And then I grin all night.

Hope your Thanksgiving was all you wanted and needed it to be.

I’ll be working tonight until around 3:00AM - then I’ll probably pass out and dream of pumpkin pie, stuffing, and catching my breath mid flirt.

But this year it was really one of those things I did not want to mention on here because I knew that if I announced it, I would have to figure out what I was going to do about the big departure from TEEN wet dream into the world of just wet dreams. I thought for awhile that I would retire once I reached the point where I could no longer call myself a teen. And I’m aware of the fact that there are some characters on Niteflirt who never age, and no one really cares … but just as my braces will eventually come off (less than a year and counting) so must I lose the “teen” in my name. How will it sound when someone calls me up and asks me how old I am, and I say “twenty.”? *click* I figured that retirement was as good an option as any. I wasn’t going to go suddenly. I would have had a party. Balloons, ice cream cake, a big candle in the shape of a penis. You know the kind. *wink* But yeah, I figured turning twenty was a sign to hang up my phone and headset and go into retirement.

I’m not going to retire. Come on. I’m not even done with school now, and there is a recession going on out there — and retail is not having a great time. Retail is what I’m best suited for, being a ‘young adult’ and all. So I’m going to sit still for a bit longer. I may change over to a different domain, but more than likely that will happen once my braces come off and I’ll turn into a young adult and leave the teen thing behind me. Even Peter Pan had to face growing up , you know.

So school is going. I got a perfect score on my Geography Map Quiz by the way. Ask me where the Canary Islands are. Go ahead, ask me! Geography is about to hit an intense level. We’re learning all about currents and wind patterns and other stuff I can’t even repeat…that’s how lost I am. But as lost as I am, I’m still getting a solid B+ in that class. After our field trip this weekend, I’m sure I’m getting an A+. We went to see the butterfly um .. what is it called? Farm? Reserve? and it was by far the prettiest thing I had ever seen. Then we went and looked at wave patterns on the beach. I’m not lying. We looked at wave patterns and then we also picked up rocks and tried to figure out what caused what topography. I kept on looking around this certain bend after hearing that that is where Santa Barbara University was. Can you imagine going to school on the damn beach? Come ON! Is it possible to get any work done at all? I saw quite a few students out tanning and surfing that day and also quite a few walking through the forests where the Butterflies hung in their little pods from the Eucalyptus trees. I have to go back there with Jackson. He’d freak out over the waves, but he’d really dig the Monarch butterflies, and the hike would wear his ass out big time!

English is a joke. I had mentioned once that I loved my teacher, but that love has quickly turned into a hate I can’t even express. I’m going to mention something in here now knowing that my readers will be sensitive and not ask me to do some sort of warped fantasy. I can do a fantasy about any other kinky freaky professor except for this guy - because it’s just too real to the truth. This is what happened. I wrote a paper about milk and how it’s not a good thing to drink. It’s an argumentative paper, I’m not going to get into it because I’m bored with it already. It’s a good paper but … yeah. Anyway - so I’m talking about milk and the milk commercials and I mention that it’s kind of sexual in nature, the whole milk above the lip thing and sexy models in these tank tops and fit bodies drinking it and blah blah blah. I don’t mean anything other than “sexual” in a very LOOSE term. Why the fuck did my teacher write on my paper “some people call it cum shots?” ???!!! Why???!!! Can anyone tell me in what world is that appropriate? I’m so not even lying. Not only did he write this on my paper, but then he announced it in my class that he wrote it on my paper too. While I was busy trying to figure out why the fuck he felt he could write something on my paper like that (to my knowledge he is not a caller!) I started to feel the eyes of every fuckin male student in my class looking at me wondering what it is that I knew that made the teacher write something like that on my paper. Seriously, I could feel them assessing me - checking me out in a very uncomfortable fashion. There are fantasies and then there are realities, and this, my friends, is a most creepy and gross reality. Before that gross comment my teacher has had other stupid things to say, too. About the Holocaust: “Get over it - lots of people have suffered.” About Koreans, “I didn’t know my son was mine … he ate so much rice I thought my wife had an affair with the postman … he’s Korean.” About Black people, “I told my friend once - hey - at least I can change color!” you get the picture. I was getting a C+ in my English class after I got straight B’s on my papers and Essay - but then I missed handing in a paper and got a C+. I handed in my paper last week though and I got a A- on it, but got counted down to a B+ due to it being late. Hey - I’ll fuckin take it. But I won’t take comments of cum shots on my paper. I still feel dirty - and I have done/talked about far more dirtier things in my life, trust me. Just somethin’ about a comment like that outside of niteflirt makes me way uneasy. Strange, huh?

