You’ve all made me a very, very happy girl.

Talk soon!

I don’t always take the time out to express my gratitude for all of you and your gifts, tributes, etc. But I felt that it was over due – so consider this post one gigantic-normous Thank You Card from me – to you.

A while back while I was watching Oprah I saw what had to be the best collection of movies I had ever seen in my life – 90 of them – all from UA Artists and dating from 1940 – 2004. I knew I HAD to have this collection – after all, movies (and writing) are my life! I placed this collection on my wish lists stating that who ever bought it for me I would express my love to them on my blog and that I would promise to blog at least 3 times a week. Even this tempting offer didn’t raise many eyebrows – but finally SBJ heard my plea and asked me a simple question: Did I want it. Of course I said yes – but I did so with a certain amount of hesitation. This collection was very expensive and I really felt it a luxury – not one like let’s say a coach bag or a pair of (ahem) diamond earrings (which he also bought for me!) or anything – but a luxury still the same. I would not even be able to watch all of the movies at once – like I often run through series (over a long weekend) – this would be a collection that I treasured for the rest of my life. But I said yes – and a few weeks after I said the magic word – the collection was mine. Thank you so very very very very much, Scott, for this amazing collection of movies. I know that it was terribly expensive and that it was certainly not easy for you to come by (long back story) but I so appreciate your sacrifice in order that I should have exactly what I wanted. I will have no problem mentioning your name in my 3 posts a week and will remind everyone that they should thank you for the updates. (lol)

Along with the UA Movies I have also received: Cooking Mama & the New Super Mario Bros. along with the Nintendo DS Lite (Pink) and Organizer (also pink) from Mr. D., Hoyle Casino 2008,Rode Mic and Stand, 4 books (Podcasting for Dummies, Syndicating Web sites with RSS Feeds, PHotoshop CS2 for Dummies, Photoshop CS2 Top 100 Simplified Tips & Tricks), Popcorn, Popping OIl and Popcorn Maker, and the 7th Season of The West Wing all from SBJ, Nintendo DS Lite Travel Kit & 3 books (The Book of Bright Ideas, Saving Fish From Drowning and The Other Boleyn Girl) from Rolf, 2 movies (August Rush, Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium) from Alex, The Beekeeper (Tori Amos) Cd, Songbook: A collection of Hits (Trisha Yearwood), Mozart Edition: Complete works (170CD Box Set) and Bach Edition: Complete Works (155 CD Box Set) from Doc, Body Shop Shea Butter & The Book of Sonatinas from Karl in London, A divine white gold anklet & VS merchandise from Tiffy (yahoo!), and even Jack got his beloved Premier Busy Buddy Tug A Jug from Craig. (whew)

Brian, Chris, SBJ, Paul, Hardallday, footstool, Thor, Mathew, chburr, sweetdee, Mr.D.,Mike & Rick: Thank you all very much for your most generous tips and cash-ola! Very much appreciated and needed – especially when I had to take off a week from work in order to take care of my health.

This is not in any way shape or form meant to take away from the generosity of all the people who were able to send gifts and cash – but I do not want to ignore the fact that many of my customers call me – sometimes more frequently than they need to – in order that I live a very blessed and fruitful life. Don’t think for a minute, guys, that I don’t see the time that you spend with me – and the loyalty that you display by calling me frequently (and then some) as one of the biggest gifts of all. So thank you to all of my “die hard customers”: Brian, Michael, Danno, Chris, Thor, Shawn, Mack, Matthew, Mathew, Guitar Gently Weeps, Jerod, Rick, Tiffy, Kevin, Ray, bigdicforu, Jay, Catwoman fan, my sweet obama lover rockstar (speaking of BITTER! *wink wink nudge nudge*) and last but not least Copperlord. Please forgive me any omissions – blame my flakiness and not my heart, please.

So as you can see – I, CeCe, am “kind of ” spoiled indeed. I have been blessed to the moon, to the stars – and back again and I have all of you to blame/thank for it. Thank You from the bottom of my heart. You have blessed me, enriched my life, tickled me, softened my knees, elbows, heart – made me twinkle, bling and shine and engaged my mind in more ways than I could ever express.
My only wish is that I’ve somehow spoiled you all in return.

Many x’s and o’s.

