After my spin class I stopped by the bike store and picked up my first pair of bike shoes (I tried them out for the first time on Wednesday.  What a difference they make.  Of course I was immediately stuck on the pedals and couldn’t get unstuck for a minute which was embarrassing…).  As I was going home, I passed a dog care center and stopped in for a look.

Jackson will need to fill out an application (I mean I will have to fill out an application) and then go through a screen process (Jackson will – I am pretty sure I would be able to play nicely with others, even if they are dogs) and if accepted he will be allowed to play in the play group.  I’m thinking one day a week will be a good thing for him.  It’s about all I can afford at this point, and I just want him to get out some of his aggressions.  Oh … let me stop lying.  I seriously want Jackson to get his furry ass beat.  I think if Jackson gets beat a little bit he’ll understand he doesn’t rule the world as I have told him from day one.  *shrugs*  A nice ass beating is all anyone really needs when they get full of themselves is my theory.  Someone has to put his furry little ass in his place — towards the back of the line.  I’m by no means dominant, but even I have had better luck with turning men into submissive subjects than I have had with Jackson.  He’s determined to be the boss no matter what I say.  See if the great dane can teach Jackson a thing or two about being alpha dog.  Grabbing the application and a few brochures, I was pretty sure this was the place for Jackson and I.  Wait a second…

"Do you by any chance have training here?"  I asked the kind lady.

"Yes we do.  The owner is an excellent trainer.  She works with the clicker and uses praise and never raises a hand to the dogs."

Well… that will all change once they meet Jackson, I thought to myself.

"We also have dance class."

"Oh?"

"Yes.  Dance class with the dogs.  They have a great time and it’s really great exercise for dogs and their humans." 

Dear God. "Wow… that sounds…." 

"I know.. it seems silly." Silly was not the word I was thinking, but okay. Silly.  "But the dogs really like it.  The owner has won contests with her dog.  They are really quite good."

Heading out of the door with promises that I would be back with the application & bribe money attached to it, I caught a few of the pictures on the wall.  I didn’t see any dancing dogs, but I did see quite a few happy people with their dogs.  It seemed clean and Mr. Great Dane seemed to be telling me that he’d take REAL good care of Jackson.  In a non romantic sexual way.  Not that there would be anything wrong with that. 

With animals on the brain, I spoke to Mr. Location confused Karl.  Somehow the topic came to talking with the animals, as in ‘What, Lassie? Timmy’s stuck in the well?’ talk to the animals.  We started to name the animals that spoke to humans.  Flipper, Lassie, Gentle Ben, Skippy.  Skippy?  I asked, laughing.  Skippy, Karl insisted.  And together we looked up this Skippy and found him playing the drums, playing the piano, gnawing through rope and cracking the codes on safes.  A Kangaroo that gave kisses and wrapped his razor sharp claws around a poor unsuspecting child.  Everyone should know by now that I am deathly afraid of Kangaroos.  Skippy didn’t help.  Hopping around like some Acid Tripped out Rabbit.  Ugh.

Though I caught the repeats of most of the talk to the animal shows, I still tear up every time I see gentle ben and Grizzly Adams.  It may be the beard (have a thing for those, remember?) or it might just be the Maybe song.  Whatever it is … animals sure can cheer you up even as they frustrate the hell out you, can’t they?  So in the spirit of … I dunno…Jackson getting accepted into Doggy Day Care (hopefully) I thought I would share some of the animals that we can talk to, who get us out of the jams, warn us of children stuck in wells, and entertain us with their musical and dancing abilities.

I will be logged in during the early afternoon tomorrow… then going to writing class.  You can catch me on Friday Evening for sure.  If you have a specific time you’d like to talk to me and are wondering if I’ll be around, you can always set up an appointment and I will get back to you as soon as I can to confirm.

Talk soon!

P.S.  Mr. Counselor… thank you. I still can’t quite believe it. You understand. 

P.P.S.  Everyone else:  I’ll explain in 5-7 days.

P.P.P.S.  Happy Birthday to my best girlie friend in the world, Tee. I hate myself for loving you. It’s a strange kinky type of relationship.

Anyways – my friend, who I shall not name but anyone who knows me knows whom I am speaking, calls me up one day and is way upset. When she gets excited/mad her voice always raises up 2 more octaves and she sounds even more like Minnie Mouse with a ‘tude from the Bronx. It’s adorable.

“CeCe! He’s doing it again!”