In order to process all this stress of school and work and life and the uncertainty of our futures - I’ve taken my stress to the gym. I hired a nazi, let’s call her Elsa, and she kicks my ass 2 -3 times a week. I went to see her today and my finger tips hurt. I stepped up and down on a platform holding on to a weight that made me immediately decide against breast implants. My goodness - I practically tipped over holding onto 10 pound wheel of a weight. How ever do you big titty women keep your balance? Elsa says things to me like, “Do you want the easy way to do this next exercise, or are you ready for a challenge?” Damn her. How quickly she learns. All you have to do is put “easy” in front of something and “challenge” in front of the other choice - and you know I will do it. “So CeCe - do you want to deep throat me on your knees which is the easy way? Or do you want the challenge? You’ll be on the bed - on your back - with your head over the edge - and I’ll lower my 10 inches down your throat and you try not to gag. Which way do you want?” Shit! 10 inches of course!!! lol. In all honesty, though, I’m competitive as hell. It’s a good thing most of the time, but often I just set myself up for pain. Which I am experiencing now. But I love it. I absolutely love it. I love lifting weights, and doing girl pull ups, and doing balance work and core work and going 4.2 MPH on the treatmill on a 6.0 incline for 45 minutes. I enjoy sweating like a pig - walking out of the gym past all the muscle dudes, and knowing that I kicked my own ass and that I’m strong and capable and sweaty! It’s a great, great feeling. It’s also a great way to release a whole lot of worry, anger, grief, pain, etc. with out hurting anyone!

There are so many ways that we can deal with discomfort, hurt, stress, anger - and most of these ways that we use to cope will land us in the hospital soon enough. Cigarettes, overeating, stress, tempers, destructive lifestyles, not asking for help (or directions), etc. are just really counter-productive. One of the ladies I met while working at the gym a few years ago was diagnosed with Lung Cancer. I house sat for her - and she was so alive and energetic and … I can not even bear to call her up and talk with her. But I know I need to because she’s not going to be here for long. I promised myself that I would not be one of those x-smokers who nagged people to quit, and I’ve really kept that promise. But today I’m just going to end my long waited for post by saying that there are other ways to relieve stress. You could go look at some monarch butterflies or take a walk on the beach if you live in sunny southern California. You could join a gym - all the money you’d spend on cigs will surely pay for a membership, won’t it? You could also masturbate to a favorite movie or pictures (I will be updating my galleries very soon!!! I mean it this time!!!) or even call me for some release. However you decide to release some stress - I hope that you are able to release some so that you are more able to enjoy this holiday season coming up. You’ve all been such great gifts to me this year and I appreciate each and every one of you. Even calls that weren’t “perfect” or “five star” quality taught me a lot about myself and helped me to grow into the mature 20 year old I am today. Happy Holidays!! May your days and nights be Merry & Bright!

Tuesday: 11:00AM - 3:00PM, MIDNIGHT - 3:00AM - (later if needed)
Wednesday: 12:00PM - 3:00PM, off and on Wednesday evening - Thanksgiving preparations under way.
Thursday: Will try to log in once everyone passes out from the Turkey - but no promises. If I can make it it will be after 7:00PM PST.
Friday: TBA
Saturday: TBA
Sunday: TBA
*Feel free to make an appointment or email me if you need me to be available during a specific time for you. I will do my best to accommodate. *

Update to schedule: 11/26/08 — my late nites and school is catchin up with me! I’m actually going to take a nap. Yeah. A nap. It does a body good! I will be logging in and out intermittently throughout the next few days - but will try to keep you abreast of my comings and goings. How much innuendo can I use in a sentence?

But I promise I will do better. 