But today I came really close to topping his best day. With Jackson tucked under my arm I answered the door. Mr. UPS man was holding a nice plump and juicy box for me from LUSH cosmetics. I really favored PHILOSOPHY products for awhile – and before that Melis products (but they have discontinued alot of their scents – including Orange Cream Cake – YUMMMY!) so I was a bit hesitant to try out the Lush Products. But man am I glad I did! Their creams are to die for – so thick and yummy. I also got a lip balm from them that smells good enough to eat. (I did taste it and it has no taste – darn.) The best part of the package though had to be this stuff called Candy Fluff. Oh My Goodness! It’s dusting powder (talc powder) that comes in this little pink canister thingee – that smells like … candy. It smells absolutely sweet enough to drink/eat. I’m planning on washing my sheets in a minute – drying them – and then dusting them with a layer of this stuff tonight before I go to bed. It is that delicious. It momentarily jostled me out of my Gilmore Girls Heaven – and that’s saying a lot because I basically sleep with that series on now. I should have really waited until after my math final. *sigh*

So thanks again Scott for the Gilmore girls – and my Mister Pimp Lush Man who will be happy to know I added a few more things from LUSH onto my girlie wish list.

I better go for now. The TV is off – my bed is stripped and the laundry room awaits me. Jackson probably needs a treat, too, come to think of it. It’s been about 2 hours since he last had one and he tends to get a bit violent when I wait too long.

My cold is a bit better (thank you GOD for sudafed and vitamin C) and my teeth – well – I think they are straighter today – LOL. I probably should put my rubber bands back on though for the full pain dosage my Doc requires.

I’ll be logging on this evening around 9:00PM and will stay logged on till about 12:00 Midnight – maybe 1:00AM if my nasal passages are clear and open. LOL! Sorry – but breathing thru my nose is important during certain calls. I know you understand – or you’re having a fun time trying to figure it all out… *wink*

Talk soon…

I have a lot of things to cover. I know it’s been a long time between posts. Sometimes I think I do this on purpose – take days off between posts, I mean. If a lot of days go on by – then most of the time I have a plethora of topics of which I can choose from. I could, of course, write every day. I can write every second of every day – but the more I write the more real topics come out – topics that I don’t feel safe discussing in “here” all the time. Some things are private – too private for a blog, you know? But anyways – a lot of time has gone by between posts – and I’ve gotten quite a few remarks about it. Enough remarks for me to reconsider my posting habits on this blog. Also about a month ago I told a dear writer/editor friend of mine that I would take time out and write every day. I think that he might consider writing in this blog part of that writing assignment. I know I can just “check in” as Tiffy wants me to do – but nothing is ever “half way” with me. Even when I work … I have to put it all in there. Work the full hours. Or Not work at all. Though that has been getting better – I cut myself off by 12:00AM/1:00AM on most nights. But…well, I’ve discussed it before. Everyone who knows me knows my personality and discussing it doesn’t make my personality any less – well – manic. Like, take this paragraph for instance. All that needs to be said is that I’ll be writing in this blog at least 3 times a week. *sigh*

My birthday was an absolute success! My family spoiled me and if there was any bit of spoiling left to do – well – all of you took care of that! The gifts just keep on coming! There really is no quick way to do this – so hang in there – glance through this long paragraph for your name and after finding it move quickly to the closing of this post – it’s the little paragraph where I tie in the title to the rest of the post. In no particular order: Thank you Ron for the Stephanie Plum Boxed Set (books 1-3), Thank you Doctor D for the Candy Fluff Dusting Poweder, Chocolate Whipstick Lip Balm, Sympathy for the Skin Body Cream, Creamed Almond and Coconut Shower Smoothie and Dream Cream Body Cream all by Lush. The stuff is delicious and you were so absolutely wonderful for spoiling me so! Thank you to Rolf for the All In One Printer, Someone named anonymous sent me the complete series Everybody Loves Raymond – so thanks Mr. A. Um – My dear friend Greg sent me his favorite movie Pleasantville (Thanks so much!) Thank you to my sweet Tiffy for sending me MAC Pink Poodle, The book Wicked, Marbles, and a great VS Gift Certificate which I promptly used to buy matching prison stripe panties, sweat pants and a sweat shirt. Mike B sent me Alicia Keys newest CD, Scott bought me Gilmore Girls which I love SO much!, Dan sent me the Rhianna album Good Girls Gone Bad and man. There may be more gifts on the way so I’ll update again with the Thank Yous. I PROMISE!
UR, Mr. PP, Mama Tee, Ray, ScottA, Dave, Mack, Mr. HingOfHearts, Bob, Joe, Beno, and Martin – thank you all so much for your Happy Birthday Wishes. It was so sweet of you to take time out of your phone calls with me to wish me well on my special day. *time to prepare for the big closing…*

I don’t feel a bit older, really. But I feel a LOT richer this year – and not for the obvious reasons, sillies! Your friendship through this past year, the gifts and laughs and the incredibly big ears that listen to me – soak up all my concerns and dreams and fantasies. You’ve all been blessings to me – delectable gifts that I treasure. Thank you.