“huh?” I ask – immediately turning down the volume on my phone to compensate for the volume of my friend. I turn it down to 5 and then after a moment turn it down to a two. It’s definitely sounding like a two volume conversation.

“He’s humping his pillow.”

“Ok – well … I guess these things happen.” I tell her in my most authorative voice. I remember reading something in Human Sexuality Class about masturbation in children – but not sure exactly what I read. Was it bad? Normal? A sign of something to come? (no pun intended)

“He’s doing it in the open in front of everyone.”

“Well… ok. Well that’s not so good then.” I say delicately while holding back my laughter.

“It’s not funny!”

Busted. “Ok – well – maybe you should just tell him to go into his room and do it.” I have no idea what the hell I’m talking about really. But I know my friend and she is upset. She probably said some things to her son that will forever scar him and I’m trying my best to do intervention with out sounding like I’m a know-it-all because I know nothing at this point. I’m not a Mom. Or I wasn’t then.

“I fuckin’ told him to stop fuckin his pillow!” My friend exploded. “His sister started laughing at him and told him he was gross.”

“But…” I interrupted passionately “He’ll get a damn complex! Do you want him calling up those lines and talking to a Mistress who will make fun of his thingee because that’s the only way he will be able to get off and it will all be because you made him feel ashamed of what is just natural?”

“Shut up, Ce!”

I could hear her softening on the other end and I continued carefully, “Masturbation is natural and it relieves stress! He just needs to do it in a more appropriate place. Can’t his daddy talk to him about it?”

“Shiiiiit” My friend sighed. It was a defeated “shit” though. Her anger was subsiding. “Maybe I should take his pillow away from him.” She considered.

“He’ll just find something else – and then he’ll learn to hide it and be ashamed of what he is doing instead of understanding there isn’t anything wrong with masturbating – he just needs to find a private place to do it because not everyone wants to see that kind of thing or somethin’.”

I was sounding more and more like a child therapist as the conversation went on. My friend must have thought so too – because she told me she would consider my advise and try harder to not freak out when her little boy was masturbating against various stuffed things in the house.

Before I took away Jackson’s manhood he was providing me with a certain sick sort of entertainment. He would take various stuffed animals – attack them – grabbing bits of their soft furry flesh in his teeth and shake the victim back and forth while making growling noises. Once he was sure they were …um … tamed (?) he would mount various parts of their bodies and go to work. Remembering my earlier conversations with my friend I decided to casually move the stuffed animal ala Jackson to a secluded part of the living room and go about my business. He would eventually stop and move on to other activities. I spoke casually about it to the Vet, relieved that he wasn’t humping people’s legs or other dogs in the doggy park (such things carry a serious stigmatization that aren’t easily discarded!) The vet insisted that once Jackson had the operation
he wouldn’t feel the need to do that often/ever. I had hope. At 6 months Jackson had the surgery and after he stopped glaring at me and his stitches healed he was back to doing the humpy dumpy. He had his favorite mates; The Zebra – an old child hood friend he hung out with, a toy bunny that he also had since he was 8 weeks old. Not “had” in that sense. Then there was the huge stuffed dog that I bought because I thought it would be cute if my little tiny doggy cuddled with a stuffed animal 5 times his size. Jackson prefers humping one of his legs and basically doesn’t even do the post-coital thing with the dog. He’s a love em fuck em and leave em kinda dog – what can I say?

I dealt with Jackson’s horniness because it was well contained inside of the home. No one knew that behind his little furry face that housed the sweetest, loving eyes and mischievous grin, he actually was Ron Jeremy to the stuffed animals in the house. I swear I fond a few of them hiding, fearing the way he casually tossed the others to the side after he had had their way with them.

A few weeks ago something happened – something BIG – and I realized that something had to change. I had a big decision to make. Only I could make it for him. I was the adult, the Mommy – and I had to really take my role in Jackson’s life seriously or he would harm himself.

Jackson’s penis got stuck.

