Yes – My birthday IS right around the corner. Tiffy seems to have been preparing for this day long before me … and to that I say – well, nothing. I just haven’t been that into my bday. I guess because my bday has always been some preliminary to Christmas. I never expected a lot on my birthday – I doubled up on the gifts during Christmas cuz of everyone’s guilty feelings for not having made such a big deal about it. My callers have proven themselves to be much more sensitive about my bday than my parents ever were… Thanks guys!

A while ago people were asking me what I really wanted for my bday. I even had a person who had never called me ask me what I wanted for my birthday. To use his words – what I “REALLY wanted” (ah tell me what you want what you really really want!) At first these requests after establishing an 8 page wish list seemed silly to me – but when I thought about it a few days ago I realized that my wishlist can read sort of like some crazy cryptic message. To me – it all makes sense. I can tell you by looking at any page of my wish list exactly what I was thinking about. I can tell you what classes I was taking – what caught my attention during that particular time of my life or school year or whatever. But from the outside I know it looks a bit – crazy and schizophrenic. So … here is the one and only bday post I will do (until next year.) I will put it on out there what gifts I would really like to have – above all the other presents on my wish list. I also went through my list today and removed a few things that no longer interested me (like the vibrators – cuz well – Mr. Hitachi wand and the little bunny makes all those other toys totally unnecessary!) Once again – these gifts are merely suggestions. Anything on my wish list will tickle me pink.

Ok … so here we go.

If you don’t mind the thought of me watching too much television when I should be working hard on my math homework – these dvd collections would thrill me completely! THE DIRECTORS- THE ESSENTIAL DVD COLLECTION is mega expensive – but hey… if you have a few hundred burning a hole in your pocket – you can indulge me and get it. Isn’t the case absolutely ADORABLE? THE BILLY WILDER COLLECTION is gorgeous, too. Also any MUPPET SHOW series – or best of collection would be cool beans! EVERYONE LOVES RAYMOND, I LOVE LUCY, GILMORE GIRLS or THE BRADY BUNCH would all be way cool too. Especially RAYMOND or BRADY BUNCH! If it would make you feel better to send me something to read – then THE COMPLETE WORKS OF SHAKESPEARE, STEPHANIE PLUM BOXED SET (I don’t have any of them so please start at the beginning and purchase the first set first and so on… ), JANE AUSTEN COLLECTION or the ROALD DAHL Gift Set would be cool times a billion. There are also 3 (or is it 4?) POST SECRET books that I’ve been DYING to have. If you realize by now that I have plenty to read – and really want me to finish the recordings I’ve been promising for a year now – you can get me that really cool USB Microphone. If you want me to just write already and stop procrastinating my life away by watching too many movies – you can pick up any number of journals on my list – or hey – (a girl can dream!) buy me that Mac Lap Top I’m orgasming over. If you’d rather give me something more romantic or just want to spoil me a little bit – you can send me a gift certificate on Amazon and I can get some perfume or jewelry or lotion or whatever. And if you realize by now that music is my life – the new Itouch or the new Ipod 8 GB would suffice. *wink* Beyond these suggestions – anything that is on my wishlist (honestly) I would be happy to recieve. By now everyone knows what a movie freak I am – and how much I love Julie Andrews. A simple DVD of my absolute IDOL would be a sweet and truly appreciated present. Hopefully these suggestions will help all who asked. I see I’ve already received a few gifts from my list already and a few teasing emails from “secret” admirers telling me they are sending me things… and that I need to wait to open up the actual package on my bday. (yeah – right!)

I’m totally sleepy right now. NF went down right as I was speaking to Mr. Pink. (been a long time, mister!) – and it doesn’t look like NF will be up until way later. Jackson had another class today along with a grooming appointment and he wore me out. I hear him tumbing about in his crate right now – and if I stay up much later he’ll think it’s time to get up and play and ai won’t be sleeping until this afternoon. I’ll log in for a bit tomorrow – and Sunday – though I have a date with the Tiffers – and I think I have a date earlier in the afternoon with UR – Who is celebrating a certain um … Half a century event!