A while ago people were asking me what I really wanted for my bday. I even had a person who had never called me ask me what I wanted for my birthday. To use his words – what I “REALLY wanted” (ah tell me what you want what you really really want!) At first these requests after establishing an 8 page wish list seemed silly to me – but when I thought about it a few days ago I realized that my wishlist can read sort of like some crazy cryptic message. To me – it all makes sense. I can tell you by looking at any page of my wish list exactly what I was thinking about. I can tell you what classes I was taking – what caught my attention during that particular time of my life or school year or whatever. But from the outside I know it looks a bit – crazy and schizophrenic. So … here is the one and only bday post I will do (until next year.) I will put it on out there what gifts I would really like to have – above all the other presents on my wish list. I also went through my list today and removed a few things that no longer interested me (like the vibrators – cuz well – Mr. Hitachi wand and the little bunny makes all those other toys totally unnecessary!) Once again – these gifts are merely suggestions. Anything on my wish list will tickle me pink.

Ok … so here we go.

If you don’t mind the thought of me watching too much television when I should be working hard on my math homework – these dvd collections would thrill me completely! THE DIRECTORS- THE ESSENTIAL DVD COLLECTION is mega expensive – but hey… if you have a few hundred burning a hole in your pocket – you can indulge me and get it. Isn’t the case absolutely ADORABLE? THE BILLY WILDER COLLECTION is gorgeous, too. Also any MUPPET SHOW series – or best of collection would be cool beans! EVERYONE LOVES RAYMOND, I LOVE LUCY, GILMORE GIRLS or THE BRADY BUNCH would all be way cool too. Especially RAYMOND or BRADY BUNCH! If it would make you feel better to send me something to read – then THE COMPLETE WORKS OF SHAKESPEARE, STEPHANIE PLUM BOXED SET (I don’t have any of them so please start at the beginning and purchase the first set first and so on… ), JANE AUSTEN COLLECTION or the ROALD DAHL Gift Set would be cool times a billion. There are also 3 (or is it 4?) POST SECRET books that I’ve been DYING to have. If you realize by now that I have plenty to read – and really want me to finish the recordings I’ve been promising for a year now – you can get me that really cool USB Microphone. If you want me to just write already and stop procrastinating my life away by watching too many movies – you can pick up any number of journals on my list – or hey – (a girl can dream!) buy me that Mac Lap Top I’m orgasming over. If you’d rather give me something more romantic or just want to spoil me a little bit – you can send me a gift certificate on Amazon and I can get some perfume or jewelry or lotion or whatever. And if you realize by now that music is my life – the new Itouch or the new Ipod 8 GB would suffice. *wink* Beyond these suggestions – anything that is on my wishlist (honestly) I would be happy to recieve. By now everyone knows what a movie freak I am – and how much I love Julie Andrews. A simple DVD of my absolute IDOL would be a sweet and truly appreciated present. Hopefully these suggestions will help all who asked. I see I’ve already received a few gifts from my list already and a few teasing emails from “secret” admirers telling me they are sending me things… and that I need to wait to open up the actual package on my bday. (yeah – right!)

I’m totally sleepy right now. NF went down right as I was speaking to Mr. Pink. (been a long time, mister!) – and it doesn’t look like NF will be up until way later. Jackson had another class today along with a grooming appointment and he wore me out. I hear him tumbing about in his crate right now – and if I stay up much later he’ll think it’s time to get up and play and ai won’t be sleeping until this afternoon. I’ll log in for a bit tomorrow – and Sunday – though I have a date with the Tiffers – and I think I have a date earlier in the afternoon with UR – Who is celebrating a certain um … Half a century event!

Have a great evening – thanks for the gifts and calls so far – and have a safe and wonderful day of Thanks – in case I don’t get back til after the blessed event. Hope the turkey isn’t dry – and that your relatives don’t drive you too crazy.

I picked up some really horrible flu this past week. The flu left me with about a tablespoon of energy and about as much concentration. There was only one thing for me to do. I grabbed Jackson, a blanket, and the remote – and watched a 6 hour dvd special on the history of Broadway. I missed my calling. I shoulda been born a gay male dancer with a fabulous tenor voice. I know that’s probably a bit of unfair stereotyping there – but I think I’d have a much better chance on broadway if I were a tenor. Ok ok – a baritone.

This wonderous dvd special – courtesy of the original puppy before THE puppy Jackson was absolutely a godsend. Fosse, Chicago, Rent, Wicked, Chorus Line, ummm… Sweeny Todd (how horrible that musical is – and how absolutely SCARY! I MUST see it!!) West Side Story – and more! And the very best part? It was hosted by THE goddess of all Goddesses – Julia F’inAndrews!!! I suddenly felt life being returned to my limp body. As my feet started to dance along with the Jets in West Side Story this post came to mind. Music always has a way of transporting me back to reality somehow. Ok – I know that sounded really silly – talking about West Side Story and “reality” in the same sentence. I am well aware that the gangs in LA aren’t talking about “having their way – to niiiightttt” or some guy calling CeCe through the streets of some quaint Southern California suburb or whatever. I also know that most people don’t break out in song during crucial moments of their lives (though I can’t understand why they don’t!) – but musicals have always energized me somehow. They make things better. And musicals with great songs like “For Good” and “Glory” and “Seasons of Love” and even the corny “Climb Every Mountain”… well … if I’m lost and flailing about and overwhelmed…these musicals always bring me back to some pleasant day/time/feeling/situation or whatever.