All I remember is that he was having his special time with Ms. Zebra and um … he stopped – sated – and went about his business. I don’t look down there all that often because it’s his privates you know? And he gets shy sometimes. But I did happen to notice that there was something there that was kinda stuck. It usually goes back after a few licks or whatever (sorry – it’s natural!) and so I didn’t really worry about it. *sigh* This is a NF friendly blog – so please read that last sentence as it was intended: JACKSON licks himself and it goes back. Thanks. As I was saying… I wasn’t worried. But the next day I saw that it was still kinda peeking out as if to say “Hi – where’s the Zebra bitch – I’m ready for round 2 DAWG!!!” I quelled my fears and went about my business. I took Jackson for a walk where we ran across (of course) the adoring public who immediately wanted to pet my dog until he rolled onto his back displaying for the whole world to see his little Jackson. “Hi…” it said. “Where’s my Zebra bitch?” Embarrassed and shamed I quickly escorted Jackson back home and headed towards Google.

“My Dog’s Penis is stuck – what do I do?” Come on. What did you think I typed in there?

Minutes later I knew what I needed to do. I had to wade through ALOT of advise too. Butter, Neosporin, to massage or not massage?, until I finally stumbled upon the one thing I knew I could do. I had to ice my dog’s um “balls”. Carrying Jackson to the kitchen I opened up the freezer and grabbed a few ice cubes. Grabbing some paper towel I placed the ice cubes in it and turned Jackson onto his back, cradling him in my arms. His tongue escaped to give me a quick kiss.

“You’re not going to wanna kiss me after this…” I muttered and gently applied the ice.

Jackson’s expression shifted from curiosity to absolute disgust. “I don’t have any balls, stupid.” I heard him say. So I shifted the ice cubes up a bit to the base of his …”Oh – you’re the meanest mommy alive!” his eyes screamed at me and he started to squirm and close his legs at the same time.

“You need to stop humpin the dry ass animals!” I told Jackson.

“Um – I make do with what I have you cruel heartless woman!” He replied.

Looking past the Brawny that was now mush I saw that Jackson’s thingee was still out saying hello to the world. Considering butter for a brief moment (didn’t know where the damn Neosporin was!) I set Jackson down on the floor to consider my other options. I could call the Vet in the morning and HE could put that thing back in. I could try to push it back in…eeeew. No. I could … ‘Damn’ I interrupted my own thoughts, ‘I can’t believe I fuckin was icing my dog’s dick!’ Ok – so – the vet. I’ll bring Jack to the vet!

“Jackson!” I screamed suddenly. “Don’t lick it it will NEVER GO BACK IN!” I Rushed to Jackson to pick him up and interrupt his masturbatory experience – but as I got closer I noticed… The thingee was back in. My nightmare was over. My baby was going to live another day! And most importantly – I didn’t have to take him in to the vet to get his penis put back in.

The very next day I knew what I needed to do. I picked up all his “girlfriends” threw them into the washing machine on delicate and put a bit of wool light in there to make things all nice and soft. Once they were all washed I placed them all on the picnic table in the backyard to dry. I was planning on packing them up after they were nice and dry and giving them to Jackson on “special” occasions. I figured he could have a date night and he could go at it for a bit and I would then pick up the girls and put them away until next time. *sigh* Once the girls were on the picnic table though, Jackson wouldn’t leave me alone. He would go to the table – look up at the nice pieces of ass that were laid out there – and cry, whine, claw at the table legs and attempt to jump up to get them. After hours of this I finally relented and gave him his pieces of ass warning him to not get anything stuck – I still hadn’t found the Neosporin and I wasn’t in the mood to ice his nether regions again. He ignored me and went to work. Luckily nothing got stuck. I kept an eye on things.

So my big decision still is upon me. Do I take away Jackson’s … um … girlfriends again? Do I take away the only thing that brings him pleasure? Do I rob him of his sexuality just as I robbed him of his balls? Shouldn’t a little white Doggy have a little bit of boom boom if he wants it? Who is he hurting? The zebra really isn’t complaining. But if I let him continue to hump dry ass stuffed animals, his penis may very well get stuck again. He’s sort of asking for it by not using any lubrication, don’t you think?

I haven’t made up my mind…and I’m open to suggestions. I really am. A parent needs to do what is in the best interest of their child, you know. I’m suppose to protect him from the harsh realities of life – which I assume means stuck penis’.

My momma definitely didn’t tell me there would be days like this!

