It’s official: I will seriously do ANYTHING to postpone running some days. Here I am… actually blogging. I’m just finishing up week 4 of the Couch to 5 K program, and I don’t know what week 5 has in store because week 4 almost killed me. My bones hurt thinking about running today for 16 minutes. Not all at once, but at least 2 intervals of 5 minutes. Which is plenty. Try it some time (all you non runners… Mr. Hyatt can not talk on this subject – he frequently runs his three miles – in about 15 minutes – daily. And he’s … distinguished, let’s just say…)

Whoa – I got so off track. Anyway – I’m running this morning, so I’m about to be “unavailable” for calls. Which leads me to this subject: I know what my rates are. There is a method to my madness. If you are ever tempted to tell me what my rates are – don’t. I’m aware of it. Really I am. You are all so sweet and protective though. I appreciate it. That’s all I’m gonna say about that… *wink face*

After I run and hopefully recover and live, I’m going to go to church. Yes. I go to church. Every Sunday unless I’m ill. It’s a habit, forced upon me as a child. But now I enjoy it. It gives me a chance to pray for all of the naughty men (regardless of if you feel you need it or not – *ahem* Last Shot and Milkman!) AND it gives me a chance to get a little ‘insurance’ for all the naughty stuff I’m about to do for the week ahead. Like the insurance man told me the other day, you buy insurance hoping you’ll never need it. By the time you need insurance, it’s a bit too late to buy it then, right? You all know I’m totally having fun with the irony of a phone sex girl going to church on sundays and then coming home and breaking out her hitachi wand to masturbate, right?

I will be back this afternoon! Now I’m REALLY going to get going on my run. I could have been (almost) done by now!

Come dream with me later on this afternoon, okay? You’ll be glad you did!

So a lot of you are probably wondering why I’m giving away pieces of myself. Here is the rather late explanation of what the heck is going on inside of my head.

It all started when I was 3 years old. The neighbor boy…

Kidding!

So this is what is up.

For a while I’ve been wondering how to give a little something back to … eeeew.
spider.
Brb.

So I was saying…

I have been wondering how to give back to my dreamers. A bit of an incentive program, let’s say. I wanted it to be special and something that I could keep up with. I figured out the most brilliant and creative way to treat you all, but I’m already falling behind. But do not fear! I shall prevail.

Because my madness is top secret, I will not be revealing the details here. But give me a call (or even an email) and ask me for the password to my “win a piece of me” protected post, and you’ll have all the information and details you can handle. You could also just make a call that’s 15 minutes or longer, or leave a bit of well deserved, honest feedback and you’ll get the password and first piece of me via niteflirt email.

Curious? Give me a call. You’ll be glad you did!

About a week ago I decided I needed a new adventure. Maybe it’s my ADD – maybe it’s avoidance. Maybe it’s that I still haven’t quite kicked my smoking habit as much as I’d like and I need to do something with all this inner ‘teenage’ angst I have. Who knows. Maybe it was a moment of insanity that made me google training for your first 5. Now even though I’m athletic (I’ve sprinted before – short distances, mostly, played softball, danced (not THAT KIND!) – and been a gym rat as of late) so this running more than a minute thing is SERIOUSLY a challenge for me. I’m definitely not a couch potato, but the thought of heavy breathing (why do all my posts take on a sexual vibe?) and sweating doesn’t exactly appeal to me. At least not when I’m alone in the elements first thing in the morning while running.

So I started this whole training project. And this coming week I’ll be on week 2. Ill be running a total of 2 minutes by the end of this week, I think. Supposedly at this rate – in 8 weeks I’ll be running 30 minutes non stop , which “they” say is a 5k. I think I’ll have to run 45 minutes straight to go that distance. I am not running fast enough to do a 10 minute mile. 3 miles is 5 kilometers, right? Damn American school system. Haven’t we been trying to move over to the metric system for the past 50 years now? Wouldn’t it have been easier to just do it already instead of giving us water bottles with liters and telling us how many cm something is next to the inches to avoid confusion. They tell us it’s easy – easier than the American system of units, yet the only people who are using the metric system are doctors and scientists. The smart people, basically. But I digress.

Running is hard. Anyone who runs has my complete attention and then a healthy dollop of respect on the side. People who run past me as I crawl along on my 20 minute mile are impressive. Their leg muscles inspire me and their even breath as they actually say hello to me as they pass is impressive beyond words. If I look in your direction as I’m “running” by you, consider yourself lucky. Half of the time I can’t see through the pain.

I’m exaggerating.

Slightly.

The thing is, I kinda like the challenge. I like running and knowing that whatever is inside of me – any fear or anxiety or worry or whatever, leaves my body because struggling for air and longing for my next breath takes precedent over any emotional trouble I might be feeling at the moment. I like the feeling when I forget the task of running and I look up and see squirrels running up trees, and flowers crawling slowly up someone’s white picket fence, and the fat Morris the Cat body double that lies in the middle of the path every Wednesday morning at about the same time every day as I gasp by. I love how at the end I’m always amazed at what I’ve accomplished. I like how strong I feel I am at that moment, and how my sweat catches up to me all of a sudden — like – “whoa! I’m hot!” flood of sweat that literally drips off my body in rivers of varying size and shape.

I wouldn’t say I’m addicted. Yet. But I’m fast on my way. I wouldn’t say it’s my drug of choice in making myself feel better, but it’s definitely in the top 5. I wouldn’t say I believe this whole process will work and in 8 weeks I’ll be running 30 minutes straight, but I’m definitely willing to try.

What do I have to lose?