So after the PBS church experience – I broke out my math homework and plotted points and solved for x and y in straight line inear expressions or whatever the fuck I’m doing in that class now. And you know what? I’m over it. I’m seriously over it. I’m over school. I’m over even trying to motivate myself to go. And I don’t think it’s because I’m depressed – I just … I just don’t want to do it. And I know that I should push myself to do things that I don’t necessarily like because life is hard and part of growing up is doing things you don’t necessarily like and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah times a trillion million – but GOD DANG. I hate that shit. It feels like such a damn waste of time. Would I feel that way if I were taking a class in let’s say – writing or something? I don’t know. Am I willing to try it out for a semester? I don’t know yet. But I’m tired of Math. Just thought I’d say that. I really don’t care what x and y are.

So anyways – the title of this post? I broke out the ipod the other day and listened to Cassandra Wilson’s version of Cyndi Lauper’s classic Time After Time. Cassandra sings it so eloquently – so dark and deep like thick fudge that is just starting to cool and harden. Her voice just wraps around you and that song is just so beautiful anyways. The song seems to echo the type of friendships I’ve learned to treasure. It comes so easily – slowly and deliberately, you know? Pretty soon you’re wrapped up in lovely tones and voices. Everything is just as it should be. And you wondered why it took you so long to listen.

No promises, ok? But I’ll try to write more often. I really will try.

So why the title? Well – a funny thing happens in Southern California after a fire. Animals start appearing that use to stay far away in hills and on mountain sides. Animals like – cougars. yeah. I’m not lying.

About a week ago a cougar hopped over a 6 foot fence in an adjoining neighborhood – mauled a little puppy – and ran off with a 50 lb (or was it 60?) dog in it’s mouth. The owners were eating breakfast and didn’t hear the doggies in the yard and went to investigate and found one puppy badly injured, and the other doggy was missing. They ran up the hill behind their house I guess and found a little bit of fur lying in a pool of blood. After the Vet had examined the other puppy that had managed to escape the cougar – they realized that the injuries were cougar related. There is a law in California that you can not hunt cougars (looks out the window nervously.) So anyways – Jackson is not allowed out in the yard with out supervision. Supposedly cougars are okay until they are surprised (or hungry) but um – yeah. Jackson would be like some finger food before the bigger meal (me?) so I’m a bit nervous at the present moment. Gotta love LA. Writers strike, Santa Ana winds, Fires, Arnold S. for governor, and now Lions running amuck.

Tonight we fall back – so I’m going to be on for a bit tonight. I’ll at least be on alerts for awhile – because, well, I can be. And I wasn’t on very long yesterday (just long enough to speak to my sweetie “chair” – HI Sweetie !! – Thanks for the call) due to Puppy School Fridays.

And since you asked – Puppy school is going alright. I do wish, however, that children were not allowed unless they could behave. There were five more children there this past Friday. They seem to be multiplying. Also – Jack was one of 2 of his breeds last week. This week – there were 2 other doggies – and the rest were all Maltese. I don’t know how that happened, either. Jackson was tortured by 3 boys. The two girls were on the other side of the training area. Jack would have been better off next to the girls. The little boy (the California Strangler) was better behaved, too. But the 3 boys, Satan, Damien, and Lucifer, were horrible: dropping treats everywhere, bouncing balls in front of Jack, and grabbing his tail attempting to distract him from his lesson.

We learned how to walk on the leash, how to sit (Jack learned that weeks ago), and received tips on how to stop biting. I walked by the snack aisles, walked past the really cute t-shirts (Nearly Famous – how cute is that!?!), and even managed to walk by the really cute blankets and cute beds. TAH DAH.

I better go … I’ll talk with you later on this evening. Tomorrow I will be on in the evening, too – but have a date with the Tiffers. What time was that date again, Tiffy? midnight? Last call of the evening? Make an appointment before then because after Tiffy I’ll be hitting the hay. School on Monday, remember.

Talk soon…

I have to admit that when I thought of getting a puppy I thought of only the really positive things. I would sit and day dream about a little white puff of fur sitting next to me while I drove around – pressing his cute little puppy dog face to the window and charming passerbys. I also thought about carrying him around (yes – I admit it – I did) in a little carry bag – where he would peek his little puppy nose out of from time to time and then cuddle back in the bag (designer of course) where he would remain – quiet – until I decided to take him out. The best dreams I had about Jackson were the ones in my bed – where he would cuddle next to me and sleep under the covers and his soft puppy fur would warm my body (or at least 5 inches of a thigh…) and we would wake up in the morning and eat breakfast together over the morning paper. Ok – that last part was exaggerated. I really did believe the other parts though.