For those of you who are fortunate enough to never have picked up the rather nasty habit of smoking (which I am not ashamed to say still appeals to me in a sick, twisted, demented sort of way) – let me explain a few things. The patch takes care of the nicotine part of things. I get a constant rush of nicotine for at least 2 more months. The amount gets lower and lower as the weeks go by – but the nicotine is still in my system thanks to a rather fashion forward clear sticky patch on my left shoulder blade. However (BIG COMMA INSERTED HERE____), the habit of having something in my mouth – something in my fingers – inhaling – blowing out and the whole damn ritual … is quite another cross to bear. What the hell was going to go in my mouth now? What was I going to do with my fingers? How was I going to have those moments away from it all – where I could totally take in nature and fresh (*cough*) air? I know I know! I would go to the DOGGY PARK! So off Jackson and I went – with my mom in tow – to discover the world of doggy parks.

This particular doggy park has 2 areas. The small dog area (ankle biters) and the big dog area (where the MEN hang out and compare their dogs to the others in the area.) Jackson and I went through door #1. Jackson cowardly hid behind me for about the first 5 minutes – and then sniffed a few of the dogs butts (“Hey! I’m Jack … who are you and where do you live?”) and politely allowed others to do the same (“Nice to meet you, Misty – I’m Jack and my person and I live on the other side of town!”) and then he was off. My little man ran – and barked – and ran some more. I laughed as I saw his fur flying away from his face – his mouth open in some lop sided grin – while 2 smaller dogs nipped at his heels. For about an hour I played and ran after – and enjoyed him enjoy his freedom and never once did I think to myself “I wish I had a smoke” – or want to trade the time with him and my mother with time alone out back puffing away another 4 dollars and 75 cents. The Doggy Park will see me often. Jackson napped for about 3 hours afterwards – and I discovered something that we both could do together that didn’t endanger (well – so far) each other’s health and well being.

In the evening, when I normally log in to take some calls – I was invited to watch a scary movie with three 13 year olds. I could not pass them up – and so the 4 of us cuddled up on my aunt and uncle’s bed and watched Disturbia. We ate icecream, screamed at sounds coming from the attic (still have no idea what the hell is up there but I sure as hell am NOT going to investigate!), and held each other’s hands through the scary parts. Soon it was 11:00PM – and my first day of not smoking was nearly behind me. So I signed in about 2 hours ago. I apologize.

So for anyone who smokes and is looking to stop – you may join me and Tiffy in our support group. It’s not as much fun as the doggy park – but it will do your spirit and your body good, I believe. Thanks, Tiffy, by the way, for joining in the struggle with me. I don’t think I would be able to do this with out you. (hands Tiffy a red vine licorice stick) << They really do work. Honest.

I’m exhausted and Jackson is out like a light. I think I’ll join him. Not on the floor of course – but tucked inside of my bed. Warm – safe – with a nice clear sticky thing on my back – promising many more adventures, many more days – and many more challenges I’m sure to overcome.

For instance, the other night I had a dream that I found a little polar bear wandering around in the woods. (Hey – no comments about my lack of geography knowledge…my dreams don’t know any better!) He was so cute. All white – with a little button nose and big black eyes and white eyelashes. He snuggled right up to me and I carried him home. We were such a cute pair – my little polar bear and I (lol!) and everyone was amazed at how cute he was. He was really well behaved too, considering. He would sleep in bed with me and snuggle up all nice and close and keep me really warm and his breath smelled like fresh fruit. He was absolutely with out a doubt adorable! Friends would come to visit us and at first they were all really positive about our relationship (grin) but later they started to give me these little comments like, “You know – bears are cute when they are cubs – but when they grow up they will be bears – and he may eventually maul you.” I would shrug off their comments, thinking them jealous more than concerned and continue on with my plan. But the bear began to grow up very fast. Every day his paws would get bigger – and though he was still as gentle as a lamb, I couldn’t help but wonder if my friends were correct. Could this bear grow up to forget about our relationship and go back to his “bear” tendencies? Could my bear be a threat to my safety and eventually kill me with out even realizing what he was doing? I started to look at my bear a bit more cautiously. And I started, too, to think of ways that I could “ditch” him. I thought of maybe bringing him to the local zoo but was not sure he would fit in with the others and was very concerned about how well he would be treated there. I thought about releasing him back into the woods from whence he came, but I worried that some hunters would come along and kill him for his fur (??). And then I woke up. Took Jackson out for his morning pee – and thought about how cute he was with his soft white fur and his little button nose and his big black eyes with white eyelashes. And as soon as Jackson was done watering his favorite tree, I got on the phone and called around for some dog trainers.

