fellow operators are able to read my more “sensitive” posts. There are subjects I don’t feel as comfortable discussing knowing that ‘whoever’ can happen upon my page and read to their heart’s content. There are certain things I share with you, specifically, and … well… no need to beat a dead horse (god, that’s one horrible figure of speech, isn’t it?), you all know what I’m talking about.

So – yeah. Hope your Easter was lovely. Mine was! I got to spend time with my family and church services were DELIGHTFUL! I seriously love Easter and Spring and new beginnings, and even the gentle send off of harsh winter, ice, and deathly cold. I know, I know, I live in California. But trust me, we all have our winters to endure – no one is immune.

Sorry it’s been a while since I’ve updated in here. I’ve been extremely busy. I’m working on a few projects and there’s school and family, and new friends (who have beach houses!). Stay tuned though – lots of changes in my life and I definitely want all of you to be a part of it. :X.

Oooh – there’s my phone! More later! xo.

I’ve caught up! Blog Every Day In February is officially back on track. Hallelujah.

I just got done emailing some of my friends from my last writing class at school. I had to tell them I wouldn’t be returning to campus as a student. I’ll still be doing some volunteer work (because, hey, I need these things on my application for schools!), but I won’t be attending school there. I’ll be working on my math class. Trying to get the damn stuff done already. I have one final math class, and I’m taking it off campus with my tutor.

A few years ago, I came across this porn movie with Gauge in it. She’s this blonde that is exceptionally gifted at anal sex. Actually she stands on her head and gets fucked in the ass which, hats off to you, Gauge, is impressive! The movie I first saw her in had the title Bring em Young. They said it was a university, and I thought it was just a porn thing. Clever, too, I thought. Cuz it actually sounded like it could be a real school. BYU.

Imagine my surprise when my tutor enrolled me in an independent studies class at BYU – Brigham Young University. I told Sarah Nanette last night that I didn’t think it was a real school! As a result, I keep saying the name wrong. Bringum Young. Ugh. My tutor is going to think I’m a bigger freak than he realized.

It was super hard not signing up for any classes. But I don’t need them. I signed up for classes last semester because I needed them and they would count towards my major. But enough is enough. I gotta get out of the small college in this now small town and head for greener pastures. And it’s really scary. I didn’t realize before how much I was clinging to the school. I didn’t realize how it had become a crutch for me. And I didn’t realize how sometimes, when bad things happen, it kind of keeps you stuck. Even if you’re miserable, there is a safety in being miserable and stuck. There are tons of reasons why I want to continue taking classes at my old school, but none of them are healthy reasons, I’ve realized. So… I’m moving on.

What this means for niteflirt is, I’ll probably have better hours. I’ll be more flexible during the next few months. And I’ll be working more because BYU ain’t cheap, to be honest. One class is costing the same as 4 classes at my old school. And that’s not including the books that I’ll need. I’m reviewing a previous class at the moment so I’m covered, but by next month I want to be enrolled.

This is the most adult thing I’ve done in a long time.
And it feels good.

My sleep pattern is so fucked up right now. I fell asleep a few hours ago, and now I’m awake. Like WIDE AWAKE. So I decided to watch USoT (United States of Tara) and see what the fuss was about. Um. They had me at different personalities. This show is … amazing! And Toni Colette (?) is hot. Seriously hot. AND she gets to play housewife, and Buck – and a 15 year old. I wonder what other personalities she has. Oh – and John Colbert (?) is in it, too. Which, um… BONUS squared!

I gotta try to get some rest or I’ll be sleeping through the super bowl. No. I won’t be watching. I’ll be painting my nails and talking to those of you who don’t like football. In other words, I’ll be painting my nails and watching USoT.

LeighAnn has a book on Sea Glass. Everywhere in this beach house are little containers, glass containers mostly,brilliantly colored by the pieces of glass held inside. There are turquoise pieces, clear, brown, and even the rarest of finds–gray.

Trish and I went on a 2 hour walk today along the beach. I wore leggings I could easily pull up right under my knee
(key for walking along the beach and being surprised by the occasional angry wave), an oversized sweater, and flip flops. I thought I could carry them when I walked along the sand and quickly put them back on when walking across the larger pebbles and stone little wall peninsulas. Trish opted for tennis shoes and jeans. The ocean saw this as a challenge, and I could almost hear it laughing as it sent huge waves after her, determined to make her feet and ankles wet.