Jackson is nothing like this.

Granted he is still a baby. And his brain is probably the size of a pea (says the good “doc”) – but man… I had NO idea parenthood would be so challenging. I really did not. So when Jackson decided at 15 weeks to refuse sleep until he had his daily and nightly romps around the house – living room – etc. I felt unprepared. I placed him in his crate at the foot of my bed like I always do – and he started the most horrible whining I have ever heard. At first I ignored it. He had already peed, he had had his treats, his dinner, his wine, etc. There was no reason for the crying and carrying around that he was doing. But he was persistant – and finally I had to let him out – which I guess only further trained him into believing that if he wailed enough Momma would let him out and he could have the run of the house.

I don’t think it was his dramatic thrashing and crying in his crate that made me do it. The spoiling came much earlier. There were the clothes – and the food (I bought at least 3 different kinds of kibble before deciding on the one I would use!) and then there were the snacks. Jackson has taken over the coffee table. The coffee table has these 6 compartments that hold 12 baskets (6 on each side of the table… get it?) and Jackson has taken over 1/2 of the table (the 1/2 that faces the couch.) It’s out of control. His clothes fill one basket. His shampoo and conditioner (because I didn’t know what kind to buy – I basically bought every kind the store carried) are in another. Then his grooming supplies (nail clippers, detangler spray, and about 3 different brushes/slickers/combs) are in another basket. He has plastic toys (another basket) and then there are his snacks (still another basket), his leashes fill another (blue and red collars complete with leads) and the final basket is just filled with extra stuff that doesn’t go anywhere else. I think his dog charms for his collar are in that basket along with a few other trinkets. It doesn’t sound too bad, does it?

that’s because I haven’t gotten to the other containers in the house that house Jackson shit. Like the basket in the corner of the living room that has every toy imaginable. You thought the toys were in the basket in the coffee table? Oh no. Those toys are PLASTIC squeak toys – the toys in the basket in the corner of the living room are his rope toys, his plush toys (like his gf Mrs. Zebra) and the balls he plays with. Yeah – I needed a separate basket for those. Even though Jackson sleeps in a crate at the foot of my bed – he also has a crate that he eats and travels in. Well, he’s suppose to travel in it while in my car, that was until I bought a car seat specially for him – which he also (surprise surprise) hates. Then there is the soft carry crate that he hates – but unfortunately he didn’t tell me that before I bought that one. Then there is the carry bag that now serves as his “diaper” bag – you know – the bag I put all his little things in when we go traveling and that I carry with me in the car in case we are stuck in it for a week or something and can’t get to civilization. There is a tiny water bottle in that diaper bag, along with 7 days worth of food, toys, a bone or two, a pee pad, and a few other items. Oh – and Jackson also has 2 beds. One in his little kitchen pen (consisting of two babygates that I also purchased) – and then another bed in the living room – JUST IN CASE he gets tired and wants to rest there. As If.

I am mentioning this knowing that I have a problem. I know that I have to admit to the problem (and that I am powerless over spoiling a 3 lb dog) before true healing can take place. I am now going cold turkey. Jackson has every treat he needs and I don’t need to get him any more. But you can, if you wish. He also has every toy he could possibly need to chew, hump, and attempt to eat – but if you wish you can buy him more. He also has enough beds, crates, and blankets – but again… I will not be purchasing one more book, one more toy, one more treat, one more anything for that doggy for the next month. Enough is enough (is enough.) I can’t go on like this much longer. I will be in debt because of him – and there are other things I could be spending my money on. But again…if YOU want to spoil him … go right ahead. He won’t stop you – he sure as hell didn’t stop me.

Thanksgiving marks the day that the Christmas playlist comes out of hibernation. Babs, Julie Andrews, and even Kenny G in his god awful imitation of saxaphone playing makes my playlist at Christmas time. I play Christmas carols non stop from Thanksgiving onward and I enjoy every moment of it. And while we’re talking about Christmas holidays – white lights – not colored ones – and I’m not being racial about it, it’s just that white lights look pretty and the colored lights look gawdy as hell. No food on the trees either – that’s just obnoxious to me. Sorry. And while we’re at it – you can keep the tinsel (cats eat it and that’s so not attractive the day after!) – and snow men that are animated in the front lawn. I’m a minimalist when it comes to Christmas. It’s too bad that my family doesn’t feel the same way. The other year my father proudly put reindeer in the front lawn – and even though there is no one in my family that believes in Santa – the milk and cookies still sit by the fireplace with the stockings hanging by the fire (with care.) My father takes great pride in his decorating and if he had it his way he would put a Santa with a sleigh and all how ever many reindeer there are on the roof top while blasting carols through a loud speaker mounted to the side of the house for good measure. I keep telling him that Jesus is the reason for the season (his words – not mine) but he shushes me up with – “What would Jesus do? He would decorate decorate decorate – it’s his bday party for crying out loud!” My father, if you haven’t guessed, is a loon.