It’s not that Jackson is bad and I’m afraid of him mauling anyone. But he hasn’t outgrown his biting yet. He doesn’t bite you out of dominance or whatever, he just hasn’t realized that there are humans and there are dogs – and dogs can not play with humans the way they do with other dogs. He will run around your feet – play hide and seek with you – jump out at you with a silly grin on his face, toss you his favorite toy and dare you not to play with him. If you refuse his advances, he will lick your hand – then nip you. Then lick you. Then nip. I’ve taken to saying NO or OUCH to him as loud as possible and tapping him on the nose and he “gets” it but will still lick nip lick nip you until he grows tired of the nose batting he gets from it. He pushes the limits. Constantly. And if he wasn’t so damned adorable I would be more irritated than I am. One thing is clear though, this little nipping he does needs to be taken care of immediately. It is not attractive. He’s been doing it since he was way little and I’ve tried time outs, loud noises, squirting him in the face, etc. Nothing seems to break his spirit like the ass whooping I want to give him. I took a little test on line and realized that Jackson is a F student in obedience. Quite alarming after the 100 something bucks I paid for him to be socialized and learn basic manners when he was a puppy. He is willful, stubborn, and clearly all alpha omega, that dog. And something needs to be done, immediately. My dreams are telling me so.

The other part of my dream that I found very insightful was the whole polar thing. I’ve been learning about Phospholipids in biology lately. Yeah. Pretty dang interesting, right? It seems that in that class I’m always about 2 days behind in the learning curve. My professor will talk about phospholipids on Monday and by Friday I’m waking myself up after a dream about polar bears as pets thinking – Ooooooh! The LAYER is made up of the fatty part of the phospholipids and thus forming a BARRIER that water can not penetrate! Ooooooh. I get it. So yeah – interesting things, right? One part of that little thingee is polar and the other nonpolar. I think that’s a good balance, right? I think it’s also a really great insult to give to people who are unstable… “You’re like a phospholipid with no tail.” Clever right? Especially when the person has no idea what the hell one of those little phospholipids are! Anyway – all that to say I think that is the other reason why I was dreaming about polar bears. Some part of my life is extremely …out of balance, let’s say.

That’s all I have for you. No – really. That’s all I have. There is nothing left up there. *taps head so you can hear the empty hollow ring* I have TONS of homework this weekend. A lab test in Biology – along with about 5 chapters or so to read because I have a big test next week on all 8 chapters of Biology and I still have to work, sleep, play, and pee. I also have a government class that I should attend tomorrow morning bright and early. And I still am half way entertaining my relatives from out of town. Let’s not forget finding a trainer for my polar bear, finding some balance between life, work, school and stuff, and thinking of a topic for Monday’s topic. I will write more this weekend – but just wanted to check in really quick. I will be logged in for a few more minutes here – and then I’m going to take the rest of the afternoon off. If you want to speak to me please feel free to make an appointment with me. I will try logging on this evening for a few hours before bedtime. I just feel like having a little time to myself right now to enjoy the weather, catch up on some reading for school, and maybe even listen to some music.

Talk to you all very soon.

I’m not sure if it was Jackson’s surgery and the stress associated with it that did it – or if it was just a little virus running around Southern California – but I got a tiny bit of laryngitis. As you recall I had a little gift that I was planning on giving – but I couldn’t quite get it out. While most of the people I spoke to in the last few days have complimented me on my husky smoker voice – it’s frustrating when trying to speak on calls – and I certainly didn’t want to record anything – not saying that was part of the surprise or anything – but … you know, if I had wanted to actually record anything I wouldn’t be able to because my voice was just not there. It comes and goes and it really doesn’t hurt even though it must sound like it does. Instead of fighting it – I just decided to chill out and spend a little extra time with Jack – and a little extra time sleeping and healing myself, hoping that Jackson would do the same and his little body would return back to normal as quickly and painlessly as possible.

I had no idea that owning a dog would be this emotional, rewarding, frightening, expensive … basically had no idea that it would be life changing. I suddenly feel like taking my parents out to breakfast in the morning and paying for it, even. I should write my mother a lovely letter – that she can frame – and apologize for all the times I gave her heart attacks and didn’t appreciate the sacrifices she made so that I could have a good life, ya know? I don’t know how people do it. I don’t know how older mature people do it – or even the few people I know that had kids when they were younger than I am. I have much respect for them – regardless of whether or not they have all the money in the world – or need help from family, friends, or the government – parenthood is no joke.