Have a great evening – thanks for the gifts and calls so far – and have a safe and wonderful day of Thanks – in case I don’t get back til after the blessed event. Hope the turkey isn’t dry – and that your relatives don’t drive you too crazy.

I have been so busy lately … I apologize for not staying on top of certain things. If it makes you feel better – I’ve been on the bottom all the way around. School work, House work, Laundry, Thank you notes, Wish list, Birthday announcements (yes – My bday is on the 24th of this month… presents are appreciated but not required) – etc. And then I looked at the calender and realized that Christmas is around the corner, too. How the hell did that happen? Maybe not so surprisingly enough – the only thing I seem to be “on top of” is Jackson’s training schedule.

I picked up some really horrible flu this past week. The flu left me with about a tablespoon of energy and about as much concentration. There was only one thing for me to do. I grabbed Jackson, a blanket, and the remote – and watched a 6 hour dvd special on the history of Broadway. I missed my calling. I shoulda been born a gay male dancer with a fabulous tenor voice. I know that’s probably a bit of unfair stereotyping there – but I think I’d have a much better chance on broadway if I were a tenor. Ok ok – a baritone.

This wonderous dvd special – courtesy of the original puppy before THE puppy Jackson was absolutely a godsend. Fosse, Chicago, Rent, Wicked, Chorus Line, ummm… Sweeny Todd (how horrible that musical is – and how absolutely SCARY! I MUST see it!!) West Side Story – and more! And the very best part? It was hosted by THE goddess of all Goddesses – Julia F’inAndrews!!! I suddenly felt life being returned to my limp body. As my feet started to dance along with the Jets in West Side Story this post came to mind. Music always has a way of transporting me back to reality somehow. Ok – I know that sounded really silly – talking about West Side Story and “reality” in the same sentence. I am well aware that the gangs in LA aren’t talking about “having their way – to niiiightttt” or some guy calling CeCe through the streets of some quaint Southern California suburb or whatever. I also know that most people don’t break out in song during crucial moments of their lives (though I can’t understand why they don’t!) – but musicals have always energized me somehow. They make things better. And musicals with great songs like “For Good” and “Glory” and “Seasons of Love” and even the corny “Climb Every Mountain”… well … if I’m lost and flailing about and overwhelmed…these musicals always bring me back to some pleasant day/time/feeling/situation or whatever.

So after the PBS church experience – I broke out my math homework and plotted points and solved for x and y in straight line inear expressions or whatever the fuck I’m doing in that class now. And you know what? I’m over it. I’m seriously over it. I’m over school. I’m over even trying to motivate myself to go. And I don’t think it’s because I’m depressed – I just … I just don’t want to do it. And I know that I should push myself to do things that I don’t necessarily like because life is hard and part of growing up is doing things you don’t necessarily like and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah times a trillion million – but GOD DANG. I hate that shit. It feels like such a damn waste of time. Would I feel that way if I were taking a class in let’s say – writing or something? I don’t know. Am I willing to try it out for a semester? I don’t know yet. But I’m tired of Math. Just thought I’d say that. I really don’t care what x and y are.

So anyways – the title of this post? I broke out the ipod the other day and listened to Cassandra Wilson’s version of Cyndi Lauper’s classic Time After Time. Cassandra sings it so eloquently – so dark and deep like thick fudge that is just starting to cool and harden. Her voice just wraps around you and that song is just so beautiful anyways. The song seems to echo the type of friendships I’ve learned to treasure. It comes so easily – slowly and deliberately, you know? Pretty soon you’re wrapped up in lovely tones and voices. Everything is just as it should be. And you wondered why it took you so long to listen.

No promises, ok? But I’ll try to write more often. I really will try.

So now that the smoke has settled – things are getting back to normal around here. Halloween went on with out a hitch (I didn’t dress up – and Jackson outgrew his Harley Davidson outfit much to my horror – so he didn’t dress up either) – Midterms happened and I survived (Say hello to my little friend A.) and I’ve been feeling pretty darned good. I got flowers the other day from a secret admirer…really pretty ones – roses, carnations, babysbreath…so pretty!!!, a new printer/photocopier/scanner from a friendly nazi, and a play pen from Dr. Feel Better himself. On top of the amazon gifts I’ve also received some great cash prizes from some adoring fans (thanks mr. cum69, chair, gun, matty, fit, and sexaddict ), and then some of the sweetest compliments/feedback comments ever! You all sure know how to cheer up a little girl, don’t you! Thank you so very very much from the bottom of my heart! MWAH!!!!!