This is what we’re looking at for today’s schedule:

1. Geography Test soon - and studying and shower.  Not necessarily in that order - or I’d be pretty much one failing stinky student.
2. Work out at the gym tonight for 45 minutes (brisk walk while listening to some pretty happy energetic music on my Ipod and reading cspan on the televisions.
3. Limp to my car, drive home, log in and work on various projects I have going all at once in true A.D.D. fashion.
4. Consider blogging on these topics of interest while logging in to take calls around 11:00PM (perhaps sooner - but you know how Tuesdays are for me…):

   My Bday

    My C In English
    My Schedule for the rest of the week
    The Nazi at the Gym
    Retirement

5. Take Shower - floss - waterpick - french braid hair - say my prayers - and go to bed.

So … that is my plan. I need to go now so I can do the first thing on my list… studying.  So far I figured out my countries (just ask me where Myanmar is… go ahead - I’ll show you on my handy dandy map, I will!) but I have islands left to do and about an hour in which to do them.  Wish me luck … we’re heading towards the finish line and I’m running neck in neck with a Kenyan (Did you know, Obama, I ask him, trying to distract him.  He puts his fist in the air, I raise it in solitude - lose my pace, stumble, and fall even further behind.  Sneaky bastard, I think to myself, wondering where Kenya is in comparison to Sudan which is ON my map test, today…)

Talk to you soon.

I don’t want to go to bed.  I feel like if I sleep I’ll wake up and this whole thing won’t be true.  It’s an amazing thing. 

He has his work cut out for him, huh? 

What concerns me is that there are several thousand people who feel the complete opposite.

I wonder if my teacher will let us out early tomorrow to vote. Nah. She won’t. She’ll assume most of us took the time to vote before going to class. I have already done my duty. Tuesdays are a bitch for me - I don’t need one more thing on my plate to contend with.

And yet - sleep does not come so easy. I don’t think I drank any caffeine and I didn’t eat anymore sugar today. I ate a few pounds of it on the 31st - I could still be processing that, but I could have sworn I had an intense sugar coma Sunday Evening.

Ok - yeah. It’s 3:19AM (really 4:19AM) and I’ve been up since about 6 this morning - so if I start making less and less sense as this post progresses you’ll all know precisely why.

Just random things as they pop into my head, k? Pretend like you’re having fun. Course you’re probably so overjoyed that I fuckin wrote something in this journal you’re probably not even reading anymore through the tears of gratitude in your eyeballs, right?

Girls get periods. What do boys get?
Just curious… there has to be some sort of equal payback. If nothing - then I would venture to say that God is indeed a man. A female God would give you all something equally as trying once a month to deal with. And shut up, Tiffy. Pay back can not be in the form of having to live with a woman who gets her period once a month. I saw that one coming. I’m not that tired.

What is the big fuckin hairy fuckin deal with men getting married to men or women getting married to women? In the state of California the only thing that is getting in the way of fuckin traditional marriage is the marriages of hollywood stars. People like Brittney who marry back up dancers, breed with them, then shave their head and hand over visitation rights to them after messy divorces mess up traditional marriages. Tommy Lee and Pamela Smith - they mess up traditional marriages. Tom Cruise jumpin up and down on a sofa about a woman who is young enough to be his daughter … (kinky yes - but marriage?) ruins traditional marriage. Ohhhh - Woody Fuckin Allen - yeah - talk to him - wait - that’s New York. Never mind. My point here is this: In the state of California people will be voting on a measure that makes Gay marriage illegal. I say fuck you to anyone who blames Gay people wanting to be married as ruining marriage. Seriously. I say it loudly. FUCK YOU. There. And I mean it. If Gay Marriage is not supported in Hollyweird - there is no hope for any of the other states.

I hate my English Teacher. I seriously hate him. I have to tell Tiffy about the many reasons I hate my English Teacher. There are many many reasons. I will share one of them with my reader/s: My English Teacher is an asshole. ’nuff said.

I have to write an argumentative paper and I don’t know what I’m going to write about. I seriously am a very calm non argumentative person (laughing) and I don’t carry harsh and strong opinions. I imagine I’ll write somethin about this gay marriage thing - but if it passes I’ll be preaching to the choir, and if it doesn’t pass I’ll be bitter and too emotional and my teacher says that’s a bad thing to be in this type of a paper.

