I don’t blame you if you don’t. Yes, it’s me, CeCe, signing in after MANY months. And though I know it would entertain you to hear all the excuses I could muster up, I’m just gonna stick with the boring details: I was knee deep in Algebra. yup. I was in math hell for many months and just as soon as I could get my head above water, that’s when the bridge would break and I’d be over my head in mathematical problems all over again. I was barely logged in, and when I was I was often times distracted or called away from business to tackle yet another ruthless word problem. This is the time that you should all start playing violins for me. Thank you.

So now I have a month off from school and I have ever intention of catching up on some things around here. Things are starting (finally) to look up around here, and I am proud to have not given in to the panic that surrounded me. I guess the paid mails are even working fine as of late. See? Patience IS a virtue!

Some of you remembered my birthday and thank you, but I’ve stopped celebrating them. If you call me, you’ll notice that I’m 19 again. I figure it’s a good year, and that way no one has to wonder why a 20 somethin’ year old is still going under “teenwetdream”. It will be our little secret. I still have my braces on, so as far as I’m concerned, I still look like a teen, and well, I’m still fighting to keep myself well with in your dreams. Yeah, I’m still corny.

So this is really just a quick update. If I make it too long it will be another 2 months before I post it. It is Monday, the 28th of December, and I will be logging in around 8:00PM this evening (that’s California Pacific time) and staying logged in until I can’t keep my eyes open. You should call me and say hi, if you haven’t had the chance. I definitely look forward to reconnecting with some of you AND meeting new and kinky/interesting men, too! Thank you for your patience these past few months, not only with niteflirt’s issues, but with my school schedule and stuff. I’m back. I promise.

Even though I knew that I was going on vacation, I still did not have the time to adequately prepare myself to leave! I had a list of all kinds of things I would do: blog, write emails to some of my clients letting them know when I would return, putting up a few recorded stories I had done to keep you all occupied while I was away, etc. etc. But as the day approached, I found more and more things to do that had to do with being gone for 8 days. Things like - finding a pet sitter for Jack, and packing enough clothes for unpredictable MN weather, and trying to finish my English class assignments. Things were piling up on me and I ran out of time to do the few things I thought of doing here on this blog. So please forgive me. Life just got a bit too full for me.

But I’m back now. Well rested - and starting a new fall semester of college! I am so excited! I have a Journalism class I’ll be taking, and I’m taking a foreign language because some of the colleges I want to transfer to require it, and then I’m taking Algebra. I will definitely be taking a math class every semester for the next year and then hopefully I will have enough math to fill my requirement. I’m hoping. So now that my fall semester is figured out, I have the following weeks to spend with you, doing all those things I promised I’d do, but ran out of time. I won’t list them all here as I don’t currently trust myself to complete them yet. I use to really love writing lists - long lists - of about 100 things I wanted to do and then post them here for the world to see. But failing at completing the list became a bit much. It’s kinda like setting yourself up to fail a little bit. I have a tentative list right here beside me of the things I’d like to do today. I’ll let you know how I do at the end of the day, how about that.

FOr now - one of the things I’m completing is - writing in this blog. I’ve neglected it for a bit, and I also lost a little direction in regards to what I wanted to write about. I’m forever doubting what I’m doing here on this blog — I need to just quit it already and resign myself to the fact that I am a writer - and my blogs are going to be a bit different than the blogs that other girls do. I’m introspective and touchy feel-y and I rarely talk about things that include the words pussy, cock, and cum. I figure *for me* that it’s just a cheap way to go. I’d rather work a bit more at my entries - and leave the easier playful things for our calls - if that’s what you want. Or a recording. Or a story. This blog is my little “get to know me more intimately” measure. I dunno. It’s not as confusing as it needs to be though - so I’m going to stop making an issue of it. We all know how I write by now … so … um … get over it and move on. So yeah - I was saying - I’m writing in my blog! (checks it off her list) Yay, CeCe! I know. You’re waiting for it, aren’t you? the promises to write more. The something that I put in writing that you can remind me of when I fail to do once again (haha). It’s not going to happen. This is the new CeCe. I have a goal in mind - I’ll let you know when I’ve reached it.

So I was on vacation. I was on vacation that I hadn’t even really planned on. I knew I was going, but I hadn’t made “a plan” - I just knew it had to happen so I packed and I went for it. And you know, I’m glad I didn’t plan for it. Of course, it would have been better if I would have had a bit more money saved up for the thing, and it would have been MUCH better had I made arrangements to let everyone here know I was going, etc. etc. but one thing I’ve noticed about myself is that the more I think about doing something, the less I do it. I just have to DO it and stop making plans to do it or writing lists to do it and blah blah blah. Sometimes my fixating on certain aspects makes me less active in actually doing the thing. Like Nike, right? So I just did vacation. I went to MN to visit my family I haven’t seen in a long time, and I basked in the sunshine and absorbed the green that only MN can give you. I know there are “green” places all over - but MN has a kind of lush green that no other place has. When you’re in Minnesota, you can practically hear the color green. You can taste the color green. Green sinks into your soul and makes everything mellow and safe and almost dream like. Had it not been for my assignments I still needed to get in, I would have risked being eaten alive by mosquitos and just rowed out into the middle of the lake with a great book and napped and read, dreaming of a few of you taking shifts to sit next to me for a bit and feed me grapes and cheddar cheese or something. !