So Jackson sleeps… and what am I going to do with my time here? Seems that most of the world is asleep right now but I’ll stay logged on for a bit in case anyone wants to play with a husky voiced braced teenager. I’m feeling pretty agreeable so you could easily take advantage of me. I’m not feeling very dominant, however – so if you’re looking for CBT I may not be the one to deliver it. (lol) – anything else though I’m game for.

Thanks to everyone who sent notes, messaged me, offered up little pieces of advice (the bitter apple worked PERFECTLY, SBJ!), kept me company and told me I wasn’t a bad parent while Jackson was under the knife (Tiffy) and took my mind and heart off of my troubles, cramps, and voice in other ways (Chris, Mike, Doc, Johnny, John, and my little addict – you know who you are! *grin*.) I really appreciate it and I owe you.

Have a great rest of the weekend, everyone. I’ll be on for a bit tonight – will be on for a little bit tomorrow morning/mid afternoon – and then for my normal shift of about 8-12 Sunday Evening. Look for me then!

He hasn’t been “marking” inside as of yet – but he does spend about 30 minutes of his day of biting ankles, chasing his toys around the back yard, barking at the neighbors, eating pig ears and kibble and treats, and looking adorable – spraying every tree, shrub, bush and post in our yard. The vet told me 4-6 months, and after he graduated from Puppy School last Friday with honors (YAY JACKSON!!!!) I made the decision to go on and get it done. Friday morning I will take my almost 6 lb ball of white fluff to the vet where he will undergo surgery to remove 2 little balls. I am not sure I will be able to handle it. Jackson seems a bit oblivious to it all and hopefully he’ll stay that way and then quickly forget everything they do to him on Friday. *sigh* I’m a mess.

So anyways – I’m doing pretty good on my resolutions from yesterday. Still working on my “gift” but that should definitely be up and ready to go by the end of the evening. I logged in earlier this afternoon and was pleasantly surprised by my a lovely tongue bath, a naughty blackmail by my next door neighbor, a particularily kinky encounter with the Pastor in his office (tsk tsk!) and a few other naughty fantasies – too naughty to mention *wink*. I’m pretty free this January – classes aren’t going to be resuming until February for me – so I’ll try to set aside a few late morning/afternoons for you early risers. (!!) As a result of my taking calls this afternoon, though, I didn’t get to the gym until late – and didn’t run my errands until after that. I was 15 minutes late signing in this evening and so I kinda failed. Not totally failed – but sort of kinda failed on one of my “resolutions” I set yesterday. Hopefully though you all will forgive me and we can just count today as a successful CeCe followed through and actually did what she said she was going to do today day. How about it? Can I make a deal?

Talk with you later – still have work to do!!

Jackson also had many presents to wrap for his classmates. He figured he’d give them all a little Christmas present. And then Jackson while tugging on a pair of my socks started this sort of gagging and pawing at his face. I thought he was chocking and called my Dad over to help me pry open Jackson’s mouth. He was bleeding from the side of his mouth and making these noises that really freaked me out. A few minutes later one of Jackson’s teeth was in my hand. My baby’s first tooth. (aaaaaaah)

To say that my day has been extremely eventful would be an understatement.

I really need to run to classes now. I want to take Jack on a bit of a walk so that he’s a little more calm for Puppy School. I don’t know if it will work or not but in theory it seems to make sense.

I will try to write more this evening… and I will also be logging in later tonight – probably around 10PM or so PST. Hopefully we’ll get the chance to speak then!

But today I came really close to topping his best day. With Jackson tucked under my arm I answered the door. Mr. UPS man was holding a nice plump and juicy box for me from LUSH cosmetics. I really favored PHILOSOPHY products for awhile – and before that Melis products (but they have discontinued alot of their scents – including Orange Cream Cake – YUMMMY!) so I was a bit hesitant to try out the Lush Products. But man am I glad I did! Their creams are to die for – so thick and yummy. I also got a lip balm from them that smells good enough to eat. (I did taste it and it has no taste – darn.) The best part of the package though had to be this stuff called Candy Fluff. Oh My Goodness! It’s dusting powder (talc powder) that comes in this little pink canister thingee – that smells like … candy. It smells absolutely sweet enough to drink/eat. I’m planning on washing my sheets in a minute – drying them – and then dusting them with a layer of this stuff tonight before I go to bed. It is that delicious. It momentarily jostled me out of my Gilmore Girls Heaven – and that’s saying a lot because I basically sleep with that series on now. I should have really waited until after my math final. *sigh*

So thanks again Scott for the Gilmore girls – and my Mister Pimp Lush Man who will be happy to know I added a few more things from LUSH onto my girlie wish list.

