Hello everyone. I’m sorry I’ve been catch and miss for the past month. Literally. It’s been crazy around here lately. But I think things will start getting better from here on out. At least for most of my callers now they can reach me and add funds and most of the time hear me, right?

I have to switch out my call buttons because I realized the other day that (duh) they don’t show my real status. So for many of you, you’ve come here to see if I’m on, looked at the little button to the right and saw that I wasn’t, and gone about your business - when all along I’ve been available and waiting to hear from you. I really am hell bent on staying positive, so let’s just say one collective “oops” and keep it going (glares at niteflirt beta).

So really quickly - cuz I have tons of homework to do before i can log back in this evening - this is my plan of action. I have been logged in all afternoon and kept pretty busy - so busy in fact that I now have to log off so I can get some homework done! I slept most of the night AND into the morning (didn’t go to church..) and will more than likely be sleeping tomorrow am as well. Got a little touch of the flu a few days ago and am still recovering. Yeah - I call niteflirt calls recovering! So … it’s almost 6:30PM PST - I will be logging back in around 9:30PM. I won’t be checking emails until then because I am easily distracted and will probably never start my homework because I’ll be reading emails, then shopping on ebay, then fixing my wish lists, and then writing some stories… lol. 9:30PM - Promise. Pinky swear. If I’m not here/available - send me a note on niteflirt. If I see you were actually looking for me and I wasn’t around for your call - you’ll get something special from me. How’s THAT for a bit of incentive for the both of us?

Talk soon!

As much as I try to make this blog not about teenage angst (specially since I’m not one anymore!), angst always finds its way onto my page. Can i just say that I am working on a lot of things — niteflirt and my schedule have definitely taken a back seat for a moment. But tonight I will be attempting a work schedule. I may write about my growth spurt in a private entry somewhere. I’m not sure. I may just write it in my diary (personal) in the old fashioned way, and leave this blog for more important, less chaotic, more mature posts. For a change.

I just wanted to let the ones who read my ramblings know that I am still here. A little bruised on the inside, a bit reflective, a bit perplexed by love — but still here. Still CeCe. Still me. I will write more soon.

That would be my schedule. Logging in to Niteflirt in an hour.
Talk to you then (hopefully).

****UPDATE****
Thank God I said AFTER 11:30PM (but more than likely before). I didn’t completely lie. So this has been a real eye opener. I have realized that I totally HATE hate hate to the upteenth degree, saying that I will be on at a particular time, and then not being able to make it. Sure, things come up, but every day almost? That’s just a sign of bad planning in my opinion. I have also realized that sometimes I just can’t do it all. I spent 3 delicious hours writing today, actually shared a short story in my writing group, and felt REALLY good about it. I really have to continue making Thursday groups. So more than likely I’ll take Thursdays off, logging in for special appointments when possible before 6:30PM. Because it is summer my schedule with my trainer is up in the air a lot, too. So I can’t really count on my hours from week to week for morning hours — especially if, like this upcoming week, training is scheduled for the mornings, because everyone LOVES my trainer and wants to be worked out by her. I hate to even think it, but it looks like every weekend, I may have to post a schedule for that upcoming week. I can’t plan ahead of time right now, due to too many uncertainties.

Do not worry. We will get it all worked out. I promise.

*****END UPDATE*******

I have so many things to write about, but this takes precedence. As you can see, I am not signed into niteflirt. Nor will I until later on this evening. It may not be as late as 11:00PM, but it could be. I had to take Jackson to the Vet today as he had a tummy ache and hasn’t been his normal obnoxious self. An obscene amount of money later, I am home, but now having to scurry about to get some other things accomplished before writing group which starts a bit early tonight. Oh, and I was supposed to write something to share tonight, too. Which means…yeah….I should stop writing in here and get to it.

For anyone who was looking for me during my scheduled time, let me know. I have a surprise for you. If you don’t let me know, then I will assume you were not looking for me (as if!) and that will be that!

Look for me FOR SURE after 11:30PM — but more than likely BEFORE. Crossing my fingers.

CeCe

So before I get to my big realization — just a quick update to my schedule since I just realized I have a graduation to attend tomorrow afternoon. Sooo - I will not be available during the late morning this Thursday. I WILL be available at or around 3:00PM, but I will keep you posted. Keep in mind that this change to my schedule is just for tomorrow and will not be the norm.

My plan with this schedule is to work it religiously (and I’ve been really good so far, haven’t I? Even logging in a bit earlier than planned this evening, and staying a bit later both this afternoon and last night, too!) and then after a few weeks rethink things and maybe tweak hours as needed in order to ensure I’m working the best times for my customers. Thank you to those of you who put in your bids for times you’d like to see me on. I really do take that into account. There may be times that I don’t have the option of signing on for a full 2-3 hours, but may be able to log in for 30 minutes just for you, so your requests are not in vain. Let’s give this a whirl and see where we land, k?

So here is my realization. I realized a couple of things. One is with this new schedule and way of conducting my business. When I set aside time just to do business related things, then all of a sudden I’m ready to buckle in and have fun. My “work” doesn’t follow me into dinner time and school studying time and leisure time, etc. I feel fresh and renewed because I’m present and “with it”. It’s a really good thing. And what doesn’t get done during those hours, doesn’t get done during those hours. Maybe the following day I’ll adjust my schedule an hour to allow time to get caught up. But the secret I found is really setting aside the time and being kind to myself and as a result, I get to be good to you because I’m not frazzled and doing trillions of things at once. Just nod like you understand what I’m saying. lol!

Ok - the other realization has nothing to do with niteflirt. It happened a few nights ago. I was doing some research on this project I’m thinking about doing because I saw a need and I think that I need to fill that need. So I was checking on line to see what was available already and found myself looking through bumper stickers. Of course I ran to the Obama section where I found Pro Obama stickers and Anti Obama stickers. This was not the big surprise. The big surprise was, as I was reading through these bumper stickers, I couldn’t believe that there were people who felt so negative about something I felt so positive about. Ok - in telling this I’m aware that I’m sounding like a moron, but it’s deeper than just realizing that someone has a different opinion than you. It was like something clicked HARD for me. All of a sudden I got what people must be thinking of me when I’m so strongly FOR something that they are so AGAINST. “Is she out of her f’n mind?” “Is she an idiot? How the hell can’t she see what is happening?” “She always seemed like such a smart girl to me.” Etc. That’s what people who don’t think like me must be thinking of me. So it dawns on me the other day that wow. People might have just as much a right to their opinion (and I’m saying this with out paying them lip service, but actually meaning it…) as I do of mine. And maybe if I stop the criticism and judgment of people who think differently, I might be in a position of hearing what they are saying. And if I hear what they are saying (if they can say it in a way that would reflect their seeing my position as valid in the same way I would…) then maybe the attitudes and the ego and the whatever else would float away an there would be some, or we could maybe try to reach some, common ground.

Is it possible? Did I finally “get” something some of you have been alluding (I used it in the right place this time!!) to?

Anyway. Just some random things that go through CeCe’s mind in the middle of the night.

See you tomorrow. Remember– 3:00ish - till my evening appt shows up. Probably will be some time around 6:30/7:00 PM. I will try to log in after 11:00PM tomorrow, but I may be too exhausted to. I have writing group and sometimes I’m ready to just go to bed after and dream of phrases and clauses.