Whew. It’s dusty in here!

I know that I have not been around for years. Or a year. It’s been a hell of a long time. But I made a pact with myself. I’m not going to tell you what that pact is. Because as many of you know, I often make pacts with myself, others, and occasionally the devil, and I very rarely keep those pacts which explains why I have currently have no soul and my first 3 children will be Satan’s. I kid. Sort of.

So here we are again. I’ve missed you. And, oddly enough, I’ve missed this blog. It’s always been a bit of an outlet for me. But sometimes, when I put enough unneeded pressure on myself, it becomes a chore. And then I avoid it. Or, enough time goes by and I forget how cathartic it is to write and then pretty soon it’s been a year. Or, I find myself being extremely negative and really outlandishly rude and debbie downer-ish and can’t stand the words coming from my fingers and make a vow to only write when I’m feeling more positive and pretty soon a year has gone by. It’s amazing how fast time goes by. And it’s just not when you’re old, young people often feel the blur of the seasons, too. We’re just in denial, drunk, or preoccupied on other things and don’t mention it. In my literature class 2 semesters ago I came across a lovely quote: Optima dies . . . prima fugit — “The best days are the first to flew”. Yeah. I’m still trying to grasp the full meaning of that, too. Bonus points if you know which novel has this quote as its epigraph.

The past few months – ok…the past year has been filled with many things obsessive. Many of you probably already are familiar with my obsession with all things cosmetic. I kind of OD’d a bit on the whole make up thing, although I will willingly take any Inglot palettes anyone wishes to donate to the cause. I sort of found myself in a nail polish flurry the past few months where I found my modest collection of 20 nail polishes proliferate into a collection of just about at last count 600. A few days ago I stumbled onto a new obsession.

I’m not exactly sure how it happens – these fetishes. I find it insightful, alluring, entertaining, intriguing, …. to ask my callers at times where a particular “like” came from. It seems obvious for some things – a panty fetish is revealed to be connected to first seeing panties and instantly sprouting a hard on connecting the two things together in fantasy matrimony till death do you part. Other things a bit more complex. Balloon popping? Gas Pedals? asphyxiation? I can connect every thing I’ve wanted to collect into a single solitary moment, suspended in my mind by pleasure seeking threads. When I was quite young I remember having dreams of colored tights in my dresser. Every night I would go to bed and dream of them – pink, yellow, blue, every color of the rainbow. I would wake, run to my dresser, and to my disappointment find that my dreams never came true. When I see make up in rainbow color order I feel powerless. I need to have every color, regardless if it’s in my right color group or not. If I start collecting a specific brand of nail polish, I have to have ROYGBIV colors first before embarking on the other glitters and other spectrums of colors. It’s a rule – one that my friends find amusing but that I find a bit like being in a self inflicted expensive prison.

A few days ago I remembered playing on a friend’s typewriter she had “inherited” from her grandfather. It was a big, clunky black heavy thing – and we would hunt and peck out silly words on pieces of white construction paper, not knowing any better. When a mistake was made we would backspace backspace backspace and x, x, x over the offending word or words and then start over. Our typed words became a sort of distressed piece of art I suppose, but to us it was just a funny, old thing that smelled like mold, that would make funny click clack ding noises that we would play on. Until a few days ago.

In my creative writing class we had to come up with an author we wanted to study and then we were to research him or her and write like them. I picked, of course, Carrie Bradshaw. She wrote on a MAC lap top in front of her window of her New York Brownstone Apartment. And she wrote about sex. It really was a no brainer. But I still looked up other author’s I admired – real authors – not figments of the author’s imagination, as Carrie Bradshaw is to Candace Bushnell. Some wrote long hand on yellow legal pads (Toni Morrison). Some wrote on their computers and others, like Hemmingway, Burroughs, Plath, wrote their masterpieces on manual typewriters.

And so the search has begun. I’m determined to find a manual typewriter. Perhaps a Remington. This one has colored glass keys. She’s lovely!

Or maybe a Royal.

There is, for me at least, the holy grail which is the Hermes 3000, a mint green manual typewriter, rumored to type like a dream.
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I’d like a few electric typewriters from the 60′s or 70′s, too. Something that might sit on the desk in the office of Madmen, perhaps.

I have no desire to have a typewriter that doesn’t function. I don’t want it to be for looks. I want to use it. I want to hear it. I want to smell it. So there you have it. You’re the first to know of this new collection that I have been drawn to. A door in to my newest fetish. I figured I’d invite you in, as many of you have invited me in through your front doors to your fetishes through out the years. Take your shoes off. Stay a bit. Let’s talk of the best days. Before they flee.