So why the title? Well – a funny thing happens in Southern California after a fire. Animals start appearing that use to stay far away in hills and on mountain sides. Animals like – cougars. yeah. I’m not lying.

About a week ago a cougar hopped over a 6 foot fence in an adjoining neighborhood – mauled a little puppy – and ran off with a 50 lb (or was it 60?) dog in it’s mouth. The owners were eating breakfast and didn’t hear the doggies in the yard and went to investigate and found one puppy badly injured, and the other doggy was missing. They ran up the hill behind their house I guess and found a little bit of fur lying in a pool of blood. After the Vet had examined the other puppy that had managed to escape the cougar – they realized that the injuries were cougar related. There is a law in California that you can not hunt cougars (looks out the window nervously.) So anyways – Jackson is not allowed out in the yard with out supervision. Supposedly cougars are okay until they are surprised (or hungry) but um – yeah. Jackson would be like some finger food before the bigger meal (me?) so I’m a bit nervous at the present moment. Gotta love LA. Writers strike, Santa Ana winds, Fires, Arnold S. for governor, and now Lions running amuck.

Tonight we fall back – so I’m going to be on for a bit tonight. I’ll at least be on alerts for awhile – because, well, I can be. And I wasn’t on very long yesterday (just long enough to speak to my sweetie “chair” – HI Sweetie !! – Thanks for the call) due to Puppy School Fridays.

And since you asked – Puppy school is going alright. I do wish, however, that children were not allowed unless they could behave. There were five more children there this past Friday. They seem to be multiplying. Also – Jack was one of 2 of his breeds last week. This week – there were 2 other doggies – and the rest were all Maltese. I don’t know how that happened, either. Jackson was tortured by 3 boys. The two girls were on the other side of the training area. Jack would have been better off next to the girls. The little boy (the California Strangler) was better behaved, too. But the 3 boys, Satan, Damien, and Lucifer, were horrible: dropping treats everywhere, bouncing balls in front of Jack, and grabbing his tail attempting to distract him from his lesson.

We learned how to walk on the leash, how to sit (Jack learned that weeks ago), and received tips on how to stop biting. I walked by the snack aisles, walked past the really cute t-shirts (Nearly Famous – how cute is that!?!), and even managed to walk by the really cute blankets and cute beds. TAH DAH.

I better go … I’ll talk with you later on this evening. Tomorrow I will be on in the evening, too – but have a date with the Tiffers. What time was that date again, Tiffy? midnight? Last call of the evening? Make an appointment before then because after Tiffy I’ll be hitting the hay. School on Monday, remember.

Talk soon…

I am having a hard time believing that there can be so many comments surrounding/alluding to/regarding Jackson. If I didn’t adore him so much, I might actually be a bit jealous.

I have to admit that when I thought of getting a puppy I thought of only the really positive things. I would sit and day dream about a little white puff of fur sitting next to me while I drove around – pressing his cute little puppy dog face to the window and charming passerbys. I also thought about carrying him around (yes – I admit it – I did) in a little carry bag – where he would peek his little puppy nose out of from time to time and then cuddle back in the bag (designer of course) where he would remain – quiet – until I decided to take him out. The best dreams I had about Jackson were the ones in my bed – where he would cuddle next to me and sleep under the covers and his soft puppy fur would warm my body (or at least 5 inches of a thigh…) and we would wake up in the morning and eat breakfast together over the morning paper. Ok – that last part was exaggerated. I really did believe the other parts though.

Jackson is nothing like this.

Granted he is still a baby. And his brain is probably the size of a pea (says the good “doc”) – but man… I had NO idea parenthood would be so challenging. I really did not. So when Jackson decided at 15 weeks to refuse sleep until he had his daily and nightly romps around the house – living room – etc. I felt unprepared. I placed him in his crate at the foot of my bed like I always do – and he started the most horrible whining I have ever heard. At first I ignored it. He had already peed, he had had his treats, his dinner, his wine, etc. There was no reason for the crying and carrying around that he was doing. But he was persistant – and finally I had to let him out – which I guess only further trained him into believing that if he wailed enough Momma would let him out and he could have the run of the house.