I better go for now. The TV is off – my bed is stripped and the laundry room awaits me. Jackson probably needs a treat, too, come to think of it. It’s been about 2 hours since he last had one and he tends to get a bit violent when I wait too long.

My cold is a bit better (thank you GOD for sudafed and vitamin C) and my teeth – well – I think they are straighter today – LOL. I probably should put my rubber bands back on though for the full pain dosage my Doc requires.

I’ll be logging on this evening around 9:00PM and will stay logged on till about 12:00 Midnight – maybe 1:00AM if my nasal passages are clear and open. LOL! Sorry – but breathing thru my nose is important during certain calls. I know you understand – or you’re having a fun time trying to figure it all out… *wink*

Talk soon…

So why the title? Well – a funny thing happens in Southern California after a fire. Animals start appearing that use to stay far away in hills and on mountain sides. Animals like – cougars. yeah. I’m not lying.

About a week ago a cougar hopped over a 6 foot fence in an adjoining neighborhood – mauled a little puppy – and ran off with a 50 lb (or was it 60?) dog in it’s mouth. The owners were eating breakfast and didn’t hear the doggies in the yard and went to investigate and found one puppy badly injured, and the other doggy was missing. They ran up the hill behind their house I guess and found a little bit of fur lying in a pool of blood. After the Vet had examined the other puppy that had managed to escape the cougar – they realized that the injuries were cougar related. There is a law in California that you can not hunt cougars (looks out the window nervously.) So anyways – Jackson is not allowed out in the yard with out supervision. Supposedly cougars are okay until they are surprised (or hungry) but um – yeah. Jackson would be like some finger food before the bigger meal (me?) so I’m a bit nervous at the present moment. Gotta love LA. Writers strike, Santa Ana winds, Fires, Arnold S. for governor, and now Lions running amuck.

Tonight we fall back – so I’m going to be on for a bit tonight. I’ll at least be on alerts for awhile – because, well, I can be. And I wasn’t on very long yesterday (just long enough to speak to my sweetie “chair” – HI Sweetie !! – Thanks for the call) due to Puppy School Fridays.

And since you asked – Puppy school is going alright. I do wish, however, that children were not allowed unless they could behave. There were five more children there this past Friday. They seem to be multiplying. Also – Jack was one of 2 of his breeds last week. This week – there were 2 other doggies – and the rest were all Maltese. I don’t know how that happened, either. Jackson was tortured by 3 boys. The two girls were on the other side of the training area. Jack would have been better off next to the girls. The little boy (the California Strangler) was better behaved, too. But the 3 boys, Satan, Damien, and Lucifer, were horrible: dropping treats everywhere, bouncing balls in front of Jack, and grabbing his tail attempting to distract him from his lesson.

We learned how to walk on the leash, how to sit (Jack learned that weeks ago), and received tips on how to stop biting. I walked by the snack aisles, walked past the really cute t-shirts (Nearly Famous – how cute is that!?!), and even managed to walk by the really cute blankets and cute beds. TAH DAH.

I better go … I’ll talk with you later on this evening. Tomorrow I will be on in the evening, too – but have a date with the Tiffers. What time was that date again, Tiffy? midnight? Last call of the evening? Make an appointment before then because after Tiffy I’ll be hitting the hay. School on Monday, remember.

Talk soon…

We left for school and immediately my worst fears were confirmed: Jackson was not the cutest dog in the pack. We sat right next to what had to be the cutest little thing imagineable. Mimi – a 2 lb 4 month old french poodle. She was this light champagne color and she sat on her owner’s lap like she KNEW she was the cutest little thing. Her owner also had along her two children. The youngest, a little boy, hugged Mimi around the neck so hard that I was scared little Mimi’s eyes would pop out of her tiny head. He was adorable – but I made a mental note to watch him closely. Black Jack, a 70 lb puppy arrived next. His owner looked to be all about business and Black Jack sat next to her obediently. I eyed him suspiciously; He seemed to know plenty of commands and I thought he was probably in the wrong class. This was a beginning class – this pup seemed to be well into advanced training.
And then another maltese arrived. I never did get her name but man was she adorable. She was about the size of Mimi and didn’t even seem to know how to bark, whine or disobey. She, too, sat on her Mommy’s lap and peered anxiously at her competition. And then Trooper arrived. Trooper, a 30 lb golden lab mix had groupies. His entire family came along with him – His owners (Mom and Dad) and their 3 children ages 11, 6, and 4. The two youngest girls were adorable – and would soon become Jackson’s biggest fans.