I bring up Christmas and the holidays because well – it’s almost here. I’ve been receiving quite a few calls in regards to my birthday (November 24th – thanks for asking! lol!) and my wishlist on amazon. Quite a few of you are wondering if I can update it a bit for the holiday season and well – I’ll try to. But honestly – anything on that list would make a great Christmas present. I’m REALLY craving the Gilmore Girls box set to be quite honest. I also am craving the Director’s series that is currently unavailable on amazon – but I did find it here. *double triple axel with a drool for good measure* This thing gives me absolute female wood. It’s majorly expensive though – so it’s like a dream, really. But man – I would love to have that orgasmic pile of dvds in my little capable hands! I’m not a perfume type of gal (except for this gorgeous stuff right here… yummy yummy in my tummy tum tum!) – and I really don’t have any need for jewelry or anything like that. I would love a gift certificate to petsmart, though (you can send it to my email address – Celinawetdreams@gmail.com.) A gift certificate to Barnes & Noble (nobel?) might be nice though – for school books next semester – and a few tributes towards my education would be swell, too (lol@my use of the word swell) – and well – if you’re a millionaire you could always buy me a mac desk top cuz I’m so over PC’s…other than that – nah. Everything I could ever desire (well almost) is on my wish list and at the risk of sounding like one of the characters in Little Women – I mainly just want it to be a good “season” of good calls – so that I can lavish my family and friends with wonderful gifts. Seriously – I have so much more fun GIVING gifts and wrapping them up and stuff. I love finding the just right present for someone and I love seeing their face when they open it up. It makes me extremely happy to give presents and wrap them up in pretty paper – and send out cards to relatives and friends and teachers and stuff. As much as I moan and groan about Christmas time – I really look forward to it and really get into the groove around um – December 22nd or so. (lol!)

Speaking of gifts – I really need to thank a few people for their generousity. Not only have I been completely blessed this past weekend (and the weekend before) with plenty of calls and great new callers whom I always enjoy breaking in (hehe) – I’ve also been greatly blessed with presents from my wish list. My dear Uncle Randy sent me the rest of the books that I needed for my screenwriting class – as well as a rather expensive computer program, Final Draft. I was so excited – I can’t even express it in words!! Final Draft is THE software that every great screenwriter uses – so to have my very own copy on my very own mac lap top is … A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! I have already started to use it to write my first 30 pages – to develop my characters – to make little notes to myself about plots and so on … it’s just the best piece of software ever. Thank you so much UR for sending it to me. I couldn’t have afforded such a thing for a very long time and was almost getting prepared to use a cheapie free version that wouldn’t allow me half the freedom that Final Draft does. You seriously made my semester at school a much easier one! I also received the wizdog from my dearest sweetest doc in the whole wide world which Jackson has already used a few times so hopefully he catches on to it quickly. For those of you who have been following my puppy training dilemas – Jackson pees on pads at the moment because he is not able to go outside. Pee pads are these sort of diapers you place on the floor for your puppy to … eliminate on. Jackson does this part fine – but then sees to destroy the evidence of the pee pad by using his razor sharp teeth to destroy the pad – reducing his pen to some nightmarish sort of Christmas scene – complete with snow and piles of dog poop in the snow drifts. It’s like he can’t help himself and no matter how much tape I used he still would find the inside of the pads and go to town. This wizdog however will take care of the problem. Currently he is screaming like I’m killing him though while in his crate – so I don’t think he’s eliminated as much as he would like to. God help me. Anyways – fuck anyways – I’ll be right back – let me see if he has to go or if he just wants to play before bedtime. (the old “can i have a glass of water mommy” trick, you know.)
Ok – he has stopped for a moment. Fuck – I lied. BRB. Ok – I’m back. So this wizdog contraption is basically a tray that holds the pee pad – and then there is a plastic slab/grid that goes on top that holds the pee pad in the tray and beyond the reach of the little puppy claws and teeth. So far it has worked like a charm – though Jackson gave it the ole I’m stubborn just like my moms college try. Ha! The wizdog is too much for him – even his puppy teeth and ridiculous determination can’t break through that grid (though I did notice earlier today that his teeth HAVE broke through 2 of the grids on the baby gate – I give it another few months before he shawshank redemptions his ass out of that barrier.) Thank You so much, Doc for the wizdog. I really think that it will work wonders and save me the trouble of wading through a sea of poop, pee pad snow, and masking tape. *Muahz times a trillion!* In addition to these things I’ve also received through the weeks several dozen movies – a great cd and several books from sweetest nazi in the whole wide world, Rolf, (private joke moment – Rolf really is only a nazi in the movie The Sound Of Music – and in his spare time volunteers at several Lutheran Churches in the area…) and well – Jack, too, has been spoiled by some of you and he thanks you for the gifts and requests that you don’t stop. I’m just the messenger, here…