I don’t think it was his dramatic thrashing and crying in his crate that made me do it. The spoiling came much earlier. There were the clothes – and the food (I bought at least 3 different kinds of kibble before deciding on the one I would use!) and then there were the snacks. Jackson has taken over the coffee table. The coffee table has these 6 compartments that hold 12 baskets (6 on each side of the table… get it?) and Jackson has taken over 1/2 of the table (the 1/2 that faces the couch.) It’s out of control. His clothes fill one basket. His shampoo and conditioner (because I didn’t know what kind to buy – I basically bought every kind the store carried) are in another. Then his grooming supplies (nail clippers, detangler spray, and about 3 different brushes/slickers/combs) are in another basket. He has plastic toys (another basket) and then there are his snacks (still another basket), his leashes fill another (blue and red collars complete with leads) and the final basket is just filled with extra stuff that doesn’t go anywhere else. I think his dog charms for his collar are in that basket along with a few other trinkets. It doesn’t sound too bad, does it?

that’s because I haven’t gotten to the other containers in the house that house Jackson shit. Like the basket in the corner of the living room that has every toy imaginable. You thought the toys were in the basket in the coffee table? Oh no. Those toys are PLASTIC squeak toys – the toys in the basket in the corner of the living room are his rope toys, his plush toys (like his gf Mrs. Zebra) and the balls he plays with. Yeah – I needed a separate basket for those. Even though Jackson sleeps in a crate at the foot of my bed – he also has a crate that he eats and travels in. Well, he’s suppose to travel in it while in my car, that was until I bought a car seat specially for him – which he also (surprise surprise) hates. Then there is the soft carry crate that he hates – but unfortunately he didn’t tell me that before I bought that one. Then there is the carry bag that now serves as his “diaper” bag – you know – the bag I put all his little things in when we go traveling and that I carry with me in the car in case we are stuck in it for a week or something and can’t get to civilization. There is a tiny water bottle in that diaper bag, along with 7 days worth of food, toys, a bone or two, a pee pad, and a few other items. Oh – and Jackson also has 2 beds. One in his little kitchen pen (consisting of two babygates that I also purchased) – and then another bed in the living room – JUST IN CASE he gets tired and wants to rest there. As If.

I am mentioning this knowing that I have a problem. I know that I have to admit to the problem (and that I am powerless over spoiling a 3 lb dog) before true healing can take place. I am now going cold turkey. Jackson has every treat he needs and I don’t need to get him any more. But you can, if you wish. He also has every toy he could possibly need to chew, hump, and attempt to eat – but if you wish you can buy him more. He also has enough beds, crates, and blankets – but again… I will not be purchasing one more book, one more toy, one more treat, one more anything for that doggy for the next month. Enough is enough (is enough.) I can’t go on like this much longer. I will be in debt because of him – and there are other things I could be spending my money on. But again…if YOU want to spoil him … go right ahead. He won’t stop you – he sure as hell didn’t stop me.

I went into the drug store today … for what I have no idea… and what should I see? Christmas decorations. They took away 2 aisles of merchandise and replaced the junk with Christmas lights, ornaments, cards, and boxed chocolates. It’s not even Halloween yet, people! Still in shock I gathered my purchases (christmas cards, and a few ornaments for some friends) and headed to the cash register prepared to give the clerks a piece of my mind. The words “are you fuckin kidding me, people?!” stayed lodged in my throat while I forked over 70 dollars. I’ve decided that every holiday I’m doing these quick little babysitting gigs and saving my pennies so that I am able to buy presents – I might as well take my hard earned cash from my first well paying job and get a head start. It’s the responsible thing to do. I sheepishly thanked the kind considerate lady at Long’s drug store and went on my way. The retail business has our (procrastinators) best interest at heart, after all.