M(Monkey)D, KIL, and the ever present guardian: Thank you so much for your latest gifts. It’s sad, I know, that it takes presents to make me write in my blog — but as many of you know, my summer class (that I wanted to drop, but certain parental figures made me stick it through) is kicking my butt backwards and forwards. I also have been busy planning a party for some other parentals in my life, as well as attempting to enjoy some part of my summer. As always, I can not do it all (I shouldn’t be surprised anymore, but yet, I am…). My schedule has gone to shit in a hand basket, all plans of podcasting have practically diminished from my sight, and yet — my ever patient loving clients still find it in their hearts to spoil me and lure me out… Well, you did it. Thank you so much. For the calls, for the emails, for the little reminders that you’re still waiting for calls, for your acceptance of my unreliable schedule. Thank you for your friendship, for your twitters, for your yahoo messages, for … well… just for YOU. And yes, thank you to those of you who tip me really well (even if it is in the form of bribes… lol!) and take the opportunity to spoil me ever so rotten by way of my wish list. I’ll update my thank yous in my amazon wish list one day soon — but you all know who you are. The lunch box for school (yay!!) the piano books, the books and movies and duvets and pillows for my MERMAID room, for the piggy banks and book of month club membership, for the “can’t sleep — here are some dvds to sleep by” gift basket, and for the bath bombs, make up kits, and eyeshadow palettes I so enjoy playing with – THANK YOU so much for making my days that much brighter and for keeping me in your thoughts even when I’m not around ‘physically’ to keep you company.

You’ve all made me a very, very happy girl.

Talk soon!

Every now and then I look around at my life and start counting my blessings and realize that I’m pretty spoiled. It’s not every day that someone asks me what I want – but when they do I exhibit every bit of teenage wanton desire and pick out a few hundred items that I feel I really need. Wishing has never been a big issue for me. I’m not by any means a princess, though several of my customers refer to me as one. SBJ in particular. I realized a few months ago that I go through these periods where I feel that if I have just one more thing that I really super duper want that my life will be complete and I will be able to sit back satisfied. This tends to happen right at some crucial moment; taking a big exam that I know I will not do very well in, getting into a fight with a best friend, sliding behind on homework or any other one of my responsibilities, etc. etc. When I’m at my most content, however, I’m able to look at my life and feel totally and completely sated. It is usually at these times that I get flooded with all types of gifts and treasures and friendships and callers and calls and compliments and … well, good stuff.

I don’t always take the time out to express my gratitude for all of you and your gifts, tributes, etc. But I felt that it was over due – so consider this post one gigantic-normous Thank You Card from me – to you.

A while back while I was watching Oprah I saw what had to be the best collection of movies I had ever seen in my life – 90 of them – all from UA Artists and dating from 1940 – 2004. I knew I HAD to have this collection – after all, movies (and writing) are my life! I placed this collection on my wish lists stating that who ever bought it for me I would express my love to them on my blog and that I would promise to blog at least 3 times a week. Even this tempting offer didn’t raise many eyebrows – but finally SBJ heard my plea and asked me a simple question: Did I want it. Of course I said yes – but I did so with a certain amount of hesitation. This collection was very expensive and I really felt it a luxury – not one like let’s say a coach bag or a pair of (ahem) diamond earrings (which he also bought for me!) or anything – but a luxury still the same. I would not even be able to watch all of the movies at once – like I often run through series (over a long weekend) – this would be a collection that I treasured for the rest of my life. But I said yes – and a few weeks after I said the magic word – the collection was mine. Thank you so very very very very much, Scott, for this amazing collection of movies. I know that it was terribly expensive and that it was certainly not easy for you to come by (long back story) but I so appreciate your sacrifice in order that I should have exactly what I wanted. I will have no problem mentioning your name in my 3 posts a week and will remind everyone that they should thank you for the updates. (lol)