I didn’t undersand why sea glass was so appealing. I looked at the large stones rubbed smooth by the ocean. In Minnesota they would be called skipping stones. Here in California they might be painted with zen like words on them, then carefully placed in someone’s garden, or a long a path. There are also plenty of quartz stones, and red stones filled with little tiny holes. And shells. Man are there shells. The shells are big, pried open by the water and lie nestled between seaweed and feathers. What the ocean washes up on the shore has always amazed me. But I never stopped to think about sea glass.

The first few pieces sent a tiny little thrill through me. And then I started to find more. Your eye sifts through the sand. The sun makes everything glisten, but then, something catches. And there it is. A piece of sea glass. I found a few blue pieces today. A lot of clear pieces. Plenty of brown pieces. I didn’t find red. Red is seriously rare. I would love to find a piece of red sea glass one day. Sea glass is so much more valuable when you find it. But I picked up a few pieces of glass for Leigh Ann. As a thank you for inviting me.

Several times the ocean took my treasures before I could put them in my pocket. I tried placing my foot over the glass, tried to anchor it down from the wave that wanted to abduct it, but when the water would go down, and my foot was removed, the piece of glass was gone. A few times my flip flop got stuck, and I’d pull up, trying to get my foot out of the sand. The ocean is a bully. But it’s so pretty, it’s hard to stay mad at it. During one of these tug of wars, I lost my shoe, and as the tide went back out, so did my shoe. I tried to lift my other foot, so that I could run after my now floating away flip flop, but my foot wouldn’t budge. So I (I know, I know) removed my foot from my shoe and pretty much ran after my other shoe now several feet away from me, floating on top of the water, pleading for me to save it. By the time I had reached my shoe, my other had been uprooted from it’s sandy nest. I stared out at the waves, expecting to find my other shoe floating. Somewhere. But no shoe. The ocean took my shoe. It didn’t even seem sorry about it. One Old Navy Flip Flop for 10 or so pieces of glass. I suppose it’s worth it.

It’s nearing 3:30 and we’re planning on leaving around 5:30PM. I’ve stayed much later than I thought, but that’s only because once you get here, it’s pretty fucking impossible to leave. I wish I could stay longer. I’d go for another walk along the beach, this time with Tennis shoes. I’d watch the sun set under the waves, and let the wind and salt rub all the stress and rough patches smooth.

I said that I’d log on tonight around 8:00PM, but my family wants to go out to dinner when I get home later. So I’ll log in probably closer to 10PM PST. I’m going to have to listen to the “wave” soundtrack on my iphone radio station thingee in order to sleep tonight. It hardly sounds like the real thing, but we make do with what we have.

I really wish you could have been here. You would have found it just as wonderful as I did. Let me not even talk about the great bed I got to sleep in last night. O. M. G. squared. Stay beautifully rare (like sea glass) until we speak…

I haven’t gone to bed yet, so I’m still counting this as the same day. Deal with it. As you can see by my title, I am at the beach. Ventura Beach to be exact, and if I could somehow attach a soundtrack to this blog, you would hear the waves crashing against the shore. It is absolutely beautiful. But let me back up for a minute…

I’ve started to write a lot lately, and 2 of my newest bestest friends, LeAnn & Trish are my partners in crime. Soon a boy will be joining us. His name is Sam. Our trio will be disrupted, but I think we will survive it. So anyway, our current threesome writes together every Tuesday and Thursday. This Thursday, LeAnn invited us to her parent’s beach house to hang out, listen to the waves, and drink cheap wine. Oh, and to write. I guess this will be something we will start doing once a month. I was going to log on, but I’m sure you’ll all understand why I couldn’t. Not this time. Maybe next time. Who knows, maybe LeAnn & Trish will pop on and say a quick hello. I’m not promising anything, though. I’ve told them a little bit about some of you and they are intrigued but rightfully cautious.

Tonight the waves are incredibly fierce. And they are loud. At first one might mistake the roar for traffic, but then you remind yourself…that’s the sound of the waves crashing against the shore, over and over again. I’m sitting at the main dining room table right now, looking out onto the Pacific Ocean, and the moon sometimes shines in just the right way, and I can see the white crest of the waves rolling in. Earlier I caught the sunset. I walked to one of the five balconies and leaned against the railing. I could feel the spray from the ocean, taste the salt in the air. Seriously, I’m so close I could throw a frisbee and hit the water. I could spit and hit…never mind. That’s a long shot. And good girls don’t spit.

I’m pretty sure I’ve died and gone to heaven.

Tomorrow we’ll take a walk on the beach, eat some breakfast, and then sit down and do a little bit of writing before driving back into the city. I hope I find some sea glass on the beach. It will be a great reminder of what has to be, an absolutely perfect day.

I’ll talk with you Tomorrow Evening around 8:00PM PST.