Thanksgiving marks the day that the Christmas playlist comes out of hibernation. Babs, Julie Andrews, and even Kenny G in his god awful imitation of saxaphone playing makes my playlist at Christmas time. I play Christmas carols non stop from Thanksgiving onward and I enjoy every moment of it. And while we’re talking about Christmas holidays – white lights – not colored ones – and I’m not being racial about it, it’s just that white lights look pretty and the colored lights look gawdy as hell. No food on the trees either – that’s just obnoxious to me. Sorry. And while we’re at it – you can keep the tinsel (cats eat it and that’s so not attractive the day after!) – and snow men that are animated in the front lawn. I’m a minimalist when it comes to Christmas. It’s too bad that my family doesn’t feel the same way. The other year my father proudly put reindeer in the front lawn – and even though there is no one in my family that believes in Santa – the milk and cookies still sit by the fireplace with the stockings hanging by the fire (with care.) My father takes great pride in his decorating and if he had it his way he would put a Santa with a sleigh and all how ever many reindeer there are on the roof top while blasting carols through a loud speaker mounted to the side of the house for good measure. I keep telling him that Jesus is the reason for the season (his words – not mine) but he shushes me up with – “What would Jesus do? He would decorate decorate decorate – it’s his bday party for crying out loud!” My father, if you haven’t guessed, is a loon.

I bring up Christmas and the holidays because well – it’s almost here. I’ve been receiving quite a few calls in regards to my birthday (November 24th – thanks for asking! lol!) and my wishlist on amazon. Quite a few of you are wondering if I can update it a bit for the holiday season and well – I’ll try to. But honestly – anything on that list would make a great Christmas present. I’m REALLY craving the Gilmore Girls box set to be quite honest. I also am craving the Director’s series that is currently unavailable on amazon – but I did find it here. *double triple axel with a drool for good measure* This thing gives me absolute female wood. It’s majorly expensive though – so it’s like a dream, really. But man – I would love to have that orgasmic pile of dvds in my little capable hands! I’m not a perfume type of gal (except for this gorgeous stuff right here… yummy yummy in my tummy tum tum!) – and I really don’t have any need for jewelry or anything like that. I would love a gift certificate to petsmart, though (you can send it to my email address – Celinawetdreams@gmail.com.) A gift certificate to Barnes & Noble (nobel?) might be nice though – for school books next semester – and a few tributes towards my education would be swell, too (lol@my use of the word swell) – and well – if you’re a millionaire you could always buy me a mac desk top cuz I’m so over PC’s…other than that – nah. Everything I could ever desire (well almost) is on my wish list and at the risk of sounding like one of the characters in Little Women – I mainly just want it to be a good “season” of good calls – so that I can lavish my family and friends with wonderful gifts. Seriously – I have so much more fun GIVING gifts and wrapping them up and stuff. I love finding the just right present for someone and I love seeing their face when they open it up. It makes me extremely happy to give presents and wrap them up in pretty paper – and send out cards to relatives and friends and teachers and stuff. As much as I moan and groan about Christmas time – I really look forward to it and really get into the groove around um – December 22nd or so. (lol!)