When I lived in Minnesota, I thought that California was the greener side of the fence. When I moved to California, I did not notice, at first, the sprinklers working over time because rain doesn’t love California the way it loves Minnesota. I trained my tongue to flirt over my o’s and adopted a sort of “tv valley girl” speech - something more sophisticated than the mid west lilt I grew up with. I forced myself to think of myself as a city girl, pretended that skim milk was better than whole and that spending 100 bucks on a dress was sensible, even when a pretty one from old navy would do just fine. I taught myself to look at the yellow brown green and identify it with summer, trained my nose to take in the ocean as a suitable substitute for ten thousand lakes, said soda instead of pop. But ya know what? Flying into MN at 6:00 in the morning with barely enough sunlight to make out the squares of farms and the ink blots of lake after lake after lake can’t hide the green from your eyes. The green rises up to meet you. Beckons you to come in for a landing. Paves the way to pastures overflowing with life that will melt on your tongue. Minnesota is that greener side of the fence. I’m sure of it.

So I’m thinking…I’d like to be that “greener side of the fence” for you. I’d like to be that one thing that fills up your senses, makes you know you’re undoubtedly talking to CeCe. I’d like to be the one who rains down on you just a little bit more frequently and is just a bit more taste-y, a bit more wholesome, a bit more fresh than anything else you’ve experienced. If I can do that during a call or two, I will be happy. You can have that one impromptu vacation day contained in how ever many minutes you have. Escape. Play. Dream with me. You’ll be glad you did!

So before I get to my big realization — just a quick update to my schedule since I just realized I have a graduation to attend tomorrow afternoon. Sooo - I will not be available during the late morning this Thursday. I WILL be available at or around 3:00PM, but I will keep you posted. Keep in mind that this change to my schedule is just for tomorrow and will not be the norm.

My plan with this schedule is to work it religiously (and I’ve been really good so far, haven’t I? Even logging in a bit earlier than planned this evening, and staying a bit later both this afternoon and last night, too!) and then after a few weeks rethink things and maybe tweak hours as needed in order to ensure I’m working the best times for my customers. Thank you to those of you who put in your bids for times you’d like to see me on. I really do take that into account. There may be times that I don’t have the option of signing on for a full 2-3 hours, but may be able to log in for 30 minutes just for you, so your requests are not in vain. Let’s give this a whirl and see where we land, k?

So here is my realization. I realized a couple of things. One is with this new schedule and way of conducting my business. When I set aside time just to do business related things, then all of a sudden I’m ready to buckle in and have fun. My “work” doesn’t follow me into dinner time and school studying time and leisure time, etc. I feel fresh and renewed because I’m present and “with it”. It’s a really good thing. And what doesn’t get done during those hours, doesn’t get done during those hours. Maybe the following day I’ll adjust my schedule an hour to allow time to get caught up. But the secret I found is really setting aside the time and being kind to myself and as a result, I get to be good to you because I’m not frazzled and doing trillions of things at once. Just nod like you understand what I’m saying. lol!

Ok - the other realization has nothing to do with niteflirt. It happened a few nights ago. I was doing some research on this project I’m thinking about doing because I saw a need and I think that I need to fill that need. So I was checking on line to see what was available already and found myself looking through bumper stickers. Of course I ran to the Obama section where I found Pro Obama stickers and Anti Obama stickers. This was not the big surprise. The big surprise was, as I was reading through these bumper stickers, I couldn’t believe that there were people who felt so negative about something I felt so positive about. Ok - in telling this I’m aware that I’m sounding like a moron, but it’s deeper than just realizing that someone has a different opinion than you. It was like something clicked HARD for me. All of a sudden I got what people must be thinking of me when I’m so strongly FOR something that they are so AGAINST. “Is she out of her f’n mind?” “Is she an idiot? How the hell can’t she see what is happening?” “She always seemed like such a smart girl to me.” Etc. That’s what people who don’t think like me must be thinking of me. So it dawns on me the other day that wow. People might have just as much a right to their opinion (and I’m saying this with out paying them lip service, but actually meaning it…) as I do of mine. And maybe if I stop the criticism and judgment of people who think differently, I might be in a position of hearing what they are saying. And if I hear what they are saying (if they can say it in a way that would reflect their seeing my position as valid in the same way I would…) then maybe the attitudes and the ego and the whatever else would float away an there would be some, or we could maybe try to reach some, common ground.

Is it possible? Did I finally “get” something some of you have been alluding (I used it in the right place this time!!) to?

Anyway. Just some random things that go through CeCe’s mind in the middle of the night.