So yes, Christmas has already started around here it would seem, huh? *soft music begins to play* but the BEST Christmas/Bday presents this past month have absolutely and with out a doubt been the incredible feedback and tributes you’ve given to me. Oh My Goodness. Sometimes I read through the feedback and literally blush. I can’t believe that you all have such sweet things to say to me – and sometimes I really don’t feel that deserving of it. I mean – I KNOW I do a good job at what I do because in part I enjoy what I do alot. And I’m not talking about the canned response about masturbating. Sometimes I get horny, yes, and I do play a bit – but MOSTLY I enjoy pleasing all of you! I love the changes in your voices as you are about to “finish” – I love even the embarrassed laugh some of you give at the end of a call with your disclaimer that you’re really not half as nasty as you claim to be during the fantasies (lol!) – I love your hushed whispers as you hide in closets to get in your quick fix before joining the wife in bed – I love the sigh of pleasure you give before you say “thank you” at the end of the call. I love the surprise in your voice as you realize that I do (even if I forget initially) remember your fantasy and that I have (even if I ask that you call me back while I read it!) read your emails and taken your fantasy into my little fantasy factory and spun a new tale around it. These things give me pleasure – so when I get your feedback in addition to all these other things I feel totally and completely spoiled! Thank you for making me days and nites by taking the time to do that. A few days ago I sent out a over 20 home made thank you cards to those of you who took the time to say a little something on my listings. These cards will change once a month and will always feature a little picture of me in the graphic. Just a little “thank you” from me to you. At the end of the month I’ll also be sending a few of you something extra special – so keep a look out around Halloween, ok?

Ok – I’ll be on alerts for the rest of the nite. I’m a little bit pooped from the busy weekend and need to prepare myself for my next Algebra test. By the way – I got the horse, I passed my Math test (I got a B+) and Jackson is getting BIG! He now fetches – and “drops” it like it’s hot on demand. He also knows “down”, “sit” – and the sound of a can filled with coins when he does something bad. He is absolutely adorable and I can’t imagine my life with out that little guy. I can’t help but love him – even when he’s bad. Everyone that meets him falls in love with him. Anyways – I better run and tend to him. I’ll spell check and link up some of the things I talked about in an hour or so… so if you’re here before 12:00AM Tuesday – my apologies. Jack is less patient than most of my readers…

Happy Holidays – (just kiddin… you got a few more days…)

On Wednesday I attended my writing class and learned more about plot points. LOL. I’m not so bitter about it anymore though. Honestly. Tiffy – you can put your letter away – I won’t be needing it anymore. I realized that truthfully – my teacher is just doing what I need him to do right now and that is give me a handy dandy excuse as to why I’m not writing. We go through this a lot here on this diary, people … feel free to just power ahead – skip a few paragraphs and pick up around the time I talk about my favorite callers. I won’t mind.

See, my teach wants us to know about the whole plot point thing to the point that we recite them every time we see a movie. Hmmm .. that was plot number 14 me thinks! It impresses your friends and other movie goers. But for reals, he really does want it to sink into our skulls. The plot points are our mid-term and the 30 pages of script are our final. I should be a bit more, um … what’s the word I’m looking for? … oh yeah! I should be more appreciative (lol) of my teacher. The other reason why I should be thankful is that I have not written a thing. I really hate when Rolf is right (lord knows I do!) but he’s right. There is absolutely NOTHING that is getting in my way of writing. There hasn’t EVER been anything that has gotten in my way. Even when I didn’t have the right software (which now thanks to Uncle Randy I will – thank you SO much U.R. for buying me Final Draft! You are a Godsend and I absolutely love you for giving me such a great present with out me even HINTING at it. I’ve hinted to other people about that damn program but never to you *smiles* so it was really sweet that you saw I needed it for class and went ahead and got it for me!) I didn’t have an excuse for not writing SOMETHING. Even before I knew what plot points were I certainly had ideas in my head and I certainly could have written them down. The sad truth about me – when it comes to writing in particular – is that I have this fear factor that haunts my sweet ass whenever it comes time to really do that one thing that I really love. And truth be told I will find all kinds of excuses or reasons for not doing any of it. First I needed to de-clutter my home so I could think. Um – I decluttered and I still didn’t write. Then I thought – okay – I need to take a class or something – so I took a class. Still did not write (and this was before the current class I’m taking.) So then I thought what I really need is a writing partner – but then I sort of have sabatoged those friendships in various ways so they can’t hold me accountable for writing. Ok – so then I thought what I needed was books – paper – a printer – a lap top – um… a brain transplant. The truth is – while all of these things will help me TREMENDOUSLY (especially that brain transplant) I have had the ability to write every single day – at least something – and I haven’t done it. So ok, Rolf, you got me. Once again. I’m not even mad about it anymore, honestly. I’m too tired of my tired ass excuses to be.