Speaking of writing - I was suppose to do this NaNoWriMo project and I guess 4 days in now it’s too late for me to start. Tiffy - weren’t you suppose to do it with me. Not IT - we’ll do that later this week - but the NaNo thingee - weren’t you going to do it with me? I think you were. Can we catch up? Does this post count? lol!

It’s sad about Obama’s Grandmother - but I’m jealous. She knows how this whole thing turns out. We still have to wait 24-48 hours to get the results and in the meantime listen to stations call the race (incorrectly) and fuck things up until we get those results in 24-48 hours. It’s going to be a long evening.

I haven’t made a podcast in like forever. I have too much to say and not enough to say.

Tonight I did something really adult and made a budget for myself. I realized that some of you might have a budget, too - and my empty promises for recordings have probably made you bitter. I did a custom recording though - and it turned out really nice. You should really take me up on making a few for you. I can say your name all sexy and sweet like and it will be just yours and no one elses and you can break it out and listen to it before going to “rock the vote” and you’ll feel so much better. The form to request a quote for a custom recording is on the My Recording page.

I saw a really hilarious bumper sticker today - it said: January 20th, 2009 - The End of An Error.

I gotta go to bed. If I don’t sleep quick I’ll miss History being made. Whatever happens - it will be exciting, won’t it? And no worries any of you. If McCain happens to win and I move to another country - I’ll still work NF. Besides the occasional “eh” that may creep into my speech, you won’t be able to tell that I’m in Canada. It will be alright, eh?

Remember to Vote. If you don’t - you have nothing to bitch about in Wednesday Mornin’ … or for the next 4 years! Lucky for all of you - I DID remember to Vote (hopefully my mailed vote counts!) so you’ll be hearing my opinions for at LEAST 4 more years!!!
Guess who isn’t going to be a teen soon? Yeah - we’ll talk about that History In The Making in the next few days!

How does Your Wet Dream Dot Com sound? lol.

I think if you are reading this blog, you are one of my callers who knows me fairly well. Yeah - we can debate the word “know” and how well do you really know me, etc. etc. but I’m using “know” in a general sense of the word. You may not “know” me in the bibical sense of the word, but you know my little quirks and pet peeves, and you know what gets me off, and what kinds of books I enjoy reading. In the familiar sense of the word “know” you “know” me. What is the one thing I just can not for the life of me tolerate? Besides spiders? (taps fingers against the desk waiting for the right answer…) EXACTLY! I hate SILENCE during phone calls. There are a few exceptions to the rules - and you all know who you are - but for the most part if you are able to have and hold a conversation with me, you best open up your mouth and communicate. It’s not that I think you’re working for me and that I don’t know my place in the phone sex workforce fantasy or anything - I just really need input/feedback/direction so that I know where I’m going and if I’m going in the right direction and if I’m even in the right state! If you let me know what is going on in the beginning of the call - and gently (and quietly if need be) give me a few destinations, I’ll be fine. Honest. I have a really great imagination. I can create things so elaborate that I surprise myself sometimes. I admit that at times I really am horny, too, so I prefer to create fantasies that we both can share and get off on. I just figure it’s better that way. But this weekend I had about 3 callers who really said nothing for the entire length of the call. I literally had to speak to myself for 20 minutes of one call, forcing questions onto the participant (laughing at the word by the way because he wasn’t one!) and going no where quick. I finally just put my head back and moaned for the last 5 minutes praying to the phone sex princess that the call be over. I know this is not the type of thing one wants to read on Monday. I’m probably sinking quickly with my less than popular post on Sarah Palin (Pallin?) and now this one reminding you all of the ills of my “job” - but I had to do it. Because after this I will no longer mention it. Right now it is written forever in CeCe’s Kingdom that silent callers will be dismissed of unless prior arrangements have been made. PLEASE NOTE THAT IF I HAVE BEEN TALKING TO YOU FOR THE PAST YEAR OR TWO AND YOU WOULD CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE OF THE SILENT NATURE - THIS POST IS NOT FOR YOU! If I have spoken to you for the past year - months - 2 years - somethin like that, don’t even worry. We “work” together if you’re silent or don’t talk a lot. Usually this means that you’ve written to me before hand and explained your fantasy to me, your situation or whatever, and we have worked it out. Please don’t get all sensitive on me and think that I mean you in this post. I do not! The people that need to read this probably aren’t anywhere near my journal. Which renders this post pointless. But I will continue and say that I am going to start blocking silent callers who give nothing to the fantasy/experience. I’m not the flirt for you. I will physically come through the phone and shake you awake, and I’m not violent. Often. You gotta say somethin to play with me, boys. If you’re not into talking - then please take a look around my site and click on the “custom recording” section. That is what you’ll want. A custom recording. That way you can sit and be silent and not irritate me. I gotta do something so I don’t go insane. “So… what do you get into?” “anything.” “Um - so what were you wanting to speak about tonight - what gets you off?” “Oral sex”. “Oh! Great. Well… let’s do a role play then! Maybe I should be the next door neighbor or something and I can come over because I want to use your pool and…” (silence) “How does that sound…? ” Silence…then a faint “ok.” “Alright then. Um - I’m going to knock on your door now… do you want me to just tell you the story or do you want to play along?” Silence. “Hello?” Silence. “Hello?!” “Yeah?” “Hon - are you not in a place where you can talk?” Silence.