Along with the UA Movies I have also received: Cooking Mama & the New Super Mario Bros. along with the Nintendo DS Lite (Pink) and Organizer (also pink) from Mr. D., Hoyle Casino 2008,Rode Mic and Stand, 4 books (Podcasting for Dummies, Syndicating Web sites with RSS Feeds, PHotoshop CS2 for Dummies, Photoshop CS2 Top 100 Simplified Tips & Tricks), Popcorn, Popping OIl and Popcorn Maker, and the 7th Season of The West Wing all from SBJ, Nintendo DS Lite Travel Kit & 3 books (The Book of Bright Ideas, Saving Fish From Drowning and The Other Boleyn Girl) from Rolf, 2 movies (August Rush, Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium) from Alex, The Beekeeper (Tori Amos) Cd, Songbook: A collection of Hits (Trisha Yearwood), Mozart Edition: Complete works (170CD Box Set) and Bach Edition: Complete Works (155 CD Box Set) from Doc, Body Shop Shea Butter & The Book of Sonatinas from Karl in London, A divine white gold anklet & VS merchandise from Tiffy (yahoo!), and even Jack got his beloved Premier Busy Buddy Tug A Jug from Craig. (whew)

Brian, Chris, SBJ, Paul, Hardallday, footstool, Thor, Mathew, chburr, sweetdee, Mr.D.,Mike & Rick: Thank you all very much for your most generous tips and cash-ola! Very much appreciated and needed – especially when I had to take off a week from work in order to take care of my health.

This is not in any way shape or form meant to take away from the generosity of all the people who were able to send gifts and cash – but I do not want to ignore the fact that many of my customers call me – sometimes more frequently than they need to – in order that I live a very blessed and fruitful life. Don’t think for a minute, guys, that I don’t see the time that you spend with me – and the loyalty that you display by calling me frequently (and then some) as one of the biggest gifts of all. So thank you to all of my “die hard customers”: Brian, Michael, Danno, Chris, Thor, Shawn, Mack, Matthew, Mathew, Guitar Gently Weeps, Jerod, Rick, Tiffy, Kevin, Ray, bigdicforu, Jay, Catwoman fan, my sweet obama lover rockstar (speaking of BITTER! *wink wink nudge nudge*) and last but not least Copperlord. Please forgive me any omissions – blame my flakiness and not my heart, please.

So as you can see – I, CeCe, am “kind of ” spoiled indeed. I have been blessed to the moon, to the stars – and back again and I have all of you to blame/thank for it. Thank You from the bottom of my heart. You have blessed me, enriched my life, tickled me, softened my knees, elbows, heart – made me twinkle, bling and shine and engaged my mind in more ways than I could ever express.
My only wish is that I’ve somehow spoiled you all in return.

Many x’s and o’s.

Sometimes I look at Jackson and I turn green with envy. He has a great life. He gets to take me for a walk (still working on the pack leader philosophy but as of yet it’s not working!) daily, gets foot placed at his feet whenever he so much as whimpers, gets only the best treats that money can buy, has more toys than any other doggy I know (including Paris’ dog Tink), gets to lay around and sleep all day on nice pillows, blankies and beds and last but not least he gets to lay my arms and snuggle up against my boobies when he’s getting up from a nap and isn’t quite ready to terrorize the household. That dog has it made. No one has mentioned college to him, no one expects him to go off and get a job, he doesn’t have to pick up after himself and he can hump his various girlfriends in public whenever he feels the urge. My Jackson is living the dog’s life to beat all dog’s lives.

But today I came really close to topping his best day. With Jackson tucked under my arm I answered the door. Mr. UPS man was holding a nice plump and juicy box for me from LUSH cosmetics. I really favored PHILOSOPHY products for awhile – and before that Melis products (but they have discontinued alot of their scents – including Orange Cream Cake – YUMMMY!) so I was a bit hesitant to try out the Lush Products. But man am I glad I did! Their creams are to die for – so thick and yummy. I also got a lip balm from them that smells good enough to eat. (I did taste it and it has no taste – darn.) The best part of the package though had to be this stuff called Candy Fluff. Oh My Goodness! It’s dusting powder (talc powder) that comes in this little pink canister thingee – that smells like … candy. It smells absolutely sweet enough to drink/eat. I’m planning on washing my sheets in a minute – drying them – and then dusting them with a layer of this stuff tonight before I go to bed. It is that delicious. It momentarily jostled me out of my Gilmore Girls Heaven – and that’s saying a lot because I basically sleep with that series on now. I should have really waited until after my math final. *sigh*

So thanks again Scott for the Gilmore girls – and my Mister Pimp Lush Man who will be happy to know I added a few more things from LUSH onto my girlie wish list.

I better go for now. The TV is off – my bed is stripped and the laundry room awaits me. Jackson probably needs a treat, too, come to think of it. It’s been about 2 hours since he last had one and he tends to get a bit violent when I wait too long.

My cold is a bit better (thank you GOD for sudafed and vitamin C) and my teeth – well – I think they are straighter today – LOL. I probably should put my rubber bands back on though for the full pain dosage my Doc requires.