Speaking of gifts – I really need to thank a few people for their generousity. Not only have I been completely blessed this past weekend (and the weekend before) with plenty of calls and great new callers whom I always enjoy breaking in (hehe) – I’ve also been greatly blessed with presents from my wish list. My dear Uncle Randy sent me the rest of the books that I needed for my screenwriting class – as well as a rather expensive computer program, Final Draft. I was so excited – I can’t even express it in words!! Final Draft is THE software that every great screenwriter uses – so to have my very own copy on my very own mac lap top is … A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! I have already started to use it to write my first 30 pages – to develop my characters – to make little notes to myself about plots and so on … it’s just the best piece of software ever. Thank you so much UR for sending it to me. I couldn’t have afforded such a thing for a very long time and was almost getting prepared to use a cheapie free version that wouldn’t allow me half the freedom that Final Draft does. You seriously made my semester at school a much easier one! I also received the wizdog from my dearest sweetest doc in the whole wide world which Jackson has already used a few times so hopefully he catches on to it quickly. For those of you who have been following my puppy training dilemas – Jackson pees on pads at the moment because he is not able to go outside. Pee pads are these sort of diapers you place on the floor for your puppy to … eliminate on. Jackson does this part fine – but then sees to destroy the evidence of the pee pad by using his razor sharp teeth to destroy the pad – reducing his pen to some nightmarish sort of Christmas scene – complete with snow and piles of dog poop in the snow drifts. It’s like he can’t help himself and no matter how much tape I used he still would find the inside of the pads and go to town. This wizdog however will take care of the problem. Currently he is screaming like I’m killing him though while in his crate – so I don’t think he’s eliminated as much as he would like to. God help me. Anyways – fuck anyways – I’ll be right back – let me see if he has to go or if he just wants to play before bedtime. (the old “can i have a glass of water mommy” trick, you know.)
Ok – he has stopped for a moment. Fuck – I lied. BRB. Ok – I’m back. So this wizdog contraption is basically a tray that holds the pee pad – and then there is a plastic slab/grid that goes on top that holds the pee pad in the tray and beyond the reach of the little puppy claws and teeth. So far it has worked like a charm – though Jackson gave it the ole I’m stubborn just like my moms college try. Ha! The wizdog is too much for him – even his puppy teeth and ridiculous determination can’t break through that grid (though I did notice earlier today that his teeth HAVE broke through 2 of the grids on the baby gate – I give it another few months before he shawshank redemptions his ass out of that barrier.) Thank You so much, Doc for the wizdog. I really think that it will work wonders and save me the trouble of wading through a sea of poop, pee pad snow, and masking tape. *Muahz times a trillion!* In addition to these things I’ve also received through the weeks several dozen movies – a great cd and several books from sweetest nazi in the whole wide world, Rolf, (private joke moment – Rolf really is only a nazi in the movie The Sound Of Music – and in his spare time volunteers at several Lutheran Churches in the area…) and well – Jack, too, has been spoiled by some of you and he thanks you for the gifts and requests that you don’t stop. I’m just the messenger, here…

So yes, Christmas has already started around here it would seem, huh? *soft music begins to play* but the BEST Christmas/Bday presents this past month have absolutely and with out a doubt been the incredible feedback and tributes you’ve given to me. Oh My Goodness. Sometimes I read through the feedback and literally blush. I can’t believe that you all have such sweet things to say to me – and sometimes I really don’t feel that deserving of it. I mean – I KNOW I do a good job at what I do because in part I enjoy what I do alot. And I’m not talking about the canned response about masturbating. Sometimes I get horny, yes, and I do play a bit – but MOSTLY I enjoy pleasing all of you! I love the changes in your voices as you are about to “finish” – I love even the embarrassed laugh some of you give at the end of a call with your disclaimer that you’re really not half as nasty as you claim to be during the fantasies (lol!) – I love your hushed whispers as you hide in closets to get in your quick fix before joining the wife in bed – I love the sigh of pleasure you give before you say “thank you” at the end of the call. I love the surprise in your voice as you realize that I do (even if I forget initially) remember your fantasy and that I have (even if I ask that you call me back while I read it!) read your emails and taken your fantasy into my little fantasy factory and spun a new tale around it. These things give me pleasure – so when I get your feedback in addition to all these other things I feel totally and completely spoiled! Thank you for making me days and nites by taking the time to do that. A few days ago I sent out a over 20 home made thank you cards to those of you who took the time to say a little something on my listings. These cards will change once a month and will always feature a little picture of me in the graphic. Just a little “thank you” from me to you. At the end of the month I’ll also be sending a few of you something extra special – so keep a look out around Halloween, ok?

Ok – I’ll be on alerts for the rest of the nite. I’m a little bit pooped from the busy weekend and need to prepare myself for my next Algebra test. By the way – I got the horse, I passed my Math test (I got a B+) and Jackson is getting BIG! He now fetches – and “drops” it like it’s hot on demand. He also knows “down”, “sit” – and the sound of a can filled with coins when he does something bad. He is absolutely adorable and I can’t imagine my life with out that little guy. I can’t help but love him – even when he’s bad. Everyone that meets him falls in love with him. Anyways – I better run and tend to him. I’ll spell check and link up some of the things I talked about in an hour or so… so if you’re here before 12:00AM Tuesday – my apologies. Jack is less patient than most of my readers…

Happy Holidays – (just kiddin… you got a few more days…)