You get the picture.

Speaking of custom recordings … I’m going to be doing one later today (I keep postponing it, hon…sorry!)for a new client of mine. I am so excited. I know that you all can’t speak to me as often as you’d like with things being the way they are in the world…so I’d like to offer the recordings as a gentle weaning of sorts. You can have me in your ear whenever you’d like for a fraction of the price. If you have something specific JUST for you - then custom is what you want. The price will be a bit more - but we can discuss it and come to an agreement. If it’s something general then I can create the recording and set it up on my website where others might enjoy it too. You’ll pay a bit less than you would for a custom - but you’ll still have something that will excite you and tide you over for the twice a month call allowance you’ve put yourself on. *wink*. For those of you who miss me due to my schedule change, this may also be an option for you. You can find the form to fill out by clicking on the “recording” button above in the menu. And for the love of all that is good and holy, if you really are not a great communicator on the phone and can not bring yourself to write a note to me and explain your fantasy to me - or a list of things you’d like me to say/do to help YOU get off, then you may want to consider putting in a request for a custom recording. I promise you I will not be driving you crazy by asking you if you like something - or if you are still there - or to speak or anything like that in the recording. I pretty much know I’ll be speaking to myself and I can sit back and weave myself into a great little fantasy for you. I will enjoy myself - and won’t have to block you for being difficult and driving me to drink. Deal?

This is CeCe - and I approve this message.

I’m sort of kidding.

But I would like to talk about the debate. Yeah. I’m going to talk about politics. I’m also going to allow for comments and I’ll actually post them with out editing them into something permissible in the Kingdom CeCe which is, you should be aware of, extremely Democratic in a Aristocratic type of way. Adjusts her crown. So then. Let’s begin.

I learned a lot of things today in the debate thanks to my good friend Sarah (Can I call you Sarah?)- Madam Librarian. I got schooled on the first Article and that she’d really like to change the constitution because according to her, she needs more responsibility heaped onto her shoulders. Perhaps in an attempt to get to know what exactly the President’s job is and to get some “hands on” experience. She and Dick can get together and rewrite the constitution, specifically the 1st article, and then while they are in there searching around for things to improve upon, they can write up some stuff defining the good ole constitution of marriage because we all know people in Washington have the knowledge to define that institution much better than any of us ever could. Oh - and the church can do that, too… right after they define healthy sexuality.

I learned that per Sarah - if you vote for something on the Senate floor and your name is Biden or Obama - you’re “fake” and are out of touch with the American People and are just voting across party lines or according to your party for no other apparently good reason. But if you’re McCain and you vote against something that may make you look like an asshole - or FOR something that may make you look like an even bigger asshole, it’s because HE knows something that the American people do not know - namely the rest of the f’n bill/piece of legislature, like, for example, “deadlines” and “hidden messages” of what the bill was REALLY going to accomplish if passed. So yeah - apparently only McCain can vote against something for good reason and be respected for that while the good ole Demo’s voting records are just (pardon the pun) black and white.

I learned that per Sarah - being a part of a family that is “diverse” is just as good as, I don’t know, visiting another country, speaking to your contingents, and um - knowing what is contained in the first Article.