I’ll be logging on this evening around 9:00PM and will stay logged on till about 12:00 Midnight – maybe 1:00AM if my nasal passages are clear and open. LOL! Sorry – but breathing thru my nose is important during certain calls. I know you understand – or you’re having a fun time trying to figure it all out… *wink*

Talk soon…

Thanksgiving came and went with out a hitch – is that what “they” say? (who is THEY?) The turkey was absolutely delicious. My father found this recipe and he and the turkey grew quite close. Every day for 4 days he took the turkey (that was fresh) out of it’s frigid home in the refrigerator and slathered it inside and out with the salt. I was initially very concerned about the turkey being a bit salty – but surprisingly enough, it wasn’t. I don’t know enough about chemistry to really figure out what the salt did – but the juice in that little turkey was unbelievable…even the white meat was delicious – not dry at all! I had every intention of not over eating – but the food. Dear God The Food! The stuffing melted in my mouth. The pumpkin pie … God – it was heavenly. Then there was the mashed potatoes, which I created on my own with butter and milk and salt. Yum-my! My plan to eat well … well … yeah. After our 2 mile walk I had recovered. Recovered enough to have a 2nd piece of pumpkin pie. *sigh* I never learn.

I have a lot of things to cover. I know it’s been a long time between posts. Sometimes I think I do this on purpose – take days off between posts, I mean. If a lot of days go on by – then most of the time I have a plethora of topics of which I can choose from. I could, of course, write every day. I can write every second of every day – but the more I write the more real topics come out – topics that I don’t feel safe discussing in “here” all the time. Some things are private – too private for a blog, you know? But anyways – a lot of time has gone by between posts – and I’ve gotten quite a few remarks about it. Enough remarks for me to reconsider my posting habits on this blog. Also about a month ago I told a dear writer/editor friend of mine that I would take time out and write every day. I think that he might consider writing in this blog part of that writing assignment. I know I can just “check in” as Tiffy wants me to do – but nothing is ever “half way” with me. Even when I work … I have to put it all in there. Work the full hours. Or Not work at all. Though that has been getting better – I cut myself off by 12:00AM/1:00AM on most nights. But…well, I’ve discussed it before. Everyone who knows me knows my personality and discussing it doesn’t make my personality any less – well – manic. Like, take this paragraph for instance. All that needs to be said is that I’ll be writing in this blog at least 3 times a week. *sigh*

My birthday was an absolute success! My family spoiled me and if there was any bit of spoiling left to do – well – all of you took care of that! The gifts just keep on coming! There really is no quick way to do this – so hang in there – glance through this long paragraph for your name and after finding it move quickly to the closing of this post – it’s the little paragraph where I tie in the title to the rest of the post. In no particular order: Thank you Ron for the Stephanie Plum Boxed Set (books 1-3), Thank you Doctor D for the Candy Fluff Dusting Poweder, Chocolate Whipstick Lip Balm, Sympathy for the Skin Body Cream, Creamed Almond and Coconut Shower Smoothie and Dream Cream Body Cream all by Lush. The stuff is delicious and you were so absolutely wonderful for spoiling me so! Thank you to Rolf for the All In One Printer, Someone named anonymous sent me the complete series Everybody Loves Raymond – so thanks Mr. A. Um – My dear friend Greg sent me his favorite movie Pleasantville (Thanks so much!) Thank you to my sweet Tiffy for sending me MAC Pink Poodle, The book Wicked, Marbles, and a great VS Gift Certificate which I promptly used to buy matching prison stripe panties, sweat pants and a sweat shirt. Mike B sent me Alicia Keys newest CD, Scott bought me Gilmore Girls which I love SO much!, Dan sent me the Rhianna album Good Girls Gone Bad and man. There may be more gifts on the way so I’ll update again with the Thank Yous. I PROMISE!
UR, Mr. PP, Mama Tee, Ray, ScottA, Dave, Mack, Mr. HingOfHearts, Bob, Joe, Beno, and Martin – thank you all so much for your Happy Birthday Wishes. It was so sweet of you to take time out of your phone calls with me to wish me well on my special day. *time to prepare for the big closing…*

I don’t feel a bit older, really. But I feel a LOT richer this year – and not for the obvious reasons, sillies! Your friendship through this past year, the gifts and laughs and the incredibly big ears that listen to me – soak up all my concerns and dreams and fantasies. You’ve all been blessings to me – delectable gifts that I treasure. Thank you.