Ugh. Insomnia sucks.
But while I was awake, I thought I’d get a head start on my blog entry for the day. I know – shocking, huh?
Don’t get too excited, it will be a quick one (insert various appropriate comments here).

So I just announced on twitter that I’ll be doing something for 40 days straight. I already want to quit and I haven’t even lasted a day yet. Don’t ask me why 40 came to mind, it just sounded like a nice number. We’ll see how it goes, but I’ll probably do 40 more after a little bit of a break. You all can feel free to guess what I might be doing for 40 days straight. Masturbating? Math? Mayhem? Abstinence? Aerobics? Anal? Had to throw some sexual things in there to keep your interest.

I’m not sure if this is the time or place to mention this, but … (I pretty much know it’s not the right time, but I lost track of my censor 4 hours ago when I should have been asleep. In its place is this now grouchy no filter bitch. My apologies. Before I go there though – Merry Christmas! How were your Holidays?)

My callers have spoiled me. I’ve been on line now for … a few weeks (I AM only 18, you know!) and in that time I’ve acquired some pretty special callers. Namely 2. Ok, 3. And those 3 callers have spoiled me rotten. They usually ask me how I am doing. They always introduce themselves to me, even though I know their voices by heart, they know my secret kinks and collect them in little journals under their pillows, eager to expose me should our relationship take a turn for the worst. I kid. But they do know my secrets. They always say hello – and most of the time say goodbye (some of us have an understanding, unspoken, that should they get cut off during the happy ending, they don’t need to add time to say goodbye. Come on, that would just be silly!). Some of my newer callers lately have found themselves on the other side of my block button. And I NEVER block. But if you happen to be reading this, and you can’t get through to your favorite teen anymore (and really, if you’re reading this, you haven’t been blocked. You know how that goes; the people that need to hear things don’t, and the ones who don’t need to hear all of this will call me, worried that I’m upset with them when they are the “3″ I spoke of earlier. Ok, it’s more like 20. 20 regulars), then more than likely you’ve done one of the following, or in many cases, a combination of 2-3 of these things:

1. Hung up on me after 2 minutes – leaving me to wonder, “Was it something I said?”
2. Called and demanded, quite rudely, that I moan for you, with no “lead up” or introduction. While I realize I work for a service, and you are a customer, you would never walk into a classy restaurant, seat yourself, pat your belly and order the waitperson to give you “some food” with out specifying what you’d like. Ok, maybe you might, but then you might also enjoy people spitting in your food, as I’m sure they would if you ever did something like that in a restaurant
3. Called and said nothing, or whispered so low I couldn’t understand a word you were saying

Now, so this post isn’t totally negative and bitchy, let me explain a few things that will make our calls pleasant for both of us, keeping you off my blocked list.

1. Introduce yourself. Contrary to popular belief, I can not see who is calling me. Your user name does not come up on the screen, so I really don’t know who you are, unless you call frequently – and even then, sometimes it takes me a minute to register who you are. I know. Unforgivable and ego-deflating. By introducing yourself to me, however, I usually can figure out what you like and immediately go into the role play, eliminating potentially awkward moments when you try to tell me how pink ruffled panties draped over your face while watching Happy Days turns you on. Or whatever.
2. Note I said usually. Sometimes I don’t remember callers from week to week. I get a lot of calls, and sometimes just hearing a name doesn’t register with me what kinds of calls we do together. If you’re a regular of mine, then I usually know you and your fantasies right away, but if you’re fairly new to me and we only speak sporadically, then please forgive me when I ask you what we talked about last time.
3. If you keep in mind a few favorite fantasies of mine, that would be going above and beyond the call of duty. But if you want a really great call with me, just mention a babysitter movie you’ve seen lately, or ask me if I’ve gone to confession. ESPECIALLY if you want me to moan or if you want me to be horny. Just hearing the phone ring doesn’t do it for me (I know, I know. So disappointing!). I don’t typically sit around and watch dirty movies and play with myself. When I do, you all are asleep. Trust me. (I just watched a really hot movie 30 minutes ago and none of you called and asked me if I was horny!)
4. I am well known for my realistic fantasies and role plays. So, please feel free to send me an email and let me know ahead of time what you’re looking for and if I’ll indulge you in the fantasy. Anything really does go. Most of the time. Even if there’s something that I won’t do, I will never make you feel horrible for suggesting it. Ask around (okay – you can’t ask…just read my feedback!) I’m pretty open minded and I have a few nasty things running amuck in my head, too. I will never judge you. There just might be some things I seriously can’t get excited about. I’ve only ran across ONE call in the past …um … 3 months I’ve been working as a phone sex operator (haha!) that I’ve had to decline. If you email me and call me to let me know to read the email before you call back, I’ll totally comp you that 1 minute it took to tell me to read my email.

I think that just about covers it.

I’m still not sleepy.

I hope this didn’t come across as bitchy/whiny/or complaining too much. I’ve just noticed myself getting a bit grumpy lately, and thought it might be wise for me to get this off of my 34B chest. Before things got ugly.
I’ll write a properly nice post later. I know you don’t believe me, since it’s been months since my last post. So, won’t you be surprised when there actually is another post and I’m more pleasant?

I’m up until I fall asleep. If you call and I see I’ve missed your call (there are ways to tell, you know. Niteflirt totally documents all my missed calls!), then I will comp you a few minutes for your trouble. I did something similar for a while last year as encouragement for you all to call. I realize it can be quite disappointing when your cock is in your hand and your favorite teen with braces isn’t picking up her damn phone. What a rude, insolent girl!

Talk soon my cuppy cake yum yum apples of my eye!

It has been forever. And a day. Now that we have that obvious statement out of the way…

So how has everyone been? How’s life been treating you? Got all your shopping for the holidays done? (And no, that wasn’t a plug for my wishlist – I’m sure you all know where my wishlist is located and don’t need me mentioning gifts, presents, or birthdays to manipulate you to buy me something in these hard financial times where presents are probably the last thing on your mind. I was just genuinely asking how your shopping was going…)

Couldn’t resist.

If any of you take me seriously, I’ll have to hurt you.

School is almost over, and as many of you have noticed, I have actually logged in more frequently, and have answered my calls when my phone rings! Also, as Michael and Sarah Nanette will attest to, I’ve actually answered my emails in a pretty timely manner. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get back in the saddle (sort of – I’m kind of riding side saddle at this point, but I’m on the fuckin’ horse at least!). All I can say in my defense is, I’m probably going to be getting all A in all 4 of my classes this semester, and I didn’t have to sleep with half as many professors!

I’m not going to make this all heavy and drippy sweet and sentimental. And I’m far too tired to be witty (the wishlist humor was all the material I had for you). But I do want you all to know that I’ve really missed you. Some of you die hards really make me smile. You’ve waited patiently for me to log in, and have forgiven me when I don’t answer on the first, second, or third attempt. I really have to say at this point I’m counting all my customers who are still with me and still call and still write and ask how I’m doing, etc. as my gifts this year (God that sounds so terribly Little House on the Prairie Pa and Laura finding the true meaning of Christmas episode, doesn’t it?! Gag!). You know what I mean though. And you also get why I’m not going to end this little note on some campaign promissory trick thingee. (And I promise – as your phone sex girl with braces – that I won’t let you down. I will suck, lick, and create stories and together, you and I….) Although not holding to promises would fit right in with that analogy/comparison now wouldn’t it? What I will say is – winter break is coming. And with it – 6 weeks of only one class (coughMATHcough). And I will have lots of frustrations to get out, and plenty of opportunities to bribe professors for a passing grade. Translation: I’ll be logged on much more frequently, lovelies!

Not sure if I’ll write again until after finals (2 weeks and counting…). Not that you’ve expected me to write in this except for 3 times a year (mainly opportunities to mention my wishlist), but I do have it on my list of things I need to do more of in 2012, so don’t abandon all hope. Not going to do anything to that outdated schedule page until after finals, either. Sorry if any of you are still looking at that page for guidance. Best bet is to check my twitter updates:
Follow @celinawetdreams
I make attempts to let you know when I’m logged in and when I’ll be logged in. And when I’m sleeping. When I’m eating. When I’m going for a walk. When I’m attempting to lay off carbs. When I’ve broken up with yet another boyfriend. When I’m looking for yet another boyfriend. When I’ve eaten too many peanut butter cups, peach candies, or popcorn, etc. If you see I’m available – give it a chance and call me up to say hi or groan, or demand things from me or whatever. lol. If I’m on it’s more than likely because I need a bit of relief or break or diversion so don’t think you’re bothering me. If I’m on by accident I just won’t answer. You should all know that by now, although I’m trying to be more “on” when I’m ready to take calls…

Think that’s enough of a “short” update for now. Hope you all had a fulfilling Turkey day and that the rest of your Holidays are bright and festive! Meet me under the tree? You’ll be glad you did!

Everyone needs one. Best gay friend. I usually call my best gay friends “Will”. I’ve been with out a Will for many months. Wills are great to have. They tell you when your breath stinks, when your outfit sucks, and, most importantly, that you’re still okay despite these excruciating flaws. Marcus is my Will. And today he asked me to sit next to him in class.

Marcus has this ability to do 50 things at the same time, and keep track of every one of them while making sarcastic remarks. He is raw – like wide open raw. He doesn’t care what other people think and will read this amazing rant about his latest break up – and will never apologize or shy away from the mention of his partner, gay sex, or the obvious passion the two of them shared, and I loved him for it. Just like that. I decided. He was this year’s Will. I only say this year because next year Marcus will probably not even be around anymore. He’ll have moved on, because he does that. He will pack up and move to some city and take on some job he probably can’t stand, and he’ll write some awesome shit. He’ll probably find a new lover to share his passions with and he’ll take in everything, like only he can, while reading a book, tapping out a rhythm with his foot, and slamming someone with just the right amount of classiness that makes the very person you’re teasing laugh at the sheer brilliance of your wit. And whoever happens to be that year’s Grace …well, enjoy the seat. You’re the lucky one.