See you tomorrow. Remember– 3:00ish - till my evening appt shows up. Probably will be some time around 6:30/7:00 PM. I will try to log in after 11:00PM tomorrow, but I may be too exhausted to. I have writing group and sometimes I’m ready to just go to bed after and dream of phrases and clauses.

Just seeing how this works. I know you don’t know what “this” is, but trust me … it’s legen (wait for it…)dary!

My 4 legged Maltese Son Jack has been acting up the past few days.  At first it was just little things, the occasional nip at the ankle - living up to little dog nick names (ankle biters).  Then it proceeded to taking shoes of the family out the doggy door.  And when all of these things resulted in further ignoring and punishing withdrawing of love and attention, Jackson started barking at trees for minutes, refusing to "come" when called, and basically being a spoiled dog. I decided that I had to put my foot down once and for all (away from his teeth) and nip his behavior issues in the bud.

After my spin class I stopped by the bike store and picked up my first pair of bike shoes (I tried them out for the first time on Wednesday.  What a difference they make.  Of course I was immediately stuck on the pedals and couldn’t get unstuck for a minute which was embarrassing…).  As I was going home, I passed a dog care center and stopped in for a look.

Jackson will need to fill out an application (I mean I will have to fill out an application) and then go through a screen process (Jackson will - I am pretty sure I would be able to play nicely with others, even if they are dogs) and if accepted he will be allowed to play in the play group.  I’m thinking one day a week will be a good thing for him.  It’s about all I can afford at this point, and I just want him to get out some of his aggressions.  Oh … let me stop lying.  I seriously want Jackson to get his furry ass beat.  I think if Jackson gets beat a little bit he’ll understand he doesn’t rule the world as I have told him from day one.  *shrugs*  A nice ass beating is all anyone really needs when they get full of themselves is my theory.  Someone has to put his furry little ass in his place — towards the back of the line.  I’m by no means dominant, but even I have had better luck with turning men into submissive subjects than I have had with Jackson.  He’s determined to be the boss no matter what I say.  See if the great dane can teach Jackson a thing or two about being alpha dog.  Grabbing the application and a few brochures, I was pretty sure this was the place for Jackson and I.  Wait a second…

"Do you by any chance have training here?"  I asked the kind lady.

"Yes we do.  The owner is an excellent trainer.  She works with the clicker and uses praise and never raises a hand to the dogs."

Well… that will all change once they meet Jackson, I thought to myself.

"We also have dance class."

"Oh?"

"Yes.  Dance class with the dogs.  They have a great time and it’s really great exercise for dogs and their humans." 

Dear God. "Wow… that sounds…." 

"I know.. it seems silly." Silly was not the word I was thinking, but okay. Silly.  "But the dogs really like it.  The owner has won contests with her dog.  They are really quite good."

Heading out of the door with promises that I would be back with the application & bribe money attached to it, I caught a few of the pictures on the wall.  I didn’t see any dancing dogs, but I did see quite a few happy people with their dogs.  It seemed clean and Mr. Great Dane seemed to be telling me that he’d take REAL good care of Jackson.  In a non romantic sexual way.  Not that there would be anything wrong with that. 

With animals on the brain, I spoke to Mr. Location confused Karl.  Somehow the topic came to talking with the animals, as in ‘What, Lassie? Timmy’s stuck in the well?’ talk to the animals.  We started to name the animals that spoke to humans.  Flipper, Lassie, Gentle Ben, Skippy.  Skippy?  I asked, laughing.  Skippy, Karl insisted.  And together we looked up this Skippy and found him playing the drums, playing the piano, gnawing through rope and cracking the codes on safes.  A Kangaroo that gave kisses and wrapped his razor sharp claws around a poor unsuspecting child.  Everyone should know by now that I am deathly afraid of Kangaroos.  Skippy didn’t help.  Hopping around like some Acid Tripped out Rabbit.  Ugh.

Though I caught the repeats of most of the talk to the animal shows, I still tear up every time I see gentle ben and Grizzly Adams.  It may be the beard (have a thing for those, remember?) or it might just be the Maybe song.  Whatever it is … animals sure can cheer you up even as they frustrate the hell out you, can’t they?  So in the spirit of … I dunno…Jackson getting accepted into Doggy Day Care (hopefully) I thought I would share some of the animals that we can talk to, who get us out of the jams, warn us of children stuck in wells, and entertain us with their musical and dancing abilities.

I will be logged in during the early afternoon tomorrow… then going to writing class.  You can catch me on Friday Evening for sure.  If you have a specific time you’d like to talk to me and are wondering if I’ll be around, you can always set up an appointment and I will get back to you as soon as I can to confirm.

Talk soon!

P.S.  Mr. Counselor… thank you. I still can’t quite believe it. You understand. 

P.P.S.  Everyone else:  I’ll explain in 5-7 days.

P.P.P.S.  Happy Birthday to my best girlie friend in the world, Tee. I hate myself for loving you. It’s a strange kinky type of relationship.