The trainer seemed to be an admirer of Cesar Milan – and talked to the owners about being a pack leader. Jack watched her, and by the expression on his face I could tell that he was not buying a single word she was saying. When the trainer insisted on having us put our dogs down on the floor so they could be “dogs” and face the world head on – Jack breathed a sigh of relief. Then the lessons began. Seems that we’ll be teaching them by using this clicker thing. Jack didn’t really seem to respond. He seemed to really enjoy Trooper – licking him on the nose and backing away shyly when Trooper would lick him back. Mimi also seemed to hold his attention, though she lived up to her “breed” by talking constantly until she was picked up. Jack was not impressed with her attention seeking devices.

The little boy was the first to discover Jackson. He sat right on the floor and during the exercises insisted on placing Jack in his lap and petting/strangling him. I tried to be nice about it – but it seemed that the little boy needed a bit of obedience training of his own. Then the little girls found Jack – and Jack, being a boy and a charmer, lapped up all the attention. Trooper didn’t seem to mind one bit – and neither did his Parents/owners. They seemed relieved to have their children entertained by Jackson – but as the lessons grew on and 3 children were wildly calling “Jackson!!” I grew just a tiny bit impatient. Jackson was suppose to be learning how to “watch” me – and would hear his name from every side of him imagineable and just tune out. The treat lures were not half as enticing as running back and forth between children and sitting on their laps and being pet by them and nibbling at their dirty little fingers. The trainer wasn’t very helpful either. I looked around at all the other puppies and in my imagination they all seemed to be doing miraculous tricks. I was certain that Jack, who had already learned at home to sit on command, fetch, and ALMOST lay down on command – would be the star pupil and he was turning out to be the “worst” of all the puppies. He was popular, though. Everyone LOVED Jackson.

After class I approached the teacher. I told her that I would need assistance with the children in class. Although Jack loved the attention from the little ones, I told her we needed some time to learn as much as the other doggies. She didn’t seem worried – but I was ready to go to the dean. She told me to practice the exercises at home and that next week the excitement would have died down and Jackson would be just another puppy to the young’uns. Yeah. Okay. Riiiight.

There was only one thing to do. Jackson and I went shopping. He needed some soft treats for training. The trainer said so. He also needed a little chew toy. And I needed some shopping therapy. The kids also went shopping with trooper. They practically fell down on the floor and pulled Jackson to them at every turn. Trooper’s owners apologized and told me that their little girls had fallen in love with Jackson. I told their parents that I should be a guy – because Jackson was a chick magnet if ever I saw one. The owner of the little girl Maltese also approached me and Jackson. Her baby with the little rhinestone pink colar and leash made me want a little girl – I swear. We talked a little Maltese before she and her well behaved and quiet little girl left the store.

Puppy school will indeed be a challenge. Jackson seems happy enough to be there – and he slept like a rock when we got home. We practiced a little bit today – and he doesn’t seem to get the whole “clicker” thing. He’s definitely his own little man – he believes he’s the alpha – and he’s determined to do what he wants to do when he wants to do it. What is sad is that I’m somewhat okay with letting him do what he wants to do too. I keep thinking that he’s just a puppy and there are so many things for him to discover.

Along with Puppy school Jackson has also finished his shots! On Tuesday we will begin walking every morning and evening. This should wear off some of his energy as well, hopefully, and maybe then he’ll able to concentrate on his training exercises. We will see.

*glances at the length of this post* I’m done with Jackson now.

I have been working really hard on a few projects – I’m not ready to disclose them yet – because you know how I am with following through with stuff.

I have finals this week, too – and Halloween is just around the corner. I do want to mention that I will be working on Halloween … probably late. I probably will be on tomorrow, too – although I have some homework to attend to.

Oh – and thanks for the calls this weekend, boys! I had a great time. I had a great bday date with the one and only Tiffy, and also had a great time with Chris, and Mark, and Matt, and Brian, U.R. and quite a few others. I know you all are looking foward to the costumes this year. *wink* Don’t eat too many treats – and make sure you call if you need some relief. I got a few tricks up my sleeves – and I don’t even need training to perform them. Well – not much training, anyways.