Wow – that could be a downer of a paragraph, couldn’t it? I’m going to leave it as is, though. Summarizing things and giving some clever little solution makes for a tidy blog, I admit, but I’m tired of making promises I have no intention of keeping. What’s that saying about Bullshit walking? yeah. So…

On Thursday I took my Algebra test and I got 9/10. Right – for all you smart asses out there…(I can hear you now … 9 out of 10 wrong, CeCe?) There was one question that I really just freaked out about – but I worked it out and I still got the wrong answer though it made ALMOST good sense to me (my answer) – so hey – I’m happy that I at least got 50 percent of the process correct while solving the problem. Course there is no “almost” in math. Either it’s right or it’s wrong – but like most things in my life I’m realizing that there is some poetry to a process that really should be honored/appreciated. If you do things enough and there is a rhythm to it that seeps into your brain … hey … eventually you’ll grow some confidence, right? I’m trying to cultivate that in my relationship with this whole Math thing. It’s cool how sometimes you’ll do a problem and your fingers just fly about and you piece things together and you come up with the right answer and you wonder HOW the hell did I just do that? Practice hasn’t made 10/10 perfect but it certainly has helped me grow a bit more confident about a subject that use to give me panic attacks. Progress is a good thing.

Friday – Saturday I signed in and took quite a few calls. I don’t remember having such a busy weekend since last month! I had a really great time – met some great new callers I’m looking forward to knowing/exploring/spoiling/being spoiled by/teasing/humiliating and seducing. Whew! I really like those calls that just fall in line with the types of calls I like to do – my personality – etc. It’s like meeting a new friend and you’re stumbling all over each other when you talk. It’s not due to your not knowing when they are done talking or whatever – it’s due to your “energy” really. The way in which you already know what the other person is thinking – what they need – and you’re so excited that your words are boiling over onto each other type energy. I sold some more pictures to a great admirer – and also got more feedback than I remember receiving in a long, long time. That’s always nice to see! Oh – and I also received a really nice tribute from a long lost caller who called me up for a great hour role play. If it was simply about the “money” and “job” situation I would call tomorrow a day of rest, go to church and absolve myself, and do some laundry – but um… I don’t wanna! *grin* I will be on probably late morning/early afternoon. At least I’ll be on alerts if nothing else. Then I’ll log in for a few hours before calling it a night and getting some rest for Monday classes. I gotta talk to Tiffy and Mama Tee about revising my schedule ONCE MORE – as I’m going to have to be available during Saturday DAYs more often. I had forgotten how much fun I have on Saturday mornings – in my pjs eating cold cereal and excusing myself to take calls and be naughty in between my favorite cartoons.

Ok – so yes – I still love my little man, Jackson. And yes – he’s still testing his limits every chance he gets. My Doc, hearing my anguish about the torn up pee pads (Jackson now tears 3 of them up daily whenever I leave him alone for more than 5 minutes in his play pen – which consequently has every toy imaginable from every Pet Store in Southern California!) bought me the wizdog I had mentioned a few posts back. That should help with much of my pain. Jackson is just a bit stir crazy. He is outgrowing his little cozy room in the kitchen and has gotten a taste of freedom and peeing on area rugs. He is not an easy one to contain any longer and often times, yes, I ask myself what the flying fuck I was thinking by getting a PUPPY at this point of my school year. But then I pick him up to take him to bed with me at the end of the night – and hold him on his back in the crook of my arm, you know? Like a baby. He looks up at me and kisses my arm, fingers, any bit of skin he can lick, and I just melt. He yawns and the smell of his puppy breath (which always gets me) intoxicates me. And then I remember the “why”. I got him because a part of me really needed it. Hopefully I didn’t get him as a further excuse for not writing – but more for a sort of inspiration that I so badly needed. It is indeed much more of a responsibility than I ever imagined but one that I’m happy to embrace. A lot of this is just him being a puppy and I really can’t take it personally – or like he’s some asshole that is setting out to make my life more difficult, you know? Jackson has… completed me by being something I can so easily give my affections to. If I was a guy with this cute puppy Jackson would also be getting me laid. Seriously – this dog is cute…everyone says so.

Alright … I’m going on alerts while I watch a movie and doze off for a few hours before I face the end of my weekend. I’ll speak with you soon – if not tomorrow then definitely Monday (12:00-2:00pm, 7:00-12:00 is my tentative plan) Thanks again to all those who gave me such sweet feedback – and for the new callers I had the pleasure of meeting. Looking forward to many more sweet encounters!