I learned that per Sarah looking back and pointing fingers gets you nowhere, unless of course you’re looking back and pointing fingers and bringing up the voting records of your opponents. Gotcha.

I learned that per Sarah - a debate means avoiding every g.d. question thrown at you and discussing in some vacant pageant way everything that makes you … well, you. And God Bless You, Sarah P. *wink* *smile* *nod* *adjusts crown*

I learned that there are a lot of people who buy this woman’s … spiel…and that they are growing in number apparently, no matter how much she f’s up. But ya know what? I’m not fooled, Madam Librarian Soccer Mom. But I love your glasses.

I will seriously up and move to Canada if the majority of the country I have called “home” votes this woman in. That is how much I despise and hate her. Not even Tina Fey’s accurate description and mockery of her can keep me here…and I love me some Tina Fey! I know it’s not “nice” to hate anyone…and I realize that despise is a strong word, my only regret is that there isn’t a word that is stronger because I would use it. I am seriously up and moving to Canada. And that is saying a lot, because I have been to Canada. I lived 45 minutes from Canada’s border, and I spent a good 3-4 days in Canada and lived to tell about it. Canadians are special people, but I would learn to adapt. I would even learn French, and then wait a lifetime for the Dr. I could finally afford under their Universal Health plan. I would learn to love bacon on my pizza, and the funny thin quarters that get mixed up with Chucky Cheese tokens. I would ride around in the funny buses, eat a lot of maple syrup, and learn to say ‘eh after everything I said. It would be an adjustment, but I wouldn’t have to fear every heartbeat of McCain’s that would bring Sarah P. closer to running the country. Of course she feels that government should just get out of the way - so maybe she would just sleep at the white house and do nothing while the people took back power and ran themselves.

Oh - and I also learned that if you spread press about how horrible Sarah is at debating, and how a victory will be if she doesn’t fuck up too bad, while spreading rumors at the same time about how wonderful Biden is at the art of debate - you can pretty much secure a win for Sarah, even if she stares blankly at the camera and drools, while assuring that unless Biden mops the floor up with her ass he is just mediocre at best. I haven’t seen so much spinning since that one time in Michael Mahoney’s basement with the bottle and half of my Jr. High School Classmates.

I won’t mention politics on my blog again. I might have committed NF suicide by speaking out so passionately against a particular party, but let me just state for the record it’s so not even Party lines right now. I didn’t particularly go for the Billary team. I actually was heard saying I would rather vote for McCain than her…but ya know what? I would have changed my vote the minute I ‘met’ Sarah and voted for Billary - and I really did not like her AT ALL. I love that lady right about now. She and Bill would have made a lovely team. Kinda like the old days.

I’m done. Forgive me. Just blame it on my being young, unless you agree with me, and then call me and tell me how brilliant I am. Or hell, just spin it in whatever way suits your best interest. We all should be really good at that after this election.

School is kicking my ass. I’m fine with it kicking my ass in some ways and I’m deeply embarrassed at my lack of whatever it is that would keep me on the schedule I was accustomed to. There are days that I literally collapse into bed and veg out for hours at a time - and there are other days when I’m wired with all kinds of energy that I can not harness/direct. I’m going to try to focus and post something! (waves to Tiff - I was already coming in here to write when I saw your comment from 3 days ago!! how funny is that?!)

Oh wow. Just like that my desire to write has completely gone away.

I have a lot of things on my mind. Personal things that you really don’t want to hear about. We already went down this road before and not to be a baby about it - but - my feelings kinda got hurt. I’ve been attempting to be more honest about my feelings and stuff for a bit now and I’ve realized that as much as some people want honesty - they really only want it as long as it fits into their world and will allow them to continue feeling good about themselves and the world in which they live. I use to feel a bit like I was cheating whenever I came in here and was selectively honest - but then I realized over the last few weeks that that is really what a lot of people prefer. Think on that for a bit and I’ll talk about the typical school stuff and throw in a few dramas about the boy that sits behind me and kicks the back of my seat in an attempt to get my attention or something. Or I’ll throw in how I’m going to fuck my English teacher for good measure. I’d throw in a wink face but I’m not all together sure I want you all to know I’m kidding around.

Ok - so school. I’m enjoying my classes for the most part. I decided to only take a few classes this semester due to some things that are going on in my life - I just felt it would be easier to take a few classes and not have to drop 3 when stuff started to pile up which it inevitably does. Go read through my archives … it’s all in there. So on my first Geography test I scored a B+. Yay me. I got a lot of the math related questions wrong which I know surprises and shocks all of you who know my aptitude for math. If it is 9:00AM on Saturday in Prague, what time is it in Tibet? If it’s 2:00AM in the middle of the Arctic Ocean, what time is it in Fargo, ND? Seriously - my mind screeches to a dead halt with these sorts of questions. I’m gone as soon as you say “what time is it…” Nah uh. I don’t know what time it is. Am I calling someone in Prague? If I am I’ll figure it out. If I’m not - I really don’t give a flying fuck what time it is. We’re discussing cool stuff now like fault lines and plates and boundaries and what happens when subduction occurs and what is a transformer plate (hint: nothing at all to do with Michael Bey or whatever his name is… ) and other cool stuff like how they first made a map of the ocean floor and what they discovered in relation to the iron rich ocean floor. Cool stuff to me. As long as we’re not talking about what time it is on that ocean floor or mid oceanic ridge or whatever we’ll be fine this next exam. I’m 8 points away from getting an A and we all know I like a challenge. Or you should know if you don’t already know.

My English class is a joke and then some. I absolutely hate my English teacher. I hate my English teacher so much, in fact, that when a customer quite innocently asked me if I wanted to fuck him (in hopes of getting a cool fantasy… and I forgive you hun - you had no idea!) I immediately threw up a little in my mouth. My English teacher is the most egotistical asshole I have ever met in my entire life. Seriously. He spends hours of class time (and it’s a 3 hour class 1 day a week…) speaking about random shit that has no place in English class. The other day he spoke for an hour on how “I’ll be THERE for you” makes him sick to his stomach. “What is ‘there’???!! Be specific. ‘I’ll be there for you is retarded.’” Ok. Last week he spent about an hour going through all the things that we did wrong on our papers. There are 30 kids in the damn class, Professor - maybe we can just ready your f’n comments and get on with it. “Some people don’t know that your and you’re are different. Let’s discuss… I mean - let me lecture you while your eyes glass over - but I’m funny and a wanna be performer - so let me tell you stories about your and you’re in a funny way - throwing in a few “fuck you’s” while we’re at it because we’re in College now and we’re grown folks that can curse and use sexual innuendos until the cows come home.” I wrote a paper and have to do the final draft by this friday and I have no idea (save for a few commas) what the hell I need to do to “fix” it. He wrote that I needed more details in my paper and I explained and detailed the hell out of my paper. I don’t know what “analysis” means and when I asked him what he meant by that he said that he was just making some suggestions - I didn’t have to take any of his suggestions. You know what, asshole?! (not you, reader, HIM!) If I don’t take your suggestions and just do my paper the way I did before you’ll give my A paper a B score… so don’t give me the bullshit about it’s just a suggestion! Give me an example of how I can be more precise - or more analytical or whatever, speaking of details you fuck!!

He’s not ruining my experience with English. On the contrary, he’s making me a lot more passionate about it, and also seriously teaching me how to be a better teacher which doesn’t sound so horrible now that I think about it. Maybe after the first few years I’ll have the summers to write my novel. The world needs better English teachers, though, cuz if this is what we get…we’re in trouble. Like Wall Street Trouble. Which by the way sucks. Hopefully we’re all staying adrift.

Take care of yourselves and know that I’m here - albeit randomly at times, but here still the same.

Hopefully we’ll speak soon.

**edit**

6:48PM Sunday Eve –
Alright - I’m going to go for a long and satisfying walk, and I want each one of you to think about what you did. *wink* I’m kidding, sort of. A few of you chaps, however, do need to think about speaking just a little more clearly. CeCe has a little bit of a hearing issue lately due to a thing called “smog” and “congestion” and near old age. Therefore, would you be kind little dearies and speak the hell up when calling? Grassyass (Gracias).

I’ll be back in a few hours and will be ready for all you have to give me. I’m prepared for the few of my special smart asses to call me up speaking loudly as if to their grandmothers as a little prank. I know you are all out there waiting for me to become available. *waving my finger at you in mock sternness*. xoxo