I feel like I should be on a ship or something – commenting about the crew and the weather and potential issues with icebergs. What I meant to imply by the title, however, was that I’m experiencing something greater than a block and more the size of a large log. That weak attempt at a description can only make for a more convincing illustration of my problem. I simply can not write. All weekend long I couldn’t write. I worked a hell of a lot. I talked to most of you and did a pretty decent job. But writing? Didn’t write a lick. And I blame my teacher for it.

S.N. has heard all about this already and has given me some stellar advice. Which I might take eventually. Especially since my way of dealing with it went so well (end sarcasm). Basically what happened is that my Professor told me that I was brilliant and that a piece of my writing was the best piece of writing she had read in the 10 years of teaching. And then she said a whole bunch of other stuff – basically about my talent and that she hoped I was planning on being a poet/writer and blah blah blah. And then she assigned a poem. And it’s due on Thursday. And I haven’t written anything. Because I suck. Everything I write is coming out like the biggest lump of trite, sappy, cliche bullshit ever written. She said she’d take a look at whatever I had written today and yeah – I don’t have anything to show her. And what I could show her would really make me die of embarrassment. And instead of writing my way out of this block I just keep pissing and moaning about being called brilliant. Which is really all I ever wanted. Imagine wanting to do something so bad and only needing a word from someone whose opinion you value (is that who’s or whose? I fricken can never remember that rule for some reason. I think it’s whose, right? Cuz it’s not who is opinion – it’s whose….let me dictionary.com it.. yep – WHOSE). So you finally get that “yup – this is what you should do” word from a person who knows what the fuck she’s talking about … you – or I – should be relieved, right? Which basically brings me to the conclusion I’ve known for a long time: you really can’t satisfy me. I am unsatisfiable. insatiable. hard to please.

Ok – enough of that.

I’ll get over it. Pressure has always made me shine like a diamond – UGH – enough of the horrible cliched madness, CeCe!

In other news – I approached a guy in my writing class and practically begged him to let me be in his group. He told me that I was at the top of his list. That makes me happy because no one wants to throw themselves on someone who doesn’t want to be bothered and also – so incredibly happy that I’m on the top of someone’s list, too. Shit – I must have blown away some people during our first reading, huh? Sure wish I knew what the hell I wrote that was so impressive…

I actually have a funny story about every class I’m taking. But I have to save something for another day. Let me just say for now that my Poetry class is seriously hilarious to me. There is one girl in my class that will make her way into my novel as the obnoxious typical poet/writer wanna be girl. I just want to be careful because she just might surprise us all with an awesome poem on Thursday while my muddled mess will sound something like a beat up recycled Anne Sexton poem that will make everyone else want to slit their wrists.

More Later.

P.S. Sending out the minutes for missed calls this past week (or two) now. Also for feedback and generally putting up with my whining ass.

That’s all I got. A minute.

But I wanted to update everyone on the goings on of CeCe. I’m going to let you all in on a secret – but I am not looking for sympathy. Really. It’s just a heads up type of thing.

First week of classes kicked my ass. Turns out taking 5 classes (mostly literature) is pretty dang difficult. But REALLY fun. I mean REALLY fun. I’m having a wonderful time. Most of my classes are flowing into the other and I feel like I’m finally getting the whole college experience. There’s been several moments where I have been seriously ELATED to be learning. And I read some really incredible text – that was really difficult to read on a whole comprehension level, you know? And I aced my first quiz and could have written an A paper on everything I had read. I just “got” it. It all started to make sense. All the history and literature classes and PHILOSOPHY classes and Political Science classes – all those classes finally met at one point this semester and it’s like the planets all aligned. I don’t know if I’m making sense but it’s a great feeling to be able to use all this learnin’.

The result is – I’m still trying to figure out where study time goes and where play time goes. I figure it might be another week before I can put up a schedule. I know I haven’t had an up to date one since I was 18 (she says tongue in cheek).

This is what I’m going to do in the meantime: I’m going to log in when I get a chance. I don’t know how long I will last – but I will be sending you free minutes if I miss a call. and don’t go fibbing because I get a report of who calls and who doesn’t answer! So please don’t hesitate to call if you see me on. If I don’t answer I’m probably drooling on my pillow, in class and forgot to turn off my phone line, grabbing a quick bite to eat or something like that. Again – if I miss your call I WILL send you a couple of minutes for next time as an incentive to try me again the next time I’m on.

I got to lay down for a bit. This up at 7 and to bed at 2:00AM is beginning to take a toll on my eyes! But tomorrow today is my last day before the weekend so it’s going to be PARTY PLAY TIME at CeCe’s for sure, though!

Hope to